I posted eariler tonight wondering if I am flaring and what a

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Mar 23, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I posted late tonight wondering if this never ending pain , stiffness and sleepiness is a flare . And from reading what you have wrote is sounds like that is what it is.

    I have had people ask me about fibro and why I don't get out much . And my daughters want me to be more normal. So I have tried doing that. My husband bought a small car and I have driven it often. And sometimes I do what I used to do window shop and after doing that I would notice that it hurt more to walk and stand. And I have been out doing some shoppiing as it is our first grandbabies birthday today, and there will be a birthday party for him on saturday if the weather is good it will be at a park that has a play ground where all the kids can play,{ SIL is the oldest of 9 kids and he is 21 won't be 22 till july and his DAd is in Iraq}
    So my daughter thought that shince she has so many little sisters and brothers in laws that a park would be the best place and right next to this play ground is the picnic area so that we adults can sit down and rest and still see the baby play.

    So I have to start putting on my game face you know the one. Where you don't say a word about how you feel no matter how many times her MIL asks me and I don't tell my girls either and I will have to hide it when I am taking my pain meds so the little ones don't see me take things.
    And I won't say that this is killing me and the pain is so bad they will already know that when they will see me walking with a limp and walking like I did when I was 9 months pregnant.

    And I will here OH MOM , at least don't make this party all about you and your pain. That hurts the most because they don't get it that I just can't leave it when I go places. Where I go the pain go with me too and sometimes it gets worse when I travel and this is over a hours drive from the house. And if there is wind I will be hurting more and more so I am bringing my coat and blanket for my legs so they will keep warm.

    I try adn not say any thing about how I am feeling and I don't mean for them to think that the world revolves around my pain because it does not. And it is not about me .It just comes out of my mouth like I am being truthfull and that I really hurt more than they will ever know or understand.

    The daughter who has the baby asked me how bad does this pain get and I asked her if she remembered her labor and she gave me that look like DUH! and I said it feels like you really could use several epidurals and they would not take the pain away but make it to that I could tolerate it.. That really shocked her she knows I am in a lot of pain but not that much. But at least I put it in a way where she understood how I felt.

    When I was a child I had horrid leg aches and there for a while the doctors thought that I had rheumatic fever but I never had a fever or all the symptoms of this disease but I have the leg aches and the aches all over my body all the time now. And I had mono when I was in my teens around 16 and again at 20 and I thought I was just tired from working and school but the pain and faique got so bad that i had to take time off and do nothing but sleep and I feel that way now only add stiffness adn aches, sever pain and horrid muscle cramps and my back , hips , and thighs hurt all the time.

    And before I sign off I thoght I would tell you what all I have been told I have. Degenerative Disc Disease, spinal stenosis, 2 bulging discs, L4-L5, L5 -S1, chronic meyofacial pain syndrome, fibro, arthritis { osteo} bad knees and a shattered wrist that has a plate and 6 screws that even if it has been almost 2 yeaars since I did this it still hurts like it did when i first hurt it.
    IT burns like I have fire ants on it and on my legs and hips. I am so sick of this that I could scream.

    I saw my pain doctor and and he was not there so I saw the PA and she thought that she should change my meds, from taking MSContin 100mgs 5 x a day and 30 mgs of MSIR, perocet 10's, soma, xanax, valauim , and visteril.

    She thought that I should take the MSContin 200 mgs 3 x a day and then left the rest alone and I tried it for a week adn I had the worst headache and nausea till I could take it no more , so I called and spoke to her and went back to my old rutine. My doctor knows what problems I have with my family about taking pain pills that are narcotic so he has told me to use my own judgement with takeing them so it is up to me to take what I need when I need it.
    I know that I can't take the 200 mgs of the MScontin as I can't stand being sick to my stomache and having headache too. IT is far more than I cancope with at this time

    Before this flare if that is what this is I was taking about 2-3 dose's of the MSContin and MSIR a day and the soma when I was hurting really bad and when I went to bed. But it seems like I have to make a adjustment and take them closer than I have.
    I have gone sometimes 12 hours with out takeing anyother doseage of meds and I can't do that any more as this pain is way out of hand. So I will have to figure out who many pills I need to take to ease the pain , I am thinking that it will be closer to three or four a day of the MScontin 100 mgs and 4 MSIR and a soma in the afternoon and one in the evening and one at bedtime.

    It will be a trial and adjustment for me. I hate taking pain pills and I hate the feeling that I get when I take them it is not how they make me feel it is more how people make me feel about it. OH your addicted to them , or there is not a difference between dependancy and addiction and there is a big difference.

    So I will take some more of the Mscontin and MSIR and I am going to ask the PA if I can have some lortab to take in case of I need some thing not as strong.

    I can't get norco here they don't seen to know what it is. I don't need the extra tyhelonl that perocet 10/650 has in it. the norco has half of what the other does. But the pharmacy does not carry it so I will just have to watch what I take and when i take it, I will now have to figure out a schdule to take my meds on so that I don't take to mmany to soon.

    I wonder if the doctors who told my parents that I had rhemutic fever and the monno are what started my fibro? I may never know. I just want to be able to sleep before 3 am andnot all day either. And I am tired of all this pain and stiffness that i have adn when I walk I walk like I am in my late 90's.

    And for some one who just turned 50 that is not much fun, I can't play with my grandson like I would like to as I can't get down on my knees to play with him and I can't lift him up as he weighs about 25 lbs and that is over what i can lift, I would like to know just how you all cope with this ddd all the time I don't seem to be coping as well as you are . What am I doing wrong? And what can I do to ease this pain,.

    The only thing I hvea found so far is to take a bath that has a bath oil in it from the company LUSH and it has cammonile and other herbs and flowers in it and I love the snuggle bar , it is a massage bar adn it smells so great adn relaxes me, but they are not cheap. The bath oil is $4.50 US funds and the snuggle is $20.95 US funds and they have a lotion that you would think it stinks but it smells really nice after ir sinks in to your skin and it is $18.50. so it costs me a small amount of money to buy these but they do help me alot & I wish I had more of them right now. but I don't.

    I don't reall know what started this thing in my body , a viris, or some thing else. I would like peole to understand that this will and can get worse over time and it is so painful that you can't stand it, I am not being a baby about this pain it takes over my life at times and i think it always will. But what ever made my body change to have this nasty fibro I will have to learn to live with it even when I don't want to .

    I am so worried that I could have other pe oblems like MS but I don't seem to have the symptons of it thankfully. But I have so much pain and stiffness that goes in to the deepest parts of my bones & muscels and I and struggleing with coping iwth this extra pain and lact of rest. I hate this pain so much adn I pray for the day when my family , husband included will come to understand that what I have it real, honest and is far more painfull than they ever thought it could be.

    I want them to inderstand it and learn to deal with it like they tell me to do,. Sorry for sounding out and getting irrated with the family. I love them and just wish they could grasp this pain adn understand it as I do.

    So I am going to bed now and hope that this pain will ease soon so I will be albe to sleep.

    whishing for sleep,and lack of pain
    Rosemarie
  2. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    But you need a hug.


    Love Anne C good advice up there I see.