I Realize I Can't do This Anymore

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by LadyC, Mar 21, 2007.

  1. LadyC

    LadyC New Member

    I have been trying so hard to maintain a job, take care of my family and my invalid grandmother. I began working from home for a major company which I though would be great. I thought I would be able to better adjust myself or surroundings to help me when I was in pain. The only thing that concerned me was that WAH employees were expected to do 30% more work than those in the office. But I had to try. I would begin work early each morning and continue until about 8 or 10 PM each night...sometimes even later. The worse I felt the longer it took me to do my work which in turn make mw feel worse. I was going in circles. My breaks would mostly be to change grandma's diaper or feed her, or put a load in the washer or dryer, etc. I almost never even stopped for lunch but if I ate at all I ate while I worked. I was miserable EVERYDAY and struggled to keep my head above water. Then we went through reorganization at work and everything fell apart. We were given more work and everyone was placed on mandatory overtime indefinitely. I did my best but was not able continue. One morning I was still up at 3AM working. The next day I called in sick. It has been 2 weeks now since I have worked. I have no idea what to do next.

    My company has me jumping through hoops now to be approved for short term disability. My doctor finally submitted the requested information today. I want to apply fo permanent disability. I realize now that I CANNOT do this anymore.

  2. monicaz49

    monicaz49 New Member

    Oh my..
    Hun, you have to ALLOW yourself to ease up on ALL your responsibilities WITHOUT feeling guilty.
    I was living w/ my sick grandmother and struggled with guilt b'cause i wasnt able to help like i wish i could have. I had to tell myself that it wasnt my fault....its the cards ive been dealt and i wont do anyone any good until i can work on myself.

    Now..of course thats easier said than done....but slowly try and conform your life according to your needs. Ask for help, pray, and the most impt thing is try to get the perm disability so that you dont have to work and the rest can be handled from there. You have way too much on your plate.

    The majority of us are very sick...and its underacknowledged. Take care of yourself. :)
  3. joeb7th

    joeb7th New Member

    I'm serious. The average person couldn't have gone through half of what you have gone through.

    I am 55 now. 8 or 9 years ago after my money grubbung brothers and their mistreating wive's took my mom and her money for 2 years. I was the last one to get her and had to care for her for 6 years unitl she went into a rest home for the last 2 years of her life.
    I didn't realize it at the time but doing this pput me into sever depression. She never got better, she only got worde, the government started with medicar help every day and in a few short years cut off ALL care. The money she had left went for her care. She was 86.

    Still to this day, a cheerful part of me has left. And now I have this mind blowing fibro and a million other health problems. It's been almost life and death and my mind since all this started. The average person HAS NO IDEA!


    But just reading your story, I wish I could give you a million dollars and a medal or two so you can finally have some rest and hope.
  4. TallMOM

    TallMOM New Member

    I tried to keep up with everything and had a stroke. I have cut back on every thing. I still get up early, and always lay down in the afternoon. I broke my leg the first Tuesday of Dec. and I could not put weight on that leg. I found out you can have a wonderful holiday with store bought cookies. I sat back and enjoyed our grandson.
    I hope you will fine some relief.
  5. LadyC

    LadyC New Member

    Skeesix, thanks for your response. Yesterday I was notified that my STD was denied. The reason did not even make sense. I called my Dr's office and still have not received a call back from him. Right now I'm just trying not to get too depressed. Just the fact that someone behind a desk can determine how much pain I am suffering and whether it qualifies as disabling seems so wrong. I'm in so much pain right now. I can't lay down comfortably and staying up is misery also.


    [This Message was Edited on 03/26/2007]
  6. LadyC

    LadyC New Member

    I appreciate everyone's responses. It means so much having someone really know what this is like. I'm so glad I've found a community of friends that I can talk to and learn from.

    Unfortunately cutting back on some of my responsibilities is easier said than done. We have a very small family and no one else is able or willing to take care of grandma. My older brother had moved in with her to take care of her then he suffered several strokes and is now in a wheelchair himself.

    I have discovered that if I don't do what I can for grandma and everyone else, no one will. Just thinking of not helping makes me feel guilty.
    [This Message was Edited on 03/26/2007]