I really need to vent Very long Just a warning

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mykas_mommy, Apr 19, 2006.

  1. mykas_mommy

    mykas_mommy New Member

    Ok first off I will warn you this will probably be a long post but I will try to be brief.

    I am having one heck of a bad couple of weeks, where it all blew up today. The day started off with me oversleeping my alarm, while I am in the bathroom trying to wake up my 3 yr old son comes in and proceeds to poop in his full wet pullup which then fell out onto my floor. So I have to clean him and the floor up get him dressed and get me in the shower which I hit about the time I should have been leaving for the day.

    Last Friday I made the decision to change my sons daycare from the one that he had been attending since he was 5 months old to a new one that I thought would take better care of him since it was in a church. Monday morning I get him there at 8am and by 10 am he has already escaped the classroom and ridden the elevator alone up and down. He is telling the teacher no and wont sit in time out so he was sent to the directors office. At noon he planted himself under the lunch table and refused to come out and again got a trip to the directors office. When I picked him up at 5 he was in the directors office again for not listening to the teacher. Chalked it up to new place wanted to check it out and test his limits. Yesterday I took him back and was in the directors office at 10 am for not listening and telling the teacher no. I had just gotten back from my Drs appt as a follow up to my fm, and got a phone call to please come to the daycare they can not control my son. Luckily I was 3 blocks from daycare and ran over there. He had hit a teacher on his way to his escape and ran thru the building. So I went up to talk to him and ended up taking him outside and spanking him because DHS will not allow that inside the building. He was allowed to stay yesterday. I picked him up last night and he had another trip in the elevator before I got there. So I took him back today, and really discussed things with his teacher explaining how I give him choices to get him to mind at home, where he doesnt mind well either but I can usually get him to do what I want eventually. I called at 10a and was told no major issues to report, the director and I both said maybe we are turning the corner. I went on working (more about work in a moment) and ran to get some lunch, I was only taking a lunch long enough to get food and come back to make up for Drs appt yesterday. Just as I am about to get out of my car my phone rang, and the director asked me to come get him because he hit a teacher and was being very bad. And then she said the dreaded words that he could not come back anymore. Keep this last bit in mind while I tell you about work.

    I went to work this morning and when my supervisor came in, almost my entire team went outside to talk to her. I am very paranoid about things anyway, so I just had this feeling that they were talking about me. I asked the one person that I feel is a friend if everyone was complaining about me. She told me no not that I know of. So more whispering and going into offices and so on. After I come back from my break at 10 my supervisor tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to come into the managers office. When I get in there I am being told that I am being written up for the errors that I have been making (by the way I was written up 10 days ago for the same thing) and for being frustrated with myself when coworkers bring me errors I have made or give me new info to use. By the way all I do all day is type patient information into the computer that is sent to me by totally lazy, inept receptionists at the centers we bill for. I type in information for 4 differant centers, 3 are in Tx and one is in OK. The 3 in Tx all use the same codes for insurance companies, the things I have to keep straight are the letters used at the beginning of the acct numbers to differentiate the accts. One starts ODC, another is TX and the last is TF, I sometimes get the last two confused but I do try to catch them. The one center that is in OK has all differant codes for insurance companies and has some other weird things that need to be done. So as one can imagine its pretty easy to put Tx codes in for Ok insurance. Anyway when I was written up 10 days ago I tried to explain about fibro fog and my mananger laughed at me and said she had never heard of such a thing and told me I needed a letter from my Dr to go in my file if its true. Luckily my Dr is willing to do that for me. So now add this and the daycare issue up and get that I have been crying most of the day. The other thing the write up for 10 days ago was about is that in my first 90 days of employment I had missed 56 hours of work, much of that was approved, but they still say it is excessive and it has to stop.

    So my manager and supervisor both understood the daycare situation and let me leave and promised it would not be held against me. I went to the daycare and begged to let my son come back but was told that 3-4 teachers are threatening to quit if he comes back. And was told I should check into counseling for him because if we dont get him in check now I am going to be sorry in a few years. So now I have been told I suck as an employee and as a mother.

    I came home and tried to call the old daycare to see fi they would let him come back and the director will not let him because I didnt discuss my grievences with her first. I have been telling her along the way, but her husband yelling at me last week and then slamming the door on me had been enough for me.

    I did get him in a daycare starting tomorrow. But worried about the whole behavioral issue. We do have a Dr's appt tomorrow with his pediatrician to see if he is ADHD which I think he is.

    To top it all off I got into an arguement with my mom about the whole thing, she doesnt know about the write up at work that would have been worse. From the beginning when I was pregnant she told me she didnt think I would be a good mom. This past Feb. my son was sick real sick for 6 long weeks (part of the 56 hours in the first write up), my mom accused me of doing something to my son to make hims sick and then today she again told me that I was not doing whatever it took to take care of my son.

    And to top it all off I am hurting like a big dog, my house is a disaster, trash needs to be taken out, laundry needs to be done (no good clean underwear left)and all I want to do is go to bed.

    And so how was your day?
  2. elastigirl

    elastigirl New Member

    Gosh, I really feel for you. Been there, done that with the diaper thing. It's a smelly, disgusting horror, survived only by the deepest love for a child :). (I could see my ex flying out the door -- "Um... I've got to clean the garage... right NOW!")

    My son is four now, almost five. I could not work. I seriously could have ended up in an institution from stress if I had been forced to work.

    I could give you a slew of advice, but I'm thinking maybe you have too much on your plate right now to even begin to deal with all of the facets of your problems. (Oy!)

    Anyway, only one thought: Get a therapist or a counseler, quick. Squeeze that one appointment in, weekly if possible. You need someone to talk to, someone to give you permission to make BIG changes, especially regarding your mother. Someone to be a neutral friend.

    Best wishes and gentle hugs :)! All single moms deserve gold medals :). I hope things start to change for the better.
  3. code34me

    code34me New Member

    I too have a 3 year old son and tried to get him into daycare and had to take him out for a couple of reasons. My son has Sensory intregration Dysfunction and alot of children will be diagnosed with ADD while in reality the have a Sensory Issue. They get overloaded sometimes and act out. It is not to misbehave but because they dont know what else to do.

    Just a thought that came to mind as I was reading your post and mabey something you could look up on the internet to get more info?

    It is very challenging for me to have FM/CFS and my 3 year old boy I get no rest at all! I also have a 13 year old daughter who rolling her eyes at me alot latley so I can so relate to the child issue!

    Take care of you! Codey/Carol

  4. bunnyfluff

    bunnyfluff Member

    He is simply the one who can act out to all the chaos & stress in your life. I very much doubt if you are a "Bad Mother". If you love and care for your child, and put their interest above your own, you are doing fine.

    My son went thru a period of time where he bit everyone daily. He was HORRIBLE!!!! When he turned 4 he finally potty trained, calmed down all on his own, and today he is just fine. You know, sometimes it is just too many changes for them to handle.

    Take a deep breath. And your mom was a giant "B" for ever saying you wouldn't be a good mom when you were pregnant. What kind of a "bad mom" does that make her?? Shame on her!