I really over did it once again

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Oct 25, 2005.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    AS my hubby cleaned the downstairs , bedroom, living room & kitchen. I finished the up stairs kitchen and now it needs to be mopped and I just can't do it tonight.I know thta it is not that biiiig of an area to mop but I feel like I have been drug thought a knot hole back wards.

    The pain in my legs and back is so bad, I just want to cry and scream. I can't take it anymore this pain is getting worse and i don't know what to do? WE are trying to get a loan to refinance the houes and we have to have it apparized in person. NOt a drive by like the last time.

    I have a bed room that no one can get into to see it as it is filled with so much junk and i cna't clean it as the boxes are heavy and I don't know HOW it will get cleended OH yes I will just shut the door NOT like that will do any good.

    All the clenaing ihas gotten my legs acheing and and I want to scream and it would do no good I feel like I in so much pain that words don't tell you the amout of pain I am in. I can't discribe this horriable pain in my legs. What am I to do? How do I change? I am doing all the things my husband has cleaned 90% of this house and I feel guilty because I can'tt do the cleaning that he can do and as fast as he does.I am silly for being in tears because I can't clean my house, I feel like i have failed because I am in so much pain and I failed the girls in teaching them to cllean what they learned was not from me.

    I so want to be that normal and feel like I can do the things that all wives should do everyday and not espect that someone will notice that I loaded the dishwasher , or I cleaned the stove. BIG DEAL every houes wife cleans her home and does not need to hae a pat on the baack to tell her that she is worth the thinks that she needs.

    EVery mom has taought their daughters to clean the houe and i have not taight them any thing so really they don't know how to clean a house and i feel that itis my fault. Why didn't i teach when I didn't have fibro and the other chronic pain syndromes. 'then they would at lear hvve a foundatation of house to do the house work and I failed them.

    Sorry for the pity party but I dispise how i feel because I am in pain from claning my kitchen and it should not be that way. Ssso what do I do aobut it? Do I file for disability so that i can help with with the bills so that I feel some worth in my self? I don't know what to do anymore. I am just whinning and bawling because of thhhis feeling of faliure.

    thanks for lettingme whine andmaon and groan about all the things i cna't do because of this dd and how it as weakend my body . I just am feeling sory for my self again. NOt really depressed just disapointed in the way I taught my family how to do things.I have most likely had fibro all of my life and i usued to fight the pain and fight the exhusting fatique that comes with it.

    When I learned that I had fibro {something that most doctors feel is all in your head and can't cause such great pain like i am in all the time} Well guess what it hurts like He** and I hate it . I quit trying to fight it anymore adn i jut gave up and quit doing anything to make my life beter than it was.

    I have much to learn about fibro and stop blaming me for having it. and accept it, learn that i can do things like house clenaing but I have to do it in nomore than 15 minutes at a time. and then i need to rest for at least 20 minutes and then I can clean a bit more repeating all this every day.I know that over doing it only causes me more andmore pain and making me walk like I am 90 instead of 49.

    Yes I know bettter to whinnnne and cmmplain about the things I cna't do and to feel bad because I can't do th em. Feeling sorry for me doesnot hep it just makes me feel worse and sadder. And more like a failure.

    HUgs,
    Rosemarie
  2. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    It is all so hard.

    You probably felt that the girls should enjoy their childhood and it also was easier to do yourself.

    I do not know how old they are now but maybe you can get some help from them. Make a rotating list of chores for them to do each day? Do not be too picky with them, for they have not developed the skills. Even a sweeper ran badly is better than not ran at all for example.

    You mentioned maybe filing for disability. If you can get such...go for it!

    THEN pay yourself first out of it.....for some hired help. A cleaning person can be found lots of times for $8 to $10 an hr. Just think what a twenty dollar bill could do once a week!
    And if your girls are at home....they need to pick up after themselfs. No ifs ands or buts. They can empty the dishwasher. Have them set a timer so they can see how little time some things takes if you jump and do it without dragging your feet.
    (Okay, we drag OUR feet, but for a reason..LOL).
    If your hubby helps here and there........hey your place could look great!

    Whatever you do I wish you all good things and you are able to solve the house cleaning problems. I know how you feel, as I have problems doing lots also.
    OH..on bedroom with boxes and all. Maybe you can get one of your girls or a friend, or hubby....to help you with them. You sit on a chair and as they take things out of the box make a quick decision on rather to keep it or not. Things not kept goes to trash or charity. (Maybe the girls could have a yard sale and keep the cash for helping, or part of it anyhow).
    Even if you only spend a half hr. or less each time, you will slowly get the clutter under control. I bet most of what is there you do not even remember or use any longer. LOL.....that has been my case.
    Getting things under control will make you feel so much better! With your illness, this stress adds to it. So it will help you feel so much better. GOOD LUCK
    [This Message was Edited on 10/26/2005]
  3. natrlvr2

    natrlvr2 New Member

    I over do it all the time.(I have to-single mom)In fact, right now I am packing and will bemoving to a house in about 2 weeks or so.I will have some friends to help me do the actual moving but not the packing.
  4. puppyfreak

    puppyfreak New Member

    Hey...I admire that you can do that much! My little apartment is 518 square feet and I can't even clean IT in 1 day!
    If I do 2 or 3 loads of laundry, that's it for the day. If I clean the bathroom and kitchen, I'm all done. Then it's at least 3 days before I get enough energy again to vacuum!
    But I sell on eBay so I have days when I shop [sale days at local thrift stores] and that really wipes me out. I always tell myself I'll only go for 2 hours but I'm slow [always leaning on a shopping cart] so I always overdo it on those days.
    I know I push myself because I haven't fully accepted the limitations of the Fibro and the neuropathy I have from and autoimmune disorder. I wonder if I ever will...I really hate being controlled by these illnesses!

    Char