I really thought my husband understood (Update)

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by IowaMorningGlory, Jan 13, 2007.

  1. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    I promise, next week I will post something positive!!! It is my goal!!!

    For now though I will vent one more time!

    I truly thought my husband "got it". I thought he understood my FM/CFS! I am thinking I am wrong. Why?

    He came home Thursday and says, "I have good news and bad news, depending on how you look at it."

    I said, "Okay."

    He says, "The day girl at work is quitting and you can have her job Ray says."

    I look at him with a dazed look...as he knows my pain the last couple days has been unbearable! (Or at least I thought he knew!)

    I told him "I would have to think about it."

    He says,"Well she has the job, and she starts her new job Monday. Tomorrow is her last day. So I told Ray you would probably take the job. Right!"

    Now, what am I supposed to say? I am blown away. He tells me Ray understands my limitations and will work around it.

    So okay..he realizes most days I will need a nap by 10:30 because I literally can't keep my eyes open. He understands that the pain in my shoulder blades will be so bad that I won't be able to bag groceries or run the register. That I will have to have a high chair to sit on because my legs will be shaking so bad I won't be able to stand for more that 15 minutes at a time!.

    Why would Ray understand, when I don't think my husband obviously does?

    Thank you for listening and Take care,
    Kitten Hugs & Blessed Be,

    [This Message was Edited on 01/18/2007]
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    one say except: hard to understand. Sorry to hear the gloomy news.
  3. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    It sounds like you are not able to work at all! So why would your hubby even expect you to?

    That sounds very strange. Maybe you need to have a good talk to him! See just what he is thinking!

    Best of luck to you!

    Take care! And I'll be praying for you!
  4. joyfully

    joyfully New Member


    I agree. You think that they "get it" and then they turn right around and just do something so off-the-wall that you have to wonder--------
  5. larryh

    larryh New Member


    Sorry to hear that my friend. Make sure you do what is best for you. You have to take care of you for your sake and for the kids. Even if he gets upset. I would expect better from someone named Larry.

  6. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Laurie, I really don't think anyone truly gets it unless they live in a body that has the pain and fatigue. As much as your husband loves you he only sees how wonderful you are and not how much you're living with. To him you can do anything.

    For goodness sake, unless you want to do this and feel you can, tell him. Remind him gently of what you just wrote to us. Don't spend one more second with hurt feelings that will only compound your illness. Tell him you know he loves you but you need to remind him of a reality.


  7. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    This morning before my husband left for work I told him I just could not physically do it. I mentioned the chair, and register, etc.

    He said, "No problem".

    I did ask him why not ask his daughter if she wanted the job as she needs one and it would be a good distraction right now.

    So, he went to work and told Ray and he was fine with the switch as long as there was a body there tomorrow to work.

    She will do good at it, and she needs the social interaction right now.

    Unfortunately it stressed me enough my temperature the last time I checked was 102! Every bone in my body aches and my head is killing me. I am thinking doctor tomorrow, I can skate to the clinic if I need to...a little bit of a blizzard here tonight I believe!

    Hey on the bright side....we have snow...pretty, pretty snow! Can you tell I love snow! At least I love it for a few weeks out of the year. Everything is so sparkly and fresh!

    Thank you all for your concern..and encouragement!
    Take care and Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,
  8. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    Give the job to your daughter, who needs it anyway. I hope she does well with it. Hope you are doing better today......enjoy the snow! Terri
  9. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    I am sorry for the added stress. You certainly don't need that, especially now.

    It will be good for your daughter. Bless her heart.

    It seems as if our loved ones can have a 'lapse of common sense' from time to time. I know my DH understands, but I know there is frustration at some level. I feel the same way.

    Please take care of yourself. Only WE know how we feel.

    Gentle hugs,

  10. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    Lacey took the job and is loving it. It is getting her mind off her boyfriends sudden death, it is getting her away from the area she was living in, which was not beneficial for her to move on.

    She is staying with us and it has been nice having her here. She is old enough now and and has went through a few more things in life that she is handles the boys well and they like her which has been a big help for me.

    A help that was much needed since Sunday I started feeling extra specially lousy, and Monday went into my wonderful physician and he told me I had Pneumonia...again. We are treating me at home with Rocephen shot everyday for three days, zithromax (which he is going to start prophylactic, prednisone, and my two inhalers. My regular meds and lorazepam since I haven't slept. (I used it one night, and will only ever use it again if I absolutely cannot sleep..I knocked me out!)I go back in tomorrow for a set of new pictures and to see if I am still making progress.

    Keep our fingers crossed and let us hope some of this stress goes down soon.

    Take care and Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed BE,