I saw' him' for 3 minutes yesterday....

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Suzan, Oct 6, 2007.

  1. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    For about 3 minutes.
    It was a HARD 3 minutes...but he finally relented..and agreed to give me the car back..and take the truck that still needs repair. AND he gave me $200...so 'generous' of him.
    I took the cash...we exchanged keys. He asked if the boys were home..I said yes. He said.."so that is how it's going to be"..I said I guess so. ( James was actually in MN...but his car was here, Brian did not want to see his father.) Once I had the key in my hand...somehow I got the courage to turn, say 'see ya'..and walk into the house and shut the door.
    It was such a relief when he drove away...and yet I ,with Brian in the kitchen,...I broke down..This is SO not what I wanted...But my wise 24yo said.."mom, the way he is behaving, you don't want to be with someone like that do you??" I laughed at that...and said no, I don't...but that doesn't mean my heart doesn't hurt. " He hugged me and said ...we are doing better here than there...and we will be ok. I said I just am looking forward to the day when "OK" happens!

    Brian left with his cousin to go to Green Bay...as I said, James is in MN with his girl...and I was home alone. It actually was good to have the house to myself..and to be able to just think...and do some self talk....and breathe a bit, with out having to think about how the boys may react to what they are seeing in me.
    So I am here alone till dinner time on Sunday...and I am going to take that time to do a bit of cleaning...and just reorient my head for the upcoming week.

    Papers STILL haven't been served which is driving me bonkers! I have emailed my atty after yesterdays car swap. I will be contacting him daily until I know that is accomplished. He was aware that I didn't mind the delay ...in hopes of getting the car back . But now that is done...and I want to get the legalities going.

    I am still doing my best to hold my head up..to stay strong for myself..and my sons. My daughter is still distant..but I cannot deal with that right now. We are maintaining surface contact...I just hope we have more in the future. My James told me that I can start thinking about what I want...and that I should be doing that. It is OK for me to move on....
    I wonder sometimes how these amazing young men got so wise???

    Stbx (soon to be ex) brought me some more of my things...although I think he partly just chose things that were 'in his way'..but I have more to go thru...some will be tossed!...and it is just more to occupy my time, so I guess that is a good thing!
    One thing I did get...was the papers I had mistakenly forgotten...so I feel better having those in my possession now..including all the car titles..which are all in my name!

    So..life in WI is going...not sure if it is forward yet...but the days go by...and I am still standing. Barely at times...but I am standing!
    Fibro is kicking my butt most days...the stress is making me flare up too often, but I do my best to deal with that.

    Just wanted to let you know how I am...hoping that I am still in your thoughts and prayers...I need support still, and you have all been so gracious about offering that to me...and I am VERY grateful to you all.

  2. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    your son is right but of course it's going to hurt and probably for a long time. Your whole life has changed totally, you've been badly let down by a man you loved and depended on.

    You're a strong woman Sue, just keep on going the way you are, taking each day as it comes and things will get better for you.

  3. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Glad things are moving well for you so far, and your sons have continued to be of such support despite the adjustments all of you have to make. I think your daughter will come around too, as suggested, it sometimes takes longer for some people.

    You said all the cars are in your name? You may want to talk to your att'y about transferring the truck into your husband's name now... if he were in an accident, you don't want to be connected in any way imho. Maybe also alert your insurance company as to the situation, just to cover all bases. People can do weird things in times of stress.

    Happy cleaning, if there is such a thing lol. Actually I know there is, I always feel good when I get it done, but always dread doing it!

    All the best,

  4. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong.

    Love to all, Ann
  5. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    That is a lot to handle! the stress must be quite hard on you. Please don't forget to try and take care of yourself during all of this! You are strong and you don't have to put up with any more grief out of that man! You should be so proud of how your sons are acting! You brought them up right! The daughter will come around.

    Suzan, you are in my prayers! Stay strong!
    Your friend!
  6. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    The stress is knocking me on my butt more often than I would like, that is for sure..but I Have been lucky enough to have a good day now and then..I even went to the mall on Sunday...that was sort of fun...Not so much fun to do it alone..but at least I got out for a bit.

    I have heard for sure that he will be served this week...maybe even last night..so some relief is in sight finally!
  7. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    So glad that you finally got rid of the truck and got your car back. Yes, check on the titles and make sure that the truck is not in your name in case of an accident, as someone else mentioned.

    Yes, I know it still breaks your heart, especially when there are children involved. Yes, your son is very wise in what he said to you. You are a strong gal and you will get through this all fine. Of course that doesn't mean that you will not have your down moments. Just continue to be brave and hold your head up as you have been.

    You are so lucky to have children or at least sons that support you. You didn't say much about your daught but quiet often , esp if she is the only one (daughter) that they dote on one another, shall we way. If you know what I mean. I think she will eventually come around.

    I am sure it will take lots of time to get over but you did the right thing. What did he think you would do when he said that to you that started this whole thing, like - "I can't stand to be your caretaker anymore" or something equally as foolish and cruel !!

    We are very proud of you for what you have accomplished since he said those terrible hurtful things to you. You are still in my thoughts and prayers. Keep it up hon.


    [This Message was Edited on 10/09/2007]
  8. doloresf1

    doloresf1 New Member

    Four years ago I was right where you are now. After 37 years of marriage to the only man I ever loved, I found myself on my own. It has been the most difficult thing I've ever been through. The pain of separation was like having surgery without anesthesia.

    My heart ewas broken, I had a chronic illness that caused permanent disability, and I was alone.

    Well, guess what.... I'm making it! I'm healing emotionally. And you will too!!

    I want to reassure you that you are going to be fine. The grieving is hard. But, you'll get through that. Please consider some personal counseling to help you get oriented. I went for a year and it helped me tremendously.

    I have 2 daughters. It was 2 rocky years before they warmed up to me again. There is a very strong bond between dads and daughters and they hurt for him more than I thought they should. But, now they are close to me again and a great support to me. My daughters are 34 yrs. and 40 yrs. old. So, you see, they're not children. Your daughter will work through her feelings and you'll be close again. It takes time.

    Remember that this breakup of your marriage is affecting all of the family. Each one has to find their equalibrium. It will come together. And your relationships with your kids will be healthier again.

    Take really good care of yourself during this stressful time. Try and eat right and rest as much as you can. Here is a big HUG from someone who's been there, done that, and bought the T-Shirt. Here's too your Healing. doloresf1
  9. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    boy just give yourself permisssion to take a nap when you want to....

    you will survive. we all do.

    keeping it short my right hand hurts w/the aftermath of the carpal tunnel surgery.

  10. sfrazier

    sfrazier New Member

    As before my adding anything to postings come and go but wanted to let you know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers. I remember how hard a divorce can be and I was healthy at the time. Hang in there and know that this board is behind you one hundrad percent.......SueF
  11. laceymae

    laceymae New Member

    glad to hear from you...going to the mall alone may sound like a small step, but you did it and next time it will be a bigger step.

    My parents divorced when I was very young. I will be 45 next month and I still have a hard time excepting the fact that he walked out of our life and never looked back.

    It's a hard when there are children involved no matter what the age...but as I got older I knew that mom couldn't have stayed, no matter how much I missed my daddy.

    prayers and a hug for you