I still wonder about my mind but things are better now

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Nov 5, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    My youngest daughter called me today and told me that her son was ok after he imbibed on his cough medication and over dosed himself. He slept well last night except when he fell out of his bed, but other than that he is just fine. She taked to me for quite awhile and she told me just how much she does appericate me for all that I do for her.
    MY youngest daughter is the one who understands me the most and accepts me , loves me just because I am her Mom. She is just 22 and married with a 19 months old baby and a baby girl on the way. Yet when she calls me sometimes it is still Mommy I need you . And she is the one who will do the most for me.

    My middle daughter lives in Ct. She is moving home in December. And is in for a rude awakening.


    As I am making sure that her Dad will back me up on things. I know that she is 24 years old but she still needs to follow the house rules like helping with the house work and if she is not going to be home and is going to spend the night with her friend Mykal then she needs to tell me before 3 am. And NO more stating out till 4 am either.

    I know that she is old enough to do what she wants but if she lives here than she needs to understand that when I finally fall alseep that I would like to stay that way. And not wake up when she comes home. Which I have done when she was at home.

    I don't expect her to stay home every night or not spend the night with her best friend as they have not spent much time as she has been gone for 5 years now. But I would like her to stay at home sometimes and to mostly help me keep the house cleaned up.
    It is not a huge mess now but I have to really work hard to keep it as clean as it is and I need some help to keep it looking as good as it does.

    It is my oldest daughter who gives me the most grief and she is 28 , married and lives with my Mom , her grandma. But she does not help my MOm with the house work. She works at the DLV and works all day and goes to school as well. B
    ut she has NO understanding that people with fibro are not all the same. We don't all have the same things wrong or that make us hurt.

    But she tells me all about some woman who is in a wheel chair and she does more than me. NO matter what I do she is mad at me and right now I would really like to just talk to her and let her know that I Love her and want her in my life , I just want her to accept me as me .

    Her Mom who has many different chronic pain problems and I will always be on pain medications.

    I don't want her to take care of me just accept me for me and for the things I can do. Not all the things she thinks will make me better and cure me or get me off of my nasty NARCOTIC PAIN MEDS. I am not a bad person or mother because I have taken pain meds for most of her life.

    She was such a wonderfull child and so full of love and affection and loved to be around me but now that I have fibro and take pain pills that are really strong and I am over wieght she does not want to do things with me. OR if she does it is at her terms and walking at a fast pace thru the mall is not what I can do.

    MY hubby is confused when it comes to my taking pain pills as he thinks that I am a addict.
    But for some strange reason I have always thought that some one who is addicted to a narcoitc like morphine would do every thing in her power to keep the dose going up and up instead of having her meds reduced.

    I have asked my doctor to reduce my doseage of my MScontin and while I still take far more than 90% of the people I know I still have reduced my meds intake by 100 mgs a day. And if I can do with less I will do it.

    It is having family who are addcited to drugs not just the ones that are prescribed but the illigal ones are what have caused such a rift between my oldest daughter and me.

    My sister is addicted to narcoitcs and has over dosed a few times and her husband is also addicted to drugs the hard kind. We don't have contact because I refused to let her " lOAN" hher my meds. They are locked up and will stay that way.

    You see my life is so full of people who have done some really
    bad things and my girls have suffered because of them. And because their aunt is addicted they all seem to think at one time or another that I too will be addicted because my sister is...But I am not like her. I take what I am told to take and not more than that. I may have taken pain meds when I was younger but still it was following the script.

    And when your young and in pain from female problems and have a alocholic for a husband and small kids and your in pain all the time life is hard and my girls remember oney the bad times in most cases not the good times that we have shared.

    It is really hard at times and I don't mean to complain as I do have good daughters and I love them so much.

    And my husband is so much better with me now and does not drink any more so life is better in many ways but when they were young it was not always as good as life should be.

    About teh husbands cold he is getting better today. And has rested alot so I hope that he will not cough all night to night.
    If he does then I will just have to come upstairs and keep working on my tole painting project. I am painting a perpetual calendar.
    And for me the HARDEST PART IS PAINTING THE NUMBERS. First I have to pase them in white then paint the the small pre printed numbers and they just don't look quite right to me.

    But as soon as they are done I will begin to paint the rest of it. HOpefully I will have my daughter take a pictuce of it when is done and post it here.
    Thanks for everything.
    Rosemarie
  2. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Would love to see your tole painting; I love that style of decorative painting! It takes a lot of discipline to do it well, that's for sure.

    Glad things are getting better. In my opinion, a lot of people react like your oldest daughter and others because of denial - it can be hard for our loved ones to accept our disabilities. They're used to depending on us for certain things, often too much. And of course it can inconvenience them too.

    You sound like a really optimistic person, I'm so glad to see that... it can only help you get better. LOL I'm optimistic, yet my kids seem to rebel against it at times as if they think I'm not being realistic; I find that really weird personally, it's obvious I know what reality is just thru living every day! And it's obvious you do too.

    Hope you had a great day today!

    All the best,
    Victoria