I tend to say dumb things when I visit the Doctor!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Lexied, Sep 16, 2003.

  1. Lexied

    Lexied New Member

    I don't know if any of you can relate to this, but it seems like I always go catatonic when I visit my Pain Management Doctor!! I get SO angry with myself because I have such a hard time getting him to understand what I go through. If I start telling him the TRUTH about how much pain I'm having and how hard it is just to even get to his office he immediately gets defensive and has this disapointed look on his face. It's almost like his ego is hurt because he thinks his treatment methods aren't working or I'm just exaggerating. When he responds like that I just seem to panic... I feel almost like he's going to just "dump" me and tell me to go to another Doctor. So- if he asks me if I've been better I tell him "YES" when I really mean "NO", or when he tells me I need to MAKE myself get out more - instead of telling him that I'm doing all I can now, I'll say "I know...maybe you're right." Don't get me wrong ... he has been an absolute godsend. He has helped me when no one else could and I am very thankful to have him as my Doctor. However, he doesn't really know how to talk to his patients without seeming condescending. He once told me that I wasn't trying hard enough and that he thought my depression was keeping me from being active. That was the WORST thing he could have said to me. I push myself SO hard every single day ... many times I wind up paying for it afterward and can hardly even move for days!! How dare he pass that kind of judgement on me. I know I've got to change the way I talk to him ... that's the only way he can really know how I'm doing. I've just gotten in this rut by telling him what I think he WANTS to hear! Maybe I'm the only CHICKEN that does this, but I hope that at least someone can relate to this!

    Thanks Again For Reading!!

    Hugs - Lex
    [This Message was Edited on 09/16/2003]
  2. tlc8858

    tlc8858 New Member

    Be truthful when talking to your doctor. If your not, you don't have the important relationship needed between patient and doctor. If he is condescending and makes snide remarks to you, then he is not good for you. A good doctor is one that listens to you and is genuinely concerned about whether or not your getting better. If he has an ego about his own treatment, then he will do you no good in the long run. Be honest with yourself. You need to get better, but lying to yourself and your doctor isn't the way to go. You are important. If how you feel isn't important to your doctor, then get a new one. Don't short change yourself. You deserve better.
    tlc8858
  3. carole128

    carole128 New Member

    Hi Lex
    My Dr is very good. But I save up all my aches and pains until I have to go to my Dr for another sickness benefit form or more pills. In New Zealand you have to pay $8 just to have a perscription renewal. So me being very money conscious think I might as well have a proper visit and get my monies worth. By the time I have given her my pain list and my pill list, asked for another sickness form and she takes my blood pressure. 15 minutes have gone. She does sometimes make me feel uncomfortable when I am telling her about sleeping problems or stress and she just stares at my face. I intend to talk faster and land up sounding like a cot case! Once I pay my $30 (special rate) and get back in the car to go home I think of all the other things I wanted to ask her.
    However I find specialist the worst! You wait absolutely months to see them and think they are going to be able to sort your problems out. When you get there and they ask you about your problems they hardly let you say anything before they think they already know your case. They give you a quick medical and tell you to make another appointment for 3 months time. They charge a huge fee and you come out of their consulting rooms feeling financially broke and broken spirited.
    When I think I may have made a complete ass of myself and made my doctor has confused has I am. I cheer myself up my saying to myself I pay her to be my Dr and without people like me she would be out of work!
    Have a nice day
    Carole
  4. marta

    marta New Member

    I make a list (I check it twice), I rehearse, for goodness sake! And the doctor comes into the room and I blather like an idiot. And forget to ask her about what she tells me.

    For me I know it's because she's not a believer in CFIDS so I try to stay very focus, very objective at a time when I'm not feeling focused or objective at all!

    Good luck to us. I suspect we need a new doctor.

    Marta
  5. kalina

    kalina New Member

    When I first became ill with CFIDS, between my brain and my mouth I couldn't put a single sentence together. It helped me a lot to sit down before my appointments and write down everything that I thought might be important, along with questions I had. If you are having a hard time articulating your needs once you get to your doc's office, maybe this would be worth a try.

    Give a copy of the list to your doctor for him to read, and keep one for yourself as a guide to take notes and to make sure your doctor addresses each of your concerns.

    You MUST be honest with your doctor -- otherwise he will not be able to help you. Remember, this is what YOU are paying HIM to do. If you level with him and he becomes defensive or condescending, then you would probably be better off with a more compassionate doctor.

    Best of luck,

    Kalina
  6. Beckula

    Beckula New Member

    The list thing helps me, too.