I Think I am allergic to the guy I am dating!!! UPDATE!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by fibrohugslife, Mar 4, 2006.

  1. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    I keep meaning to update about this, I asked him about it and explained how I am allergic to cigarette smoke and it turned out that he visited the apartment manager before seeing me and she smokes. The smoke smell doesn't bother him and he does not notice the smell on his clothes.

    He thought I was accusing him of smoking for a bit when I was asking him, and he got a little upset and cleared that up when I told him that I know he does not smoke anymore, I can tell the difference between a smoker and non-smoker easily. After dating people awhile and dealing with people in general for many years I can pick them out really easily LOL.

    As for his place of work, his co-workers do smoke, and people smoke outside but the smell still carries with them anyway. In the state of California people smoke outside in the designated smoke areas, or further away from the place of business but the smoke smell on their body still follow them.

    His mom doesn't smoke so she was out and he has friends that smoke. So he said that he would be not be around the people that smoke before coming to see me, which has worked out well as I do not smell any smoke on him now. I can now hug him, yay!

    So all is well.

    Thanks everyone.

    Much love,
    Nicole

    ==========================================================
    Original message:


    Awww man and he is just the greatest guy I have met in awhile, completely open about himself LOL, we talk almost daily, a real gentleman, hasn't even TRIED to jump my bones, nothing, and then best of all he lives 10 minutes away.

    Well here is the deal I noticed that whenever I hug him, his clothes smell of faint cigarette smoke, and I know in our conversations we talked about smoking, and he stopped smoking about 15 years ago. My allergies kick up heavily around any cigarette or cigar smoke. Even a small hint of smell drives my allergies out the park.

    On our first date I did not smell any smoke or anything just his aftershave and I was fine.

    However I noticed on a few of our dates that I smell a faint smell of it. I asked if he still smoked and he said no, it just must be the surroundings like his job,friends, etc. So the only thing that I can pinpoint is it maybe it is his mom. He is caring for her at this time, and she currently is living with him for the while until he can place her in an appropriate place to live.

    So here is my dilemma should I ask him a little more detail, like if his co-workers smoke, etc or just what the situation is? Because otherwise I will have a hard time being close to him almost every single time. My nose is super sensitive to certain odors and such. I will have to communicate with him through a plastic bubble and I don't want to do that one LOL.

    Anyway let me know.

    Many hugs,
    Nicole
    [This Message was Edited on 03/09/2006]
  2. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    He doesn't live in the same place. When he quit smoking he was living in another state at the time. So I am thinking maybe it is either his mom, or his friends that visit him that smoke, and then his co-workers too.

    So I am going to ask him for more details later on.

    Thanks so much,
    Nicole
  3. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I don't like smoke, but I'm not really allergic to it. After long exposures I get sinus problems.

    I was dating a guy one time and we couldn't figure out why after I saw him... we only went out on weekends... I would get strep throat. I moved 800 miles away and would go to visit. By the time I got home I would be sick as a dog with strep throat. After much torture and puzzlement of doctors my boyfriend was tested... it turned out that he was a carrier and didn't get it himself. I was susceptible, so I got it. Yeah, the relationship ended.

    Tigger
  4. dragon06

    dragon06 New Member

    I would sit down and explain this to him as you have to us. Ask him where he thinks it may be coming from. Explain how much it affects you.
    If he is such a great guy then you certainly don't want to lose him over something like this. I am sure if you guys put your heads together you can come up with a solution that will keep the relationship happy as well as your allergies.

    On an added bonus, working out these kinds of issues usually help relationships grow and become closer, so you may get a 2 for 1 deal out of it.

    Sarah
  5. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i just looked you are from cali...it is against the law to smoke in a work place, bar restuarant...so you have no choice bu tto ask him if someone is smoking at work...at home...there is no beating around the bush in my eyes...if this is bothrsome and if he cares enough or respects you enought he will have to find out what is causing it for you...

    have ou been ove to his hoe? have you been to where he works? maybe it is time to just show up? then maybe you will find your answers...or maybe he is just walking outside someplace and just so happens to be standing near someone who is smoking...


    jodie
  6. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i just looked you are from cali...it is against the law to smoke in a work place, bar restuarant...so you have no choice but to ask him if someone is smoking at work...at home...there is no beating around the bush in my eyes...if this is bothrsome and if he cares enough or respects you enought he will have to find out what is causing it for you...

    havey ou been over to his house? have you been to where he works? maybe it is time to just show up? then maybe you will find your answers...or maybe he is just walking outside some place and just so happens to be standing near someone who is smoking...


    jodie
  7. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    tHE OTHER DAY we waited for about ten minutes in the bank line for a couple to finish up. When we moved into their spot it stank of ciggies. We did a very quick transaction then left(couple were outside puffing away).

    Got back to MIL's and she said, "Whew who has been smoking?"

    Gee it was on our clothing just from standing in their space.....

    See post to Fight re an apartment we rented that was an ex smokers, even though they replaced all paint and carpet and pad, it stank of cigs and even now we smell it on certain items we had in a closet. We couold never get rid of that smell.

    Love Anne C