I think I just need to vent..

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jacqueline240, Nov 24, 2008.

  1. jacqueline240

    jacqueline240 New Member

    Hope it's alright to here..took me awhile to figure out how to even open a page to post!
    I am pretty new here on the site. I came here because i'm sorta new to the fibro stuff & just need to be around people who understand it.

    I am a bit fustrated, and have been a lot lately. Which if you knew me i am quiet and sweet to anyone, and everything. Lately, i am just overwhelmed with so much pain. I get angry easily now.

    i don't just have fibro, i have something called osteogenesis imperfecta, and that causes my bones to break easily. Right now i have 4 broken bones that cant be fixed, and also a compressed fracture in my spine. Found out by the spine thing that i have low vitamin D, and degenerative disk disease.

    i also deal with horrible migraines, asthma (basically started after i had a PE in 06, bipolar 1, PTSD, anxiety, ADHD, and heart issues (VSD repair).

    I am honestly so so tired of my life revolving around all kind's of doctors. i just want to hide from them all a lot lately.

    i am extremely tired recently, and not sure why becos i sleep well usually. then, for my doctor to tell me this morning i shouldnt be tired because i am on high doses of cymbalta, and also on adderall xr.........it really upset me that he honestly thought i wasn't at all tired. I'm feeling more stable mood wise lately, but he didn't seem to care cept that i'm on high doses which fustrated me. when i was there i ended up raising my voice just going on how i felt etc. i had said why is it that you all seem to give me hope with stuff that does help me, but seem to take it away becos you can without talking to me etc. was a very fustrating day to me. i am in a lot of pain, and tired. i did however contact my reg doc who is great. simply just asked for something mild for spasms n pain. to that extent i feel blessed to have someone who realises i have many issues going on, and he does listen. it's really hard becos the holiday's are very close, and i lost my gram on may 3rd this yr. so it's the first holiday without. Then, i think im fustrated becos i missed her last holidau why???????? because i was in tooo much pain last christmas to go! which is grrrrrrrrr. she would be the only person i'd call to vent to etc about all this. Now i don't have that so i'm here, but until now i've just kept it inside ya know. i can't do that it isnt healthy to me.

    not sure why i even wrote this because now i just feel like an idiot to be honest.

    *feels alone*

    it's also fustrating that at 23 yrs old i dont even go do my own grocery shopping anymore, OR even attend my church because i hurt so much. And that everyone is either worried because i cant do a lot anymore, or fustrated that im not "trying" to do anything. the fact is i do try, and sometimes try so hard i end up paying for it.

    i don't know if i can go back to college even which i dunno i want to and i'm not sure anymore. Spose to go back on Jan. 9th however, even my hands/arms hurt so much lately i am worried as i am in graphic design school.

    well ill stop, but maybe this will help someone *hopes*

    God Bless,
  2. kellyamos

    kellyamos New Member

    Hi Jacqueline,

    Please, DO not ever feel like an idiot. I totally understand what you are going through. I have RA and FM and I also often feel just as you do. I am quite a bit older (47) and to think you are so young with all of these health problems. I feel so sad for you.

    I have a hubby that could not care less about me. I do EVERYTHING around the house and still work full time... And boy do I ever need to vent sometimes. All of us here on the board do care and we all can relate to everyone as we all suffer from these DD's.

    Feel free to come here as often as you like to vent. That is why we are here, to support each other. Please try to find some positive things to focus on and take care of yourself.

  3. lrning2cope

    lrning2cope New Member

    You came to the right place. There are so many supportive and understanding people who REALLY know what having to vent . Please feel free ; I think I have seen everyone do it at least once.

    You know , I can't personally say that I know how you feel , because I am not you. I can really relate to pain and exhaustion and frustration and wondering if my life can ever stay on any of the tracks that I want it to.

    I am going to be keeping you in my prayers . I have an almost 21 year old daughter and I told her of your situation. She is rooting for you too ! Have you ever thought of voice recognition softwear for your computer / graphic design courses ? My daughter found a program for me and when my arms and hands cramp up , it is a Godsend.

    God Bless you Jacqueline , and you are so welcome here where there is understanding and support !

  4. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Hi Jacqueline! I love your name - it's so pretty! As others have said, don't you ever apologize for venting, we all need to do it, and this is the perfect place!
    You mentioned your doctor telling you something this morning, then calling your regular doctor...what kind of doctor is the first one you were talking about?

    You've got a lot going on right now. One thing I've had to learn to do is take one day at a time. It's hard sometimes because it is natural to look into the future, but when I do look ahead, I never do it with dread. I don't know why, I just don't. I have programmed myself not to, because one never really knows. Save your energy for today.

    People that don't live with it, don't understand how hard it is to live with pain - how it affect everything, not only your body but especially your mind. Do you have anything for pain relief?

    You're right, keeping things inside is not healthy - so whether it's here or with a friend, a counselor, family member, whomever, you need to talk about your feelings and what you're going through. You're obviously still grieving for your Grandma and that's got to be very difficult. Have you thought about writing her a letter? I know that might sound weird, but it may be cathardic for you.

    Finding balance in your life is critical - that and a good support system. Start now in making sure that you put yourself first - take care of YOU!

    Please post often - and answer other people's posts as well - we all learn from one another, we all have something to share and never be hesitant to vent, to cry to let it all out - we've all done it here at one time or another!!

  5. jmq

    jmq New Member

    Do not feel alone anymore....you are here with good people....and we know where you are ...both emotionally and physically.

    What I love about this site is the fact that you CAN vent....and there will be someone listening. Even if we have no insights or answers...we care.

    I am so sad that such a talented young women like you, has so much to deal with already. I was fortunate to be pretty healthy until middle age....then Fibromyalgia found me and took over my life.

    I feel like I am finally getting some control lately...but it is a daily battle. I thank God everyday for this site and the people on here who have helped me. I hope you find the same here. Keep checking in.