I told my boss I have FMS, what were your bosses/HR reactions?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Susi-di, Nov 3, 2006.

  1. Susi-di

    Susi-di New Member

    Hi there, I finally told my boss this week that I have FMS and that I am requesting she try not to schedule me for 9 1/2 to 10 hour days, which only happens here and there anyway.... but she said she could try but also may still have to at times to meet the company's needs. Geeezz... I am still willing to work 8 hour days,(I'm part time) but it gets pretty hard on my knees & I have weakness at times too, so I go straight home to my heating blanket. I also told her squatting down & getting back up are getting harder to do, and lifting heavy things. She seems in denial that I have to do these things in my position, but I DO, hellloooo.... Also, she said if I cut my hours she may not be able to use me at our branch and that I could get transferred if I can be used elsewhere. I had not mentioned cutting hours, she did. So anyway, she said I am going to have to have a meeting with the H.R. lady and she will discuss the A.D.A. with me (Americans with Disabilities Act) and about FMLA. I don't know what else she'll discuss with me... has anyone else gone through this HR meeting after announcing your FM or disability??? And how did your Boss react? Susi-di
  2. Susi-di

    Susi-di New Member

  3. johnston

    johnston New Member

    my work did what they had to do per the FMLA (the very minimum, so they couldn't be accused of breaking the law). AS soon as my time was up, it was up. I was told I could/had to go back to work. I was then 2 weeks post-op from an A&P repair with pelvic sling......I was denied short-term and long-term disability--even though it was a "benefit".

    So, basically, like most everything with this syndrome, my experience was not a positive one. Based on your supervisor's reaction, don't expect good things. The only way to get them is to fight for them. Get an attorney.

    Hope you have better luck than I did, Rhonda
  4. TKE

    TKE New Member

    I worked as a Adm. Assistant in a local union office. It was just me & my Boss, who was gone most of the time. He knew of my health issues & often offered to help me out. Heck he even did the office cleaning so I didn't have to. If I was having a bad day he had no problems with me leaving early or taking many breaks. Too bad more bosses aren't like this. My job ended 11-03 due to a merge & my job was moved 2 hours away to another office. He hated to let me go. We still keep in touch.

    Next job Boss was told, but I don't think he truley understood, but he did any lifting required so I didn't have too.

    >>I also told her squatting down & getting back up are getting harder to do, and lifting heavy things.<<

    You might also have lower back/disc problems developing, if you haven't been d'xd with them already. What you describe is how mine started years ago & has developed into herniations in both lower back & neck.

    Hope it all works out in your favor.
  5. Susi-di

    Susi-di New Member

    Thanks for responding. Actually the reason squatting and getting up are a problem is more because of my knees and sometimes the weakness a bit. TKE you were very fortunate to have such a great boss. Mine acts all understanding but then makes comments to the contrary. I'm not even asking for any time off, just not to work such long hours, but my boss isn't ever concerned about anyone else's problems but her own and the company's and she is ticking people off alot. I really do the best I can, but even if we bend over backwards there it isn't good enough for her. I like the place I work at, and most of the people, but my boss has changed, and is becoming unliked, and just the fact she cannot be very flexible in adapting just a little for me is really frustrating. Oh I'm venting again, sorry. I appreciate you "listening". Thank you. susi-di
  6. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    I had it over a year and it helped when I had to be out>linda
  7. Kryssie

    Kryssie New Member

    I am the safety director, right under the plant mgr. I printed out a fact sheet about fibro and left it in his chair with a post it note that said *I was diagnosed with this, please see me when you have time*
    He offered to lighten my load and asked if there was anything he could do at all and to let him know if I thought of anything. Really nice :)
    I love my company!
  8. johnston

    johnston New Member

    the conversations you have had, before you forget them. YOu want them as ver batim as possible. A court looks more favorably at written journals of events than your memory of situations...

    Also, sounds like those who had positive experiences are those who already worked closely with thier supervisors prior to the dx and had "relationships" established. If you really know someone, you are more likely to believe and support them.

    Those of us who were just in the "multitude" even if it was a small crowd. If we did not really know and have the supervisor know us, we were dead in the wind when it came to this dx and our physical health needs.

    Finally, face it: most supervisors in big business are there to make corporate happy. Their stress comes from meeting the needs of the company. You become a stress if you interfere with thier goals. Sad, but true.

  9. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Dear Susi-di,
    This must be so stressful for you. I hope it goes well.
    I was a teacher, and had already retired went I went back to teaching part time (I taught 30% of a contract, sharing with another teacher)and told the new principal that I might not be able to stay for faculty meetings (Ocassionally they would fall on a day I taught), if I was too sick. I said I would stay when I could, which I did.

    She didn't say anythng, but would repremand me after the fact. After a couple of years, both the other teacher and I went to another school.

    I didn't go through any kind of counseling.I wish I had. I would caution you to bone up on the Americans With Disabilities Act on your own, and to also look up any pertinent laws your state might have. It's beest to be prepared.

    Good luck.

  10. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    It is a very good idea to familiarize yourself with the disability laws. The other thing that you may want to consider is viewing some similar cases that were tried in your particular state to see how the laws have been interpreted.

    How did the courts interpret the law?
  11. Susi-di

    Susi-di New Member

    Thank you all so much for your advice, I really appreciate it. I do have a question... WHO should I bring to the meeting with me?? would my husband be okay, or someone not related? I have no idea. Anyway, thanks again all of you for taking time to reply and to battleweary for all those discrimination cases you copied. Susi-di
  12. leubie

    leubie New Member

    hey susi-di-----ive never had this experience w/ my boss---but ive never told him directly that i have fibro------if i have had to call in sick b/c of fibro or fibro pain-----ive never said the words fibro-----ive never said i in to much pain-----------one time i was having alot of dental probelms ( made worse by fibro)---------i had 90% of the work done on my off days and lunch --------took one personal day and one vacation ( dental probelms for 8/9 months and continuing!!!!( but under control for now))------------antways during that time--------my general manager sais something along the lines of cutting my hours due to pain-----which i never ever mentioned the word PAIN----------------told him i could not afford to loose the hours and certainly not my insurance--------he said something sarcastic---i said please dont cut my hours---------that why ive never said FIBROMYALGIA to him----------BUT i did talk w/ my union rep(not about fibro-----but what was said about dental)-----------the rep said dont worry,call him if that happens ,etc....-------ive always,ALWAYS, made a point of meeting w/ my union rep when he is in the store-----------our managers HATE that but....... sorry------------------anyways if you are in the union-------CALL YOUR REP---------IF NOT JOIN--------if its available-------they will have a lawyer that specializes w/ this and would LOVE to help you---------------if not contact a lawyer yourself----------we have to stand up for ourselves-------w/ doctors,family,work,lawyers and anyone else!!!!!!---sounds like i need to take my own advice-( i cant even say the word-----fibromyalgia to my boss!)--------oh well-----------i do wish you well----------please take care ---------please keep in touch------------LOVE TO ALL---------LAURA
  13. Susi-di

    Susi-di New Member

    Hi jenniflower, I'm so glad this thread helped give you some courage, that is great. And, how very lucky you are to have an understanding boss... hopefully it will make your work life easier to deal with. My boss is letting me sit as much as I can (she actually wanted me to LEAN on the chair, which has rollers, nope I'm sitting) which does help, but I still have pain and weakness problems. Standing seems to be much more difficult than walking but I still feel like my knees will give out.
    Anyway, you have rights since you have a disability, but I'm glad you won't have to fight for them, since you have a caring boss.
    I also noticed from your Bio that I am only 1 year younger than you, and my two kids are 23 & 25 years old, close to your kids ages... plus I also work in a Bank, I am a CSR Teller. I see you love cats... I love dogs, and they are my babies.
    So anyway, I'm very happy for you, and I hope things work out well for you. Take good care. Susan (susi-di)
  14. Susi-di

    Susi-di New Member

    Bump- bump
  15. Susi-di

    Susi-di New Member

    bump so you can read my reply jennflower
  16. Mini4Me

    Mini4Me New Member

    that I had FM and was unable to return to work after my summer break (I'm a second grade teacher), he just flatly said, "Oh, well you have to do what you have to do". Then he immediately got on the phone to my coworker to get her recommendation for someone to replace me. I know this because she called me not ten minutes after I talked to him.

    My how fast one can be replaced! Talk about not meaning a thing to him!! Not an "I'm sorry you are so sick, or we'll miss you, just ZIPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!

    Ouch, that hurt! (Still does)

    Sorry you're going through this.
    Hope it works out well for you.

    In my case, I was approved for state and social sec. disab. within 2 months.
  17. b~kay~b

    b~kay~b New Member

    Well I think you should do what Krissy did, print out a fact sheet. Go to the docs office and get the diagnosis in hand. Take a pad and pen with you. Go so far as a recorder. Take it from there. Like the info http://members.tripod.com/abarnabas/indexfibrsymptoms.html it takes 6 pages to print or go to the www.fms-help.com these were recommended by others on this site. Lets see ouch,jlh,kitten and i forgot who recommended the members one(sorry to that person)good details for those symptoms. Just let them know you are well prepared to fight. A lady i know worked with me, denied disabilty benefits while on medical leave they said it wasnt enough to disable her, she had a brain anurism(i know spelled wrong)NOT ENOUGH TO DISABLE HER?!!Well she let them have it after surgery,the insurance people didnt pay but the company we worked for sure did out of pocket! So fight Susi. Good luck!

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