I use to be a paitent person

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by maleficent4310, Nov 18, 2002.

  1. maleficent4310

    maleficent4310 New Member

    I am not sure what happened. I have always been the rock in the family. I was calm, patient, and did not let things get to me. I have noticed in the last few weeks though, my moods are anything but stable. I find myself lossing it over the dumbest stuff. Like this morning, all I wanted was my son to carry his own backpack to the car. Simple right? Not today. It was just to hevey he wined. A few weeks ago, I would have sat down and had a little chat with him about how important it is that he does things himself. He is getting too big for mommy to do some things for him. Not today. I got mad, grabed the back pack and through it in the car, buckled him in and told him now he would have to wait on me to get the stuff I needed to carry to the car. (of course the backback is never to hevey from the car to the classroom only from the front door to the car). I am finding he thinks I am mad at him alot, I keep telling him I'm not mad I just need him to help me with his stuff a little bit. I feel bad. I think I losses myself when the pain flares and or I am very tired. Does anyone eles have this problem. I would love a helpful tip in staying relaxed so I am not lossing my temper over the dumb stuff. Thanks.
    Lisa
  2. maleficent4310

    maleficent4310 New Member

    I am not sure what happened. I have always been the rock in the family. I was calm, patient, and did not let things get to me. I have noticed in the last few weeks though, my moods are anything but stable. I find myself lossing it over the dumbest stuff. Like this morning, all I wanted was my son to carry his own backpack to the car. Simple right? Not today. It was just to hevey he wined. A few weeks ago, I would have sat down and had a little chat with him about how important it is that he does things himself. He is getting too big for mommy to do some things for him. Not today. I got mad, grabed the back pack and through it in the car, buckled him in and told him now he would have to wait on me to get the stuff I needed to carry to the car. (of course the backback is never to hevey from the car to the classroom only from the front door to the car). I am finding he thinks I am mad at him alot, I keep telling him I'm not mad I just need him to help me with his stuff a little bit. I feel bad. I think I losses myself when the pain flares and or I am very tired. Does anyone eles have this problem. I would love a helpful tip in staying relaxed so I am not lossing my temper over the dumb stuff. Thanks.
    Lisa
  3. AnnetClo

    AnnetClo New Member

    My daughter-in-law and I were just talking about this very thing earlier today. But unlike you I have never been a patient person but now it is horrible. The least little thing makes me crazy and I'm yelling and throwing things. I even lose my temper with my cats and I NEVER EVER do that. It's a good thing my hubby is sooooo understanding or I just know a divorce would be in the making. Heck I know I wouldn't live with somebody that acted the way I do. I've been thinking about getting a punching bag. lol. Think it would help??

    (((((hugs)))))
    Annette
  4. joyof3

    joyof3 New Member

    I have the three kids 8,6,and 18 months. I love them so much ,but at times I to loose my temper. and yes more so with this DD. there are times thay do above and beond what a child should do to help mom. then there are times thy just want to be kids. it is so hard caring for kids with this DD just let him know you love him, and tell him how much you love his help when he gives it.I just wanted to say hi ,and hang in there.

    stephanie
  5. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    First of all...I can relate & empathise---I have days where it is so difficult to keep on an even keel! And I definitely have an impact on everyone around me...

    Secondly...oddly enough, while I was reading your post, the thing that got to me (and made me lose MY patience) was how heavy kids backpacks are these days!!! I apologize for going off on a tangent here, but the other day I moved my daughter's school backpack from the floor to a chair, and I was absolutely stunned at the weight of it. I read that kids backpacks should never weigh more than 20% of their body weight---my daughter's must have been at least twice that! What bothers me, is I fear we are raising a whole generation of people with severe & very early back problems....I'm trying to convince my daughter to carry a couple of books, rather than hang everything off her back---kind of distribute he load a little. Anyway, your son might have reason to whine---but then YOU shouldn't be carrying such a heavy load either!!

    Anyway, back to patience---I find my husband thinks what your son does, Lisa, that I'm mad at him, when really I'm so fatigued, I'm short tempered, but then I hardly have the patience or energy to explain, "it's not YOU...". So I'm trying to get better about both stopping & thinking before I snap---if I can---and also to explain when it's just a FibroDay, as I call it, so those around me at least get it that it's not THEM...

    Good luck with this, I think we all suffer from lack of patience (maybe it's a learned behavior it from all the inept health professionals we've dealt with... HA) but I think we all go through it...

    Take care & hope life is looking up for you,
    Pam
  6. kay

    kay New Member

    not a patient person any more. I cant even stand alot of camotion (SP) Now with the holidays coming and the get togethers, I need to start trying to be calm. Its so weird how it is now. I hate loud noise also. May-be its is age ha???
  7. Billie

    Billie New Member

    Dear Lisa,

    I like you used to be a very patient person. But have also noticed since becoming ill, a lack of patience with others. I sometimes don't even realize I am doing it. I have a 5 year old son and can relate to the frustrations of raising a child with this illness. When I find myself losing it I try to tell myself, this is not me, it is my illness right now. I then tell my son I am sorry for being so impatient. I notice I get that way when I am very fatigued and/or not feeling well. I even do it to my husband, but luckily he is very understanding about it, for the most part. I think it is just part of dealing with this illness. I don't have any helpful tips for you, other than try not to feel too guilty about it and just remember to apologize to those it affects. Good luck.....Billie
  8. maleficent4310

    maleficent4310 New Member

    Thank you all for your responses. I am finding one of the greatest things in the world is to know I am not alone or the only one with these problems. If nothing eles it takes away from the feeling that I am going crazy.

    My son (like Billie's) is five. I agree about the wieght of kids bags today though. I am 27, and I still remeber the wieght of a book bag. After my freshman year of high school, I stopped carrying one all together because it killed me to walk up the stairs with a 15lb bag on my back. I started carrying my books in my arms isted. Much easier. My son's bag is only a lunch box and a blanket though. He was just being whiny.

    We do have lots of talks though about how much mommy loves him and that he is what makes me the most special mommy ever because no other mommy has him for her very own. He loves that. I love him so much it hurts. I never in a millon years thought I could love anyone or anything as much as I love my son. I never wanted kids. The one time in my life I went with no birth control and there he was. (like they say, it only takes one time) Now he is my everything.

    My husband on the other hand, I am not sure he has the slightest idea how to handle me anymore. Just yesterday he told me I was yelling at him alot that day. I did not even realize it until he said something. I never used to snap about anything. Just happy go lucky. I snaped at him yesterday for the mild offense of cutting a pat of butter off my mesured stick for a cake. All I needed to do was open the fridge ans cut a small piece off, but for some reason I just had to let him know that made me mad.

    Anyway thank you for letting me vent once again. I needed that. I can always vent to my mother-in-law (I am so lucky to have her). She listens and understands, but she has many of her own problems to worry about too.
    Thanks again,
    Lisa
  9. klutzo

    klutzo New Member

    Before FMS, I NEVER remember getting angry, not ever. I was just like my mother....totally tolerant, understanding and non-judgemental. I was usually able to control it after getting FMS, until menopause, then all hell broke lose. Since then I have driven most people away, almost including my husband, and I deliberately isolate myself so I won't go off like a bomb around his relatives and friends and have it reflect on him.
    Because this has gotten so bad, I am seeing a specialist in PsychoNeuroEndocrinology this Thursday. My husband thinks it is all hormonal. All I know is that the chemical soup my brain is floating in seems to determine my personality...a very humbling experience.
    I'll let you all know if I learn anything new from this doctor.
    Klutzo

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