I don't know exactly how I got my courage up..but I calmly and exactingly told my husband that I would no longer take care of him as a wife would..because it is too painful..so he was responsible for his bedroom, bathroom laundry etc. I also told him what I was willing to do in the house..and with our money...and I told him that I expected him to have enough respect for me to not mess around with anyother woman till this marriage was over. And if I found out he was...the gloves were off and I would go after EVERYTHING he has. I feel so much stronger taking control of my life...and I think I took him totally by surprise...In the past I would be 'begging him to love me'...etc etc...But I am older and tougher and wiser this time. I am NOT going to beg... If he wants to change his mind...he will have to be the one that 'begs' me...and if he waits too long...it will be too late... The funny thing that happened...is that later on...he told me he would be fixing the curtain rod that fell down..and the dishwasher that I have been nagging him to take a look at for weeks. Maybe strength is power..and the ball is no longer just in his court.