I went back to work on Monday and I am "losing" it

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Kellyslaw, Apr 4, 2007.

  1. Kellyslaw

    Kellyslaw New Member

    I was hoping that maybe I could get some support from some of you dear friends.

    I went back to work on Monday 4/2 and today is Wednesday 4/4, and I have cried every day, at work and at home. I know that I am crashing again. When I left my classroom today at 3:00, I could barely move my neck and I barely made it to my car. My legs felt like lead. I hurt all over again. I thought I was in remission, but I am afraid I was wrong. I am so exhausted mentally and physically. I knew it was going to be hard going back after being off of work for 2 and a-half months.

    I have a new administrator who is really difficult to work for. She hired a long-term sub to take my class, and she allowed him to move my classroom around, change my schedule, change the student's textbooks and just about anything he wanted. He even implemented new procedures with my students. I teach 7th through 1I work with kids that have severe emotional and behavior disorders. My students do not do well with changes. The principal did not have him follow any of my lesson plans, in fact, she went so far as to allow him to stop doing what I had been doing with my class all year.

    When I returned on Monday, I did not even recognize my classroom. The worst part was, the principal and the sub literally packed up my personal items. I am so hurt. When I began looking for my favorite CD (Enya) that I play every morning when the students come into the classroom and write in their journals. I could not find it. I began looking for other items, and a lot of my personal items are gone. When I asked the Principal where my personal items were, she just smerked and told me she did not know. I am missing, CDs, computer games, grading materials, books and such. The sub did not leave me any notes or lesson plans. He also did not write any of the assignments in the grade book so I don't know what he had the students do.

    Unfortunately, the environment has been totally hostile except for a few dear co-workers who have told me that what the principal allowed the sub to do to my classroom and my stuff is just wrong.

    I am so sad. I don't think I am going to make it until the end of the year. My body is crashing and I can't stop crying. Any advice anyone can give me would help so much.

    Thanks for listening.

  2. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    I don't think there is any excuse for being so rude to you!

    And if I were you I would go to the principal and tell him how violated you feel!

    To smirk at you is immature and uncalled for....she sounds like he should be in the kindergarten classroom instead of the principals office!

    Maybe it is time for you to stop working.....if you are like me I know that may be hard......but honestly if you are that sick......why batter yourself?

    I used to work for the school district and most of them have a very good medical leave.......maybe you can go on another leave and in the meantime apply for long term disability!

    For whatever it is worth to you...........you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope you are feeling better..... I also hope some apologies are coming your way soon becsuse they are certainly deserved!

  3. Kellyslaw

    Kellyslaw New Member

    Dear doxygirl and Foggyfrog. Yes, the principal and the administrator are one and the same woman.

    I would try to talk to the sub myself, but unfortunately, while I was out, he went to a meeting at the house of a friend of mine. He did not know that she knew me and he was "trash talking" me to her. She called me and asked who Mr. so-and-so was? I told her he was the substitute hired to take my class while I was out and that I had never even met him. I don't have the energy to even try to contact him. Plus, I suspect that he is the one that took my stuff. I hope I don't sound too paranoid, but my gut is telling me that it will only come back to haunt me if I even try to talk to him.

    Again, thank you for your kind thoughts. I really just love you guys.

  4. dridlen1959

    dridlen1959 New Member

    So sorry you are having to go through this Kelly. Sometimes life just sucks.

    I hope it gets better for you soon.

    You are in my prayers.

  5. GigglePoet

    GigglePoet New Member

    Kelly, I am so sorry girl, don't we have wonderful friends here! listen, I have weeded through a lot of stuff with my illness over a long period and I think you very possibly are allergic ( brain allergy not rash or runny eyes etc but brain) this is what happens to me, I ache all over I become toxic the pain increases,I get dizy and confused and I cry... what is happening is that your body is being posioned. See if you can weed this out. I have enviromental illness, and I can't go into the schools because of cleaning chemicals, wax on the floors,Paper which has formaldahye,Paints, crayons, etc. Be a detective and watch your body and take note of what happens when and what you were exposed to. Many of us who have CFS and Fybro have MCS( multipal chemical sensitivities, I think this is why I have done so good and not had much of the pain so many have is because I identified these things and avoided them or removed them from enviroment.
    Much love and hugzzzzzzzz GigglePoet
  6. cindy2

    cindy2 New Member

    Hi Kelly, I am so sorry you are under such stress on your return to work.
    I myself have been out sick since last june, but the difference is my principal is a very understanding person.
    She knows how much I love my job and how being unfit to return is effecting me.
    I am just appalled at how you have been treated, as if the pressure of returning to work with this illness isn't hard enough for you.
    I think you are a very brave lady for trying to continue to teach threw all your pain and upset.
    Just remember you are a much better person than either of these two excuses for teaching professionals.

    Best regards

  7. Mousie929

    Mousie929 New Member

    I am so sorry to hear that you are having so much trouble! I just stopped working last summer. I also got to the point that I literally had to lift my legs to get out of bed and move around when I first got up. I also was so exhasted by the afternoon thaat I would hide behind a microscope and practically fall asleep! It's very hard to admit when it's time to step aside from full-time work. It's difficult mentally and monetarily. I received short term disability for three months but havee not been approved yet for Social Security Disability. Hopefully soon. If you decide to stick it out until the end of the school year just try to take it one day at a time, honestly! It's very difficult but knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel can help keep you going. Good luck! You will be in my prayers.

    Mousie 929

  8. momof471

    momof471 New Member

    I'm sorry what you are going through, it would have been hard enough to return to the normal without everything being changed around! I'm sorry this has happened to you, I also know about the he said she said stuff with the work environment. I learned rather quickly, to save myself stress, to confront the people directly and not place to much value on what other's say. People love gossip, friends or not. I would talk to the sub and find out what he did in the classroom and where your stuff is, that way you know what you have to do. You don't need the added stress and anxiety of the gossip, if you are going to do this, going back to work, you need to stand your ground, otherwise, you will be setting yourself up for them to ease you on out. Again I'm so sorry and I wish people weren't so mean and manipulative to do this to others.

    God Bless
  9. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    If so, I would say do that.

    If not, file an EEOC complaint.

    Even if you know that you will eventually quit, that'll help you regain your power and make the administration feel less comfortable on their high horse.
    [This Message was Edited on 04/05/2007]
  10. Jordane

    Jordane New Member

    Kelly that the school Principal is not showing you any respect,or understanding.I guess she never went to a workplace ethics semina.Or slept thru it.

    I hope and pray that it all works out for you.And that the principal & sub,have the spunk to apologize as to how they have treated you.That is the LEAST they should do.

    Prayers for you!!
  11. Kellyslaw

    Kellyslaw New Member

    for your understanding and sympathy. You will never know how much your kind words and advise has meant to me. I have read each of your posts and I find "kernals" of wisdom in each. I will hold your thoughts in my heart as I go through this journey.

    It is so strange how I just posted a short request and all of you wonderful people came to my aid. I am truly blessed to be able to ask for support and to receive such prompt and kind responses.

    Again, Thank you all so much,
  12. Ginner

    Ginner New Member

    Oh Kelly,

    They "obviously" do not understand this dd. But where the heck is their compassion? It takes such a special person to work in the field that you do.They must be over worked. Try not to take it personally. My feeling is that you will get an apology. If not ,you may just have to ask for one with your administration. You were just trying to get your health in check.

    Today, you have to take care of you.

    Can you just rest, go to bed. Ask for a better day tomorrow .

    You don't have to make a decision now. Take some deep breaths, to heck with the people who don't have a clue and do what you can for your self and the kids in your class.

    My tip - when I can't get out of a situation that is stressing me, I start saying the Lords Prayer to myself. It may be rude sometimes but people are rude sometimes and we have to take care of ourselves. I can't get stressed, period, paragraph.

    Bless your heart,
    Take care,

  13. joeb7th

    joeb7th New Member

    I "lost" my job one year ago. No disability or anything.

    But your situation is still so sad. Is there anyone you can lean on for support right now, a great friend or co-worker?

    This autoimmune thing is so much more affecting of our lives, isn't it?

    My prayers to you right now and in the next few weeks.
  14. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    I am so very sorry you are in this awful situation. I also work with special ed kids that are behavior-disordered, only the ones in my classroom are small (K-4th grade). I am the aide in the classroom, not the teacher, but I am very aware of the rewards of working with this population, but also the stresses and challenges, especially when you don't feel well.

    Last year, I had to abruptly take a medical leave due to being diagnosed with Leukemia; of course I couldn't give my principal any warning, and I was out 7 months. My principal couldn't have been more supportive, saving my job for me (they hired a long-term sub aide for me, with the understanding that when I returned, I'd get my job back, and that person could get another position within the school; technically, I didn't qualify for the safeguards the family leave act guarantees, because I worked only 30 hours a week then, and had summers off, and FMLA doesn't apply, my district said---so no definite job guarantees).

    I feel so sorry for you, because I experienced the opposite reaction; my principal, the teacher I worked with, and my co-workers all bent over backwards for me, and I know how much that meant to me. And my cancer has a 70% chance of relapsing within the next year, so it's not like I can give them a guarantee that I'll be there next month or next year, it's day by day for me. Right now, I'm healthy and in remission, but I never know....yet they were, and are, there for me.

    I will say a prayer for you, Kelly, I feel so bad for you, because I do truly know what it's like to work with special ed kids---as I said it's stressful for healthy people, let alone people dealing with daily fatigue and pain. It takes a special person to do that kind of job, they are lucky to have a dedicated person who has come back to the job, and it's so wrong to be treated as you were.

    Try to"hang in there", and I know that seems trite, but try to be there for your kids who need you and I'm sure, remember you and have missed you, and get past this awful time. I'm hoping as the days and weeks go by for you, it gets better. Vent here when you want, we DO understand and support you, Kelly.

    (((Gentle Hugs)))
    [This Message was Edited on 04/05/2007]
  15. shawnnaples

    shawnnaples New Member

    I had the same problem. I felt like everyone was starying at me. I have so much anxiety I can not do my work. I have never taken xanax at work but after two days of hell I did and it was so much better. I got calm begain concentrating on my work. I am trying not to let other people boher me. I call my husband about 1 every two hours just so I can hold it together. I thought the same thing that I felt so good from staying home but the problem is when you are home you can eat right, take meds right, relax whne its time, stress level down. So I do the same thing think I can jump in 100% and fail everytime. So this time I am doing it my way. If I do not get all my work done its okay, If I can not stay all day its okay. Its better to work my way in then try to proof to eveveryone I am better when we know we will never be 100% better. So good days do what we can and bad days find a differentway to run your day to make it work for you and the kids you teach. I am mentally trying to trick myself by doing things differnt just because if I do i the same way I am so scared everything will come back so much worst and I need my job. To hard to get disability and I love to work. anythingelse I can do you can email me direct robshawn1@earthlink.net
  16. i have fibro and chronic fatigue syndrome.i work just 16 hours a week,3.15 till 6.30 pm. evening cleaning in a school.

    when the kids break up for holidays,like they have broke up for 2 weeks easter holiday now...well in the holidays i have to go to work in the mornings,instead of the usual evenings.

    i had a severe body crash yesterday,with the swelling and stiffness.i couldnt even wash myself,but luckily i wasnt expected to go to work yesterday, as i had already pulled my hours into monday,tuesday and wednesday.we get that option now and again.

    so ive found that i must try to avoid working in the mornings,else im going to crash and burn badly.thats what ive found out about this condition,it wont let me function in the mornings,as it takes hours for my muscle stiffness to go away in order for me to be mobile.

    so id say to anyone who already has a job,,can you arrange to work in the later time frame of the day instead of early mornings? you may cope better.

    i still have the spine pain while at work,it never goes away,but i can cope with it, as its not so intense,like it is in the mornings.

    i took pain killers yesterday (anti inflamatorys)but they didnt touch the pain.i ended up having to go to bed for 3 hours,and rubbed biofreeze pain releaving gel on my lower back and ribcage.

    good luck

    kind regards fran

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