I WENT OFF ON A FRIEND

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by LEFTYGG, Nov 21, 2005.

  1. LEFTYGG

    LEFTYGG Member

    IT TAKES A LOT TO MAKE ME MAD BUT MY GOOD FRIEND MANAGED AND IM STII RESENTFUL AFTER 2 DAYS.
    SHE HAS FM TOO BUT MINE IS MORE SEVERE. I HAVE TROUBLE WALKING SLEEPING ETC. I TAKE BP MEDS THYROID MEDS AND ULTRACET.
    SHE SAYS IN A CONDESENDING TONE 'YOU ARE ON WAY TOO MANY PRESCRIPTION DRUGS.' I FLIPPED I SAID WHEN YOU BECOME A DR LET ME KNOW AND UNTIL YOU WALK IN MY SHOES DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
    SHE SAYS YOURE TAKING ME ALL WRONG. WHAT OTHER WAY WAS THERE TO TAKE IT.
    I NEVER TOOK SO MUCH AS AN ASPIRIN TILL I WAS OVER 40.

    IM STILL FUMING. SHES CALLED ME AND WEVE TALKED BUT ITLL TAKE AWHILE FOR ME TO GET OVER IT.

    I FEEL SHE THINKS SHES SUPERIOR CAUSE SHE DOESNT TAKE MEDS BUT THEN AGAIN I CANT RIDE ROLLER COASTERS DANCE AND CAMPOUT ON THE GROUND.THX FOR LISTENING.
  2. kch64

    kch64 New Member

    Hi. I just read your post. My best friend and I both have FM. Neither of us can take many meds without having side effects.

    I don't blame you for getting angry. No one should judge you for how many meds you take or don't take. FM is hard to treat and each of us has to be handled differently.

    I hope you can patch things up with your friend. There may come a time in the future when she gets worse. She'll understand more of what your experiencing if that happens. But she shouldn't make you feel like you're wrong for taking meds.

    Hang in there.
  3. Dee50

    Dee50 New Member

    I'm so sorry this happened with your best friend.

    Oh how we need our friends and how it hurts when they don't understand.

    I'm like you I have to have meds or I can go back into my coma sleeping patteren and let live pass me by. My body will balance my pain with a higher level of fatigue and than I go down. Without the meds. I'm only explaining this to you because I think you can understand what I'm saying.

    My pain meds right now are helping me to be alive yes I have one big problem with useing them and its not what folks might say its that my colon does not want to do its job because of the constipation side effects of my meds.

    I'm sharing this with you because I know that your friend doesn't understand that yes we need meds but that the meds don't fix us but they do make it so we can have some sort of life.

    Your friend can't begin to understand the trade offs we deal with because we need the meds. and lets hope she never finds out what its like to not be able to live without them and the problems we must deal with cause of the side effects of them.

    As sick as I'm today I don't know what I would say if someone said that to me but I do know that I am fighting for my life and that I love being alive and I'm thankfull to be here and be able to share with you.

    Take care and God Bless you,
    Dee50
  4. XKathiX

    XKathiX New Member

    If her attitude is fear. Maybe because you are worse than her, she is getting afraid that she will end up just as bad?

    Just a thought......
  5. elsa

    elsa New Member



    Some people are just like that. The first example that comes to mind is the ex-smoker who now rails on anyone still puffing away and apparently too weak minded to put the things down. ... After all, it wasn't difficult ... I did it in a snap.

    Those are not my words or feelings! Just an example of how smug some folks can be!

    Your friend needs to be reminded that what works for one FM patient will not work for the FM patient standing next to them. If it were that easy, MD's wouldn't be pulling their hair out over treating us.

    She needs to be oh so careful about what see says ... another wonderful aspect of FM is that it can come roaring back with a vengence. Where is her smugness going to leave her when she can't crawl out of the bed?

    The true trick will be for you to let go of her previously obnoxious behavior and find a way to support her when her illness does flare ... and it will ... there is no cure as yet.

    If you have already made it clear what she did was wrong ... then I would let it go. Nothing points out the error of one's ways then by not being allowed to defend, explain, cajole, etc their point of veiw until you are too rung out to deal with it anymore.

    I don't know if that one made sense to you, but I have found polite, but distant .... "we don't need to go over this again ... you understand how your actions hurt me ...

    When she gets it and apologizes then you both can hopefully move on to better things.

    Anyway ... I'm sorry you had to listen to her words ... it takes all kinds in this world. It seems she falls under the "I'm superior to many of the weak ones". Also, too many preach about their route to remission as the only way. I try real hard to not go there with my own words. What works for one is fabulous ... but may not work for the next patient.

    Keep your chin up. Do your own research ... be comfortable with your treatment plan ... look her dead in the eye and say "thanks so much" and don't say anything else. It'll drive her nuts!

    Take care,

    Elsa

  6. LEFTYGG

    LEFTYGG Member

    I KNEW I COULD COME HERE FOR SUPPORT AND GOOD ADVICE. YOU ALL MAKE GOOD SENSE AND HAVE WALKED IN MY SHOES. SHE SAYS HER DR SAID SHE HAS FM BUT ITS NOTHING


    HERS IS AN INJURY FROM A CAR ACCIDENT. I JUST THINK WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. MY PAIN THRESHOLD WAS HIGH TILL THIS. I HAD BABIES WITH NOTHING. SO IM NO WIMP.

    IM TOO SENSIOTIVE I KNOW. AT LEAST MY HUSBAND IS SUPPORTIVE.

    THX YOU SO MUCH YOU MADE ME FEEL BETTER.

    LOVE GAIL THX FOR THE HUGS TOO
  7. LEFTYGG

    LEFTYGG Member

    THATS EXACTLY HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS. I FEEL VERY TENSE WHEN WE TALK. LIKE I NEED TO COUNTER WHATEVER SHE SAYS. THX FOR YOUR INPUT.