I Would Like To Shove My Hubby's Head Down Toilet-Venting!!!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by JLH, Jul 29, 2005.

  1. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I am angry at my hubby and would like to shove his head down the toilet right now!!!! LOL

    We have 1-1/2 bathrooms in our house.

    In the half bath, which is small, thank goodness!!, the toilet overflowed yesterday. He said I put too much paper in it. I confess, it was true!! But what can I say???? I love the feel of s-o-f-t-n-e-s-s!!!!! LOL

    I tried to unstop it before he got home from work so I didn't hear his blah! blah! blah! blah!!!!!!! No luck.

    So when he tried, he was too rough with the plunger and the water in the bowl overflowed ON THE FLOOR! YUCK! YICK! YUCK! OMG, I just hate messes!!!!!!!!

    He through the throw rugs outside (for me to take care of later, at my convenience!) and said he wiped up most of the water.

    When I inspected his "work" later, he got 2 "thumbs down" from me! I asked him if he could clean the toilet, all around the base, and "really" the floor -- all with disinfectent stuff, and I would do the rest.

    Before he got a chance to answer, I of course, reminded him of my pinched nerve in my back that affected by leg, and what horrible pain I was in, and it was hard on my arms and shoulders doing that type of work, let alone getting down on my one bad knee -- OK, OK he finally said he'd do it.

    But he didn't!! So, I had to end up doing it today by myself. I felt like crap before I started cleaning, and feel even worse now.

    He did take the dirty plunger outside, but of course, hasn't cleaned it yet.

    See, he's another one of "those" husbands!!! I'm retired and home all day - with plenty of time, and I do nothing - while he just turned 60, and is an "old man" now, his job is killing him with stress, and his arthritis is killing him, too - poor baby, so I should baby him and take care of him.

    W-r-o-n-g!!! I can't take care of myself!! I'm in horrible pain each day, can't stand up or walk for very long, and have been staying in bed until noon or 1:00 pm each day. I try to work a little through my 3 hours of soap operas (from 1 - 4), so what does he expect!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

    Seriously, I am NOT ABLE TO DO ANYTHING. I have so much wrong with me, and this latest pinched nerve has just been the icing on the cake. I can't take much more.

    I just wrote this little "short story" TO VENT and gripe about my husband!!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks for listening!! LOL

    jlh
  2. Mamalovinit

    Mamalovinit New Member

    I tell my dh we should get rid of everything and have windows or doors at each end of the house. Then we need a big water hose and just wash ever thing down. In one window and out the other. No more work.
    M
  3. CFIDSNicole

    CFIDSNicole New Member

    Yuck! I hate bathroom messes--they really gross me out. My husband and are in a constant silent battle over cleaning the bathroom. I get sick of doing it all the time, and it is extremely exhausting, so I decide--That's it. It's HIS turn. And, I wait.

    And wait. And wait.

    He can usually wait me out because apparently he doesn't get grossed out by a dirty bathroom. And, when he does clean it, he does a lousy job and I end up cleaning up after him.

    I'm sorry your hubby was being a pain (literally) to you. I'm so sorry you had to do all that work yourself.

    Take car,e
    Nicole
  4. splooofy

    splooofy New Member

    I got my husband where it hurts. In the pocket book. I hired a housekeeper after I tried to get him to help me clean the bathroom. I am tired of cleaning the floor everytime he pee's and misses the toilet. He wouldn't help clean up the mess and do weekly cleaning of the bathroom, so one day I had enough and found me a housekeeper. Now I make him pay 60.00 a week to have the bathroom and the rest of the house done.
    Splooofy
  5. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I do have a suggestion for the toilet. I have one which is a slow flusher. When I use it, I flush once before wiping and then flush again when I'm through wiping. That way, there isn't too much for it to handle all at once.

    Hope you and Hubby get things worked out. BTW, those premoistened wipes are wonderful. They are flushable, but again, I would flush them separately.

    Love, Mikie
  6. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    go from having total empathy with mine to wanting to just pack up and leave. Fortunately or not I have no where to go. So I just keep keeping on.

    I don't think they even SEE what we do. Mine is color blind big time, so he can't even see when I'm flushed or pale, so he can rarely tell when I'm
    feeling lousy from outward signs. He also can't see alot of things on the
    stone design flooring we have. BUT I have watched him step OVER say a piece of paper time and again rather than pick it up.

    He is awful about bills, always has been, so I find unopened bills stashed all over the place, from the kitchen to the bathroom. When I can I
    gather it all up and put it all on his tv tray or in a plastic bag..which he either bags or puts in
    a pile of other bags. Just drives me
    wild. The man has NEVER "worried" about anything like that, so it's all I DO is worry.

    My mother in law and sister in law have always blamed ME for not taking
    over the bills etc, but even before the FM I've always had trouble with
    math and reversing numbers. I am NOT a bookkeeper and would make a mess of it, especially now with the cognitive
    issues.

    I did take it on once when he got everything straight for once, and all we had were fights over how much money he "should" have in his pocket.
    Yet for years I was in pretty good shape if I had $5 on me. When our daughter was small she'd grab a dollar or two from his pocket and would bring it to me and say "Now you keep this mommy!" I couldn't get angry with her..she was smarter than I was really.

    Now he has Diabetes 2, Arthritis and a genetic deformity in the base of his spine..all causing him pain also.
    Most days he is better than I am though as far as strength, can DO things with half the effort it takes
    me. And at work all week he's Mr. Efficient..gets multi million dollar
    projects done on time and runs a crew. Go figure. Sort of like some women who leave home with self and purse perfect, but back at home it's a pig sty.

    His whole life is chaos from his bills, to his home, to his car and
    work truck, to his diet for the Diabetes..not one area of his life is
    ever in order, except his job. I never understand that!!

    So I won't go on and on, he does do a lot around the house and cooking etc,
    for which I am grateful, but it's the
    half done things that drive me to the brink. I feel for you anyway, and you are DEFINITELY are not alone, Men ARE from Mars!
  7. tansyone

    tansyone New Member

    Try having to clean the floor when someones cathether leaks and was too full to begin with. He did not have that full sensation after the double amputation (diabetes).
    I am 50 so my *old man* would have been 65 last March.
    He passed 12 days before my 37th birthday.
    Sarah and I miss you and love you honey...messes and all...
  8. ilovecats94

    ilovecats94 New Member

    jih,
    Boy, can I relate to your post. lol Luckily we haven't had a toilet to go over in a long time, but I have been close. So much fun plunging the things on and on until the water goes down and you know it is safe to flush again.

    I basically use the American Standard toilet up here in the master bathroom as that is much easier to unclog.

    We have 2 1/2 bathrooms, but my one son who lives here pretty well uses one full hall bathroom and no one wants to go into there. lol

    Sorry you had to do the dirty work here.

    Our main problem here is we have to buy water saver toilets and they give us a lot of problems.

    My hubby is 4 years younger than I am and you would think he was 20 years older sometimes. :\(

    I'm so lucky to have a cleaning girl who comes every other week. Hubby used to be the one to clean the bathrooms and I did the rest of the house and the kitchen. This was prior to FM.

    Splooofy,
    I can't afford clean girl every week, but hubby will pee on the carpet that is around the toilets. So I have to wash them. :(

    Mikie,
    That is usually what I do. Flush then wipe and flush again. Then I use baby wipes to make sure I'm really clean. Even with that will sometimes have stop up problems.

    Hugs,
    Faye
    [This Message was Edited on 07/30/2005]
  9. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    ...that is, you shoving hubby's head down the toilet...

    I'm sorry this happened to you, though, nobody need this kind of a day!

    And, regarding Mikie's suggestion...we call that the "double flush" at our house & we are big proponents of it---saves on hauling out the ol' plunger, & a lot of soggy tile/rugs!

    Hope things are better now...

    Pam
  10. loriofwindsor

    loriofwindsor New Member

    Hey Nancy, you mentioned how you and your husband are now more like roommates...that is exactly what happend to me. For years my husband has avoided me. He would come home from work late and then get on the computer when he got home. In April he announce he was filing for divorce. That was out of the blue but I don't think he has ever really loved me. Our whole 16 year marriage he has found other things to do rather than spend time with me. Then he blamed me when I didn't want to have sex. See I wanted a relationship and just wanted someone to have sex with. At first I was in shock and felt so bad but now I am ready for him to be gone. He still lives in the family home and that is not good for me or the kids. He takes even more advantage of me now and I can't wait for the divorce to be final.

    Sorry to be such a bummer but I never thought this would happen to me. My husband seemed so supportive but really he was gathering information to try to gain full custody of our children. He embelished the truth (read 'he lied') in the court papers to try to get custody and he will have to suffer the consequences of those lies now. We go to court in August.

    Anyway...no more cleaning up his dirty bathroom!!!
    Lori
  11. elsa

    elsa New Member



    I'm sorry for the built up anger!! I have to say tho., every time I scroll across your post title I either laugh totally out loud, or at least give a hearty chuckle.


    I even stole your phrase for someone in another post as they weren't feeling great.( I gave you partial credit...didn't remember your name...just that a recent poster said this...LOL )

    It is just soooo true sometimes !!

    I hope things are working out and that you feel better...........

    Elsa
  12. Dee50

    Dee50 New Member

    You said you like the softness. I switched from paper tp to soft cloth wipes. I wash them and reuse them. So so soft! I love them. I just though I'd share that. I use shepa wipes that are about 7 x 7 inches. I have single and double layer wipes. And I never run out! I would never go back to using paper products they are to rough!
    Take care,
    Dee 50
  13. cma331

    cma331 New Member


    I hear what you all have to say......

    and, yes, it is frustrating and annoying.

    Buy when you lose that Hubby, you would give anything to clean the toilet, after him........Instead of the grief and lonliness.

    Treasure those guys if you love them; w/o them life changes.

    Hugs, Carole
  14. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    I live in the boonies, have a septic system, you do not flush large amounts of toilet tissue around here :)

    I would suggest you buy Scott toilet paper, it actually disintegrates as soon as the water hits it, granted, its not as soft and cuddly as the fancy brands, but it sure beats cleaning up an overflowing toilet!

    I use the Scott, then the baby wipes (which go into the trash can, not the toilet!). Works perfectly. The 'two flush' system works well too :)

    As for an shoving the hubby's head down the toilet, if yours is big enough you can flush my hubby's head too, I am mad as a hornet at him these days, and its not from the toilet cleaning. He cleans his bathroom, and I clean mine.

    He is not ALLOWED in my bathroom!!! I do not want my rug or my toilet cover smelling like pee either.

    As for as that smelling, I call that; 'selective smelling', they smell what they want and pass on what they don't want to 'smell', its like hearing, works the same with most men!

    Sorry to insult you nice, clean guys around here, but to be honest you all are 'far and few inbetween' when it comes to men!


    Shalom, Shirl



  15. lazygrant

    lazygrant New Member

    don't do that! i just lost my hubbie of 24 yrs. in april to a water borne ecoli infection he got while fly fishing. he done some pretty stupid things during our years too. but most importantly my husband loved me. he loved me unconditionally, how many marraiges can truly have that. i miss him terribly. so, just make lite of the situation and tell your husband that you love him anyways!


  16. matthewson

    matthewson New Member

    OMG I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants! Hoobert, you don't seem to get it! We really love our husbands. We just feel the need to vent once and awhile, just as you felt the need to vent with your response!

    Really girls, I wouldn't take his post seriously! I found it a hoot!

    Take care, Sally

    P.S. Please, please don't get rid of Hoobert! He is really a nice guy just having a bad day. Read his posts. He has a wife with FMS and he knows what it is like for us. C'mon lets keep him!
    [This Message was Edited on 08/01/2005]
  17. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I am glad you alerted Tech Support. This may be the same guy who was here the other night. His last response is very similar. Please, always alert someone when something like this happens. Thank you.

    Love, Mikie
  18. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    A toilet seat should always be in the down position. Water drains are a threat to wealth. If a toilet seat is left up, all one's money can go down the drain.

    I have Feng Shuied my condo. Many who do this swear by the results.

    Love, Mikie
  19. gabdeb

    gabdeb New Member

    how come your profile says no such user? just wondering.
  20. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    Our motto at our house is flush as you go!!