Iam new and my dad has Fibromyalgia

Hello,
My dad has fibromyaliga. We found that about 1 year ago. I would like to come on here to find more about what my dad is dealing with. I dont live there with him. So i dont see him 27/7. I wish I could. But the days I do see him. I cant stand to look at him. He is really bad. I feel like I lost my dad. I have studied about fibromalgia with my mom to get a better view of it. But it does not help. I hate what this has done to my dad. I have four kids. So before my dad got this really bad he used to play with them all the time . Now he cant. When ever somebody ask me how my dad is doing I say he is still not good. I wish I could say great working in the yard like always. But I cant. Iam so lost.I wish I could make my dad feel all better.But I cant. As I write this Iam crying. Because I dont know what to do. But I do know there is nothing I can do But be there for him. I love my dad with all my heart. Thank you for letting me get this out. I hope to talk to some of you so I could hear everything will be alright. Thank you agian. (froogy)

I'm so sorry about your dad. Your are doing what is right by finding out everything you can about this DD and just believe in him and listen to him. There may be days he will feel like doing things with your kids but he will have to rest a lot too. My prayers are with you and your father and the rest of the family.LOL DGH

First off, welcome to our board. It is great here and you've come to the right place to get support for your father and to learn more about FM. I am 24 years old and a single mom of a wonderful son. I was diagnosed with FM in June of 2000. I have had it since i was 15. It is a very painful thing to have. The best thing you can do is learn as much as you can about FM. I wish your father good health.
If you ever need to talk my email is in my bio.

KristyW

Hi. My name is judi, First is your Dad seeing a doctor regularly? If so do you know what kind of medicine he is on? if he is going to a Reumy then he sould be getting some good help. This DD does change ones life so much & I don`t know about others but there are days that I don`t like my self & just stay away from everyone. I also have sleep apnea, so that cheats me out of getting to have my grandkids here, that breaks my heart, I try to understand my son, I wouldn`t drive with them, but to be able to play with my grand kids helps me when I feel good. Please if you have kids don`t take them away from him when he has a good day & would like to have some time with them. Just talk to him, don`t be afraid to talk to him about how he feels, is there something he needs you to understand.
There are so many things we don`t like or understand ourselves, There are days that I think Oh this is going to be a good day, then about an hour later it is all different.
I will be praying for you, your Dad & family, if it wasn`t for God I couldn`t face another day. He carries me through each day.
God Bless You,
Judi
[This Message was Edited on 05/09/2003]

Welcome Froggy

A good book to get is "what your doctor doesn't know about nutritional medicine may be killing you" by Dr. Strand. It is an excellent book about fibro and treatment. I have had fibro for several years and am now following the info in the book. Tell you dad about the chat room here and maybe he will visit. Just understanding that your Dad has no control over this illness and being there for him will help immensely. A supportive person can mean the world to people with fibro.

Best wishes
Jee

Hi

If your dad's situation is so hard on you, how do you think he feels? When it bothers you that he can't work in the yard anymore or play with the grandchildren, you can only imagine how much it bothers him. I have to think it must be harder on men in that way because he is supposed to be the strong daddy who makes everything OK and he can't fix this.
The most important thing you can do is understand that he doesn't do these things because he doesn't want to but because he CAN'T. Knowing that you KNOW that will help him alot. We often feel like failures when we let our family and friends down.
My best to you all....................

It's great that you found this board to help you understand. Says a lot for the compassionate person you are and I commend you.

Does your dad also have the extreme exhaustion of CFS? In addition to the pain he must endure, you might want to consider asking with him whether he has a "better" time of day to enjoy the kids. I love to see my grandkids, but for me it is important that our visits be fairly early in the day because after 2 or 3:00 I'm totally wiped out and not able to enjoy their visit. And visits of a few hours are much easier and enjoyable than an all-day affair. After a few hours I find it hard to concentrate on multi-conversations, and sitting too long or trying to stay upright to play with them becomes painful and I need to lay down. Finding a good balance of time-limits is important to me so that I can have the pleasure of enjoying our time together and they don't have to put up with a "grouchy grandma".

I hope you often find comfort and help here. Bless you for caring about your Dad.

Thank you everyone for your responses. Yes my dad does feel better when he plays with my kids.And also me and my dad talk about this all the time. We are very close.That is why I worry so much for him. Thank you agian. (froggy)

Welcome to the board. I have had fibro since 1990 and it is no picnic. The pain from this is unbelievable. All I can say is be as supportive as you can. I am sure this is no fun for your dad. I can't do many things that I use to do and it does take away some of your self esteem. I am very fortunate to have a very supporting husband. Your dad will have good days as well as bad and cherish those days when he is on the good side. Learning as much as you can about this disease is the best thing that you can do.
Good luck to you and your dad. Fran