Ideas on coping with severe stress?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by CinCA, Dec 5, 2005.

  1. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    We are getting ready to put our house on the market (after living here almost 8 years and completely renovating it, mostly ourselves) and moving 100 miles away for a job change for hubby. It's a fantastic opportunity, and we'll hopefully be able to buy land and build a home in a few years (when all the approvals are done). In the meantime, we'll be renting something (haven't found it yet). The town we will be able to move into is a fantastic, small community, and this should be a very good move on many levels.

    But the stress of all of this is tearing me apart. Doesn't help we technically still can't tell anyone, nor can hubby give notice/have an end/start date with work, due to some confidentiality things that may take another week or more to sort out. I also have a 4 y.o. daughter who was dx'd with high-functioning autism a year ago. While she is doing so much better I doubt she'd still be "on the spectrum", she still is a VERY high-maintenance kid who would wear out even a healthy mom (I have CFS). And of course throw in all the demands of the holiday season (despite our keeping Xmas very small this year).

    I'm doing the best I can, but my head is spinning just juggling the contractors we've had to hire to get our house ready to sell (new roof, new paint, etc.). This also is the first house I've ever owned myself, the one our daughter was basically born in, and we have the whole "we did it ourselves" thing, so there is a lot of sentimental/"loss" stuff (plus we have awesome neighbors who I'll miss). Everything has happened so fast (a few weeks), and I have had so much stress in my life in recent years I am really gun-shy about any sort of change.

    Is there any way I can cope better with this? I have to shoulder a lot of this myself, including the likelihood of playing single mom 5 days a week when hubby goes up there to start work and me and my daughter stay here, potentially 'til our house sells. I am sleeping awful (nothing new) and even wake up completly on edge.

    BTW, I've tried counseling in the past and it doesn't help me, and I am extremely sensitive to just about any pharmaceutical these days. Homeopathy and some natural supplements help best, although I can't even remember to take them half of the time. Just any way to deal with the very high level of stress would be helpful!

    Thanks so much.
  2. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    It's nice to know I'm not the only one going through this. The not telling anyone isn't the worst part...hubby and I have both broken down and told a few people, like our neighbors. It's not like it would be fair to them to bam!...have our house go up for sale after we were just saying we weren't planning to move for a very long time.

    Honestly, just the fear of the unknown and the reality of having to pack and uproot everything is really hard. While there is a lot I don't like about where I live, at least it's familiar and it is convenient. I have a good local doctor, finally found a woman to help with my hair (it's growing in so thick after a bunch fell out a few years back when I had food poisoning), you know, that sort of stuff. And I just know where everything is. This is scary to think about, because I used to be so good at directions but now have a lot of trouble, and I'll be starting new with everything.

    I know it will work out, but I guess in the back of my mind I keep wondering if my body will just give out and if I'll collapse or something from all the stress. I've had some really bad meltdowns/crying spells lately, and I haven't cried like that (or really cried at all) in a very long time. I also find it very hard to be patient with my daughter. I snap at her a lot, and it makes me really sad (although she in turn is testing me...big time...every day). I'm sure she is having a hard time, too, and I do love her so much.

    Thanks much, and I hope the job change has worked out well in your life and hubby's, too.
    C.
  3. sunshine8957

    sunshine8957 New Member

    I have found that giving your worries/problems over to God can release an awful lot of stress that you are going through.

    Worrying and stressing out over a situation you cannot control, does not help in any form or fashion.

    An example of my logic is how I truely felt when we were literally running for our lives to avoid Hurricane Katrina.
    My son had gotten married the Saturday before the MANDATORY evacuation was announced. If it weren't for my Sister in law calling the house just after 5 a.m., I shutter to think how late we would have slept after going to bed at 1:30.

    My husband had to literally drag my father-in-law or face being put into the back of his truck! I drove my car with my Bichon and my youger son took his truck. We had no idea where we were going to end up, but knew we had to go east and then turn North. (We live on the outskirts of New Orleans).

    The whole time I was in the car driving, I just kept repeating that God was my driver and he would make sure we landed someplace safe. We did.

    Knowing God is your steering wheel in life and bring so much comfort and relieve the stress.

    We were very fortunate to only have gotten 6" of water in our house. God can make a way, when you don't believe there is no way.

    If you can find/make time, pull out your Bible and read through the new Testament, then work on reading the old Testament. You just may find the peace of mind you are looking for!

    God Bless!
  4. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Here, had it not been for my faith I would not have made the storm and a personal 'storm' I had going myself, had it not been for my faith and my Bible!

    I rode Katrina out here with my daughter and my dogs, without my faith I would be totally nuts.

    Sunshine if you are from N.O., then you know how bad it was in Chalmette, St. Bernard La. too, both my son and my 19 year old grandson spent 6 long, long days in that water there, swimming and grabing on to things to stay above the waters. We did not hear from them for two weeks, we did not know if they were alive or dead. We had no communications at all from anyone. It was one of the worst horrors I have ever lived through, not knowing about my two Tommy's. Only God saved my sanity. I still cry thinking about those long dark days.

    As it turned out, they were evacuated to Tennessee, a Baptist church family gave them a house to live in, food, and gave my grandson a jeep! What wonderful Christians they were sent too.

    They got to my house three weeks after the storm. I almost fainted when I saw them come up the driveway. I knew the other son and granddaughter were fine the next day, somehow my granddaughter and her boyfriend got here with all those trees and wires down on the roads, still don't know how those kids got through all that mess to let me know her and her father were alright, they were in Mississippi. But the other two I could not find out anything about for weeks.

    They lost everything in Chalmette, but God spared all their lives, I never stopped praying for them, and believing they would make it, and they did. Even the dog was safe too.

    So Cinca, take Sunshine's advice, start praying, and keep praying for that peace that passes understanding and you will be fine.

    Take care, and do things slowly, that way you will not tired yourself out, and get more done.


    Shalom, Shirl