Im 30 my partner is very sick, I need someone to talk to thanks

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by jiminma1981, Aug 14, 2011.

  1. jiminma1981

    jiminma1981 New Member

    4 months ago we were having a some what of a normal life, I mean this time last year we were in Maine canoeing drinking around Bon fires just living life until he started to feel more and more tired lost alot of weight I mean alot, I mean he gets up to go the bathroom he's out of breath.we have been to doctor after doctor finally we get the answer he has lymphoma of the lung, Now he or should I say we have been in bed unless we have to go to the doctors i spend every minute i can with him, can't stand thinking that this might be our Last summer but im praying for for him to beat this cause if he don't I dont know what I'd do, don't even know if I could deal with this, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.

    Ps I luv you jack so much and you will always be apart of me good or bad, I'll always be there for you


    I just Need people to talk to thanks , James
    <br><br>[<i>This Message was Edited on 08/14/2011</i>]
    <br><br>[<i>This Message was Edited on 08/14/2011</i>]
    <br><br>[<i>This Message was Edited on 08/14/2011</i>]
    [This Message was Edited on 08/14/2011]
  2. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    I'm sorry to hear what is happening. So many times the caregivers are giving 200% when their partner is so ill and there is question if the partner will make it through. I hope that you will look for counseling for you to not only help your partner through this difficult time, but to prepare you and your partner should it become your last summer together. This is an extremely tough time for both of you.

    Now is also the time to get the Will/Estate documents, advance directives, any DO NOT RESCUITATE prepared and signed if they have not been already as well as directives on what are to done with your partner when he does pass --I'm sorry if it sounds callous, but it must be brought up now. I'm hoping you two already had all this done.

    Are there any family on your partner's side that will be difficult or want things their way and if so, counseling may help with that also. Family can sometimes be brutal and I speak from experience.

    I went through a particularly difficult time when my Dad was in assisted living and my brother would not allow him to change his status to hospice and that would mean my Dad would give up all the pills and be allowed to head towards passing on as he was terminal. Hospice would mean my Dad would have pain meds, but also massages, music therapy, regular visits by the minister he wanted, they put in a phone that had amplified hearing so that his refusal to get hearing aids still allowed him to hear my frequent calls and there was so much more done to make Dad happy and comfortable. After a highly emotional phone call to my brother explaining that Dad was not getting better on all the pills, Dad's appetite was falling and at his advanced age, he wanted to stop taking all the pills, he was terminal, and Dad is competent and wants to be allowed to begin on the path to passing. My brother agreed, but it took me getting very upset to get my brother to contact the place and implement Dad going into hospice.

    Please see if there are any Caregiver groups meeting in your area and if so, try to go to the meetings. You'll pick up resources and get support during this time too. Review this site and look at the resources throughout. I hope there are some things here that can help you.

    My prayers go with you and your partner. James, many many hugs to you.



  3. jiminma1981

    jiminma1981 New Member

    I'm sorry to hear about your father. I just don't know what to do I cry all the time I feel literally sick he's been with me for along time nd I can't imagine my life without him if he don't make it I won't make it there is just no way I could live without him I have been with him 24/7 for 3 months, this is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with in my life and I'm praying that everything turns out good. But thank you for your support and I look forward to talking with you again and I'd there are any support groups I am in the Boston ma area.

    Thanks again and best wishes, James
  4. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    It's very hard to have someone you care about so much with a difficult illness. Counseling can help you learn to be strong for yourself and them--and not be frozen with fear--and help your partner through an illness that may be scary and difficult for them.

    Positive thinking is what I wish for you and your partner right now.

    Below are some sites for you to start looking at. I read that lymphoma of the lung is divided into Hodgkins or Non-Hodgkins. I suggest to start researching and going with your partner to the doctor visits to find out exactly the full diagnosis and the treatment as that can provide you with facts and relieve some of the worry about "what if." Below are some sites just to inform you for when you go to the doctors and may help you. Again, good luck and hugs to you and your partner.


    Hodgkin's Disease specific:


    http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types…


    Non-Hodgkin's specific:


    http://www.nci.nih.gov/cancerinfo/types/…


    Message boards for both N-HL and HD:


    http://www.lymphoma.com/


    The LLS: http://www.leukemia.org/hm_lls


    Lymphoma Information Network: http://www.lymphomainfo.net/


    ACS: http://www.cancer.org/docroot/nws/conten…


    [This Message was Edited on 08/15/2011]
  5. FMPartnerColorado

    FMPartnerColorado New Member

    James, your letter touched me deeply. I admire you for wanting to spend as much time together as possible. As time passes, you may find you need to get away. Please understand that this does not make you a horrible person. It sometimes helps you "sharpen the axe" and makes you more effective as a caregiver.

    I hope your friends are supportive. My partner of 11 years has Fibromyalgia. When our friends first began to see changes in him, they assumed it was HIV. When we assured them it was not, they were elated. But, they didn't really do anything to understand the process and how they could help.

    James, know that you and your partner are on my heart.

    Rick