Maybe not today, but too soon. My kids are 10 and 14 and I am just so sick. Personally, I am not afraid of death. I'm afraid of leaving them w/o me. It breaks my heart. Some background... I've been on and off here for about5 years. I was diagnosed with Celiac 13 years ago, Thyroiditis in 2003, then Adrenal insuffiency in 2005 and in 2006 FM and Sjogren's at the same time. I was in a very stressful, horrible marriage. (Which probably triggered everything) Looking at my entire family history, we have Juvenille Diabetes, so it was a factor. But I've also had stress my whole life. Alcoholic Mom, sperated parents, close family members moving away, dying,being moved against my will, my own parents dying young, finding a roomate hung in our bathroom, I was raped once, the alcoholic spouse and bad marriage...and so on. I know that stress triggers these auto immune diseases. Do I have my share or what? Anyway, life turned around 4 years ago when I took my kids and left the bad marriage. I suddenly got energy and started to mend. Then I met my wonderful fiance. He is very supportive and keeps me calm and smiling. My health really improved when he came along. Everyone noticed and I felt it. But in spite of my wonderful partner, I am still thrown into illness by other stresses. A bad work experience, a friendship gone sour, someone rear-ending me while driving and my kids having medical issues this year which cost a lot of money and caused a lot of worry. Plus they both have IEPs at school which need constant monitoring. Okay, what does this have to do with dying? Well, since last fall when I was thrown into a relapse of symptoms I have been barely able to recover before something else throws me off. In June my abdomen swelled up overnight. I was in tremendous pain. for several days and though there has been some reduction, my belly is still bigger than usual. 3 months and two ultrasounds and blood panels later and they still can't see anything wrong. But my PT, CN and Chiro doc insist that my gall bladder and liver are inflamed. So, I've been on a very restricted diet so as not to aggrivate them any further. In spite of that, I had another attack/swelling 3 days ago. So, i'm sitting here re-reading about all of my many conditions and reading posts in my various support groups and I am all of a sudden realizing that I need more serious control of symptoms, I may need to be on RXs (which I'm basically not, I wanted to do suppliments and diet changes. I do some RX's but they are restasis and lodine, a natural adrenal suppliment, ginseng, etc.) I also realize that I may need some other kind of regular therapy for my stresses. And I realized that my body IS falling apart and if I don't do something radical I really may die soon. Sorry for this long post. I'm really worried about my health. Am I being paranoid or smart to be cautious? Thanks!