I'm afraid to quit my job

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by LaurieS, Sep 2, 2008.

  1. LaurieS

    LaurieS Member

    I'm wondering how others have come to terms with the fact that you just can't work anymore... I am a vet tech and practice manager in a vet hospital, and every day seems worse trying to make it through. My biggest problem is financial. I know if I quit we won't be able to pay the mortgage, etc. Has anyone been able to collect unemployment? I feel too sick and exhausted to think about what lies ahead, yet I am in so much pain all the time I can't imagine staying on the job much longer, Any words of wisdom?
  2. rayswife

    rayswife New Member

    I can really relate to that fear right now. I am going through a bad flare right now, been bad for about 3 weeks. This is the second week I have not been able to work. Waiting on a diagnosis, but don't know if it will answer the big questions. Am I going to be able to go back to work? When?
    Then I'm afraid my boss's patience will wear thin and I'll lose my job. But one thing I know, when we need good advice and support this is the place to be, so maybe we'll both get some answers!
  3. vannafeelbettr

    vannafeelbettr New Member

    I had a toddler and babay to support. Instead of quitting my boss of 13 years fired me, seeing I was having trouble doing job well (as much as I tried to hide it). Unemployment pays little for me (I did hair and half my pay was tips). I've been out of work 6 months now, am still in excruiting pain, weakness..... but we've been forced to live off of credit cards. Things are so bad, I need to get work. Worst of all, it will have to be night work because unable to cover daycare costs for 2. Talk about even more lack of sleep!

    Good luck with your choice. It's difficult.
  4. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    You might start by seeing your doctor and discussing this. Doctors can put you on temporary disability which normally lasts 12 months depending on your credits.

    The next step is permanent disability or SSDI. That is more difficult but not for everyone.

    There is a website called "disability secrets" that explains alot. It discusses fibromyalgia and other conditions.

    My brother studied that website before applying for disability and thought it really helped.

  5. PatDLT

    PatDLT New Member

    I have been working at my current job for 14 years. This March was the last straw and I just could not go back to work because of my pain and depression. I was very lucky and was put on disability in March of this year. Since I was putting in for LTD and Sort Term Disability I have been getting paid by STD and EDD. I am waiting to hear if they are going to approve my LTD. If they don't I will be in the same boat. I hope you get the help you need. I wish there was a better way.

  6. ladybugmandy

    ladybugmandy Member

    quit work. take a one-year sick leave if you can (mine is not paid). move in with a relative if you have to. you simple cannot keep working. this is a serious, progressive illness.

    because i left for health reasons, i was able to get some employement insurance. depending on your workplace, you should be eligible for other benefits. please call HR.

    a number of people with CFS have sued their insurance companies and have won.

    during your sick leave, see a specialist and get treatment.

    i wish i had quit work before i did.....i kept going in till i was on my last legs!

    good luck
  7. tony23

    tony23 New Member

    I foolishly kept working. I never recovered my health. I was able to retire at 58 and got Social Security Disability. Keeping working was the dumbest thing I ever did in my life. Had I taken off six months, I might have recovered. Instead I waited 13 years to retire. I had enough money to last six months and after that money ran out there were relatives that would have put me up.
  8. colorfulcolorado

    colorfulcolorado New Member

    I pay into STD and LTD how would I go about getting the STD from my employer? I'm in the same boat and really need to quit my job due to my FM and other things, and that's another question I thought you had to be fired or laid off to collect unemployment. A response would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
  9. ladybugmandy

    ladybugmandy Member

    tony...don't be too hard on yourself. i also waited 15 years to travel to the US to get help...i was REALLY sick.

    besides...13 years ago, they didn't know much about the illness anyway. unless you were rich enough for ampligen, there wasn't that much you could have done (assuming you had a viral issue).

    i spent a lot of time beating myself up too (coulda woulda shoulda...)...still do.

  10. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Yes to collect unemployment is has to be through no fault of your own. You can't simply quit and get unemployment benefits unless there are certain circumstances (horrible working conditions etc)
    Unemployment does not pay much - at all. It also doesn't last very long. It really isn't the answer. Look into a longer term solution. Disability of some sort. There are many people here who are well versed in that area. I unfortunately I not one of them. =)

    My husband was recently laid off and we were shocked at how little he got. It doesn't matter if you make 30K or 200K, there is a maximum paid and it's the same dollar amount for everyone.
  11. tony23

    tony23 New Member

    Thank you for the kind thoughts dear ladybugmandy
  12. ldoty

    ldoty New Member

    I live in Indiana and to collect umemployment, you have to be able to work but just can't find a job. They don't pay for someone that is not able to work due to illness.
    Good luck....God Bless
  13. JoFMS

    JoFMS New Member

    Hi Laurie,

    I used to work in a vet practice as a vet nurse but now I volunteer at a wildlife centre but am considering moving back to UK right now as too stressful for me here - its a lot i have to give up but I can't carry on the way I am.

    I have learnt that pushing ourseles when we come to the point of not working only stops us recovering. Maybe one day you might feel a lot better if you take a break now.

    I also don't know what I'll do to get a mortgage or anything. Sometimes I wish someone would just make the decisions for me.

    I don't know how to collect unemployment so I'm not much help there but I do feel for you - I'm having a similar dilemma myself with finances.
  14. Malcolm82

    Malcolm82 New Member

    I never thought of quitting my job. I was in denial. I had no idea what was causing my symptoms. I just worked until I couldn't perform my job duties anymore, and my employer could see that. Knowing now that continuing to push ourselves when we have these conditions can severely reduce our chances for recovery, I realize now that continuing to work while I was struggling was the worst thing I could have done, but financially I couldn't quit my job. That is the story for alot of us.

    My doctor was willing to fill out my short term disability forms stating I could no longer perform my job duties due to my symptoms, even though at that time I hadn't been diagnosed yet. Fortunately, I had STD and LTD insurance through my employer that I paid the premiums on. I had a terrible time admitting I couldn't work anymore after 25 years of steady employment, almost 18 with the same company. After 6 months of STD I got approved for long term disability. I had been diagnosed with CFIDS by then. One year after leaving work I was still on disability and got fired for my "extended leave of absence". Fortunately I am still on LTD. My LTD carrier is making me apply for SSDI since I have been disabled for over a year, and they are going to pay the representation fees.

    A few questions about your situation:

    Do you have a doctor who is willing to state that you are unable to perform your job duties due to your symptoms?

    Are you enrolled in any STD or LTD policies?

    Does your state require your employer to carry STD insurance for their employees?

    The key to getting on disability is your doctor.

    As far as an income goes, STD would be the option right now, if you have access to it. If you don't, I don't believe you would be eligible for unemployment because you can't work.

    I don't know if any of this has been of much help, but many people here have been through the pain of having to say goodbye to their work and it is not easy, but you WILL survive!

    Please post for me any other questions you have and I will do my best to answer them.

    [This Message was Edited on 09/04/2008]
  15. LaurieS

    LaurieS Member

    Since writing this post my symptoms have become worse, and have had to call in sick for the last 3 days, although I have used all my paid sick days (I get 3 per year). I have no disability insurance, and we really have no HR department... I haven't been "diagnosed" with CFS/FM, but internist guesses that's what's going on and I have my first Rheumy appt. next week. I will ask about work/disability at that time. I love my veterinary career and am in tears everytime I think that it must end, but I realize I will not get better, or have a quality life until I quit. Faith cannot be taken away, even though part of who I am is...Thanks for all your support!
  16. ladybugmandy

    ladybugmandy Member

    your career isnt over...this is just a bump in the road, albeit a long one. you will get your life back! make this your new mission in life for now.

    all the best
  17. LaurieS

    LaurieS Member

    Thanks for that-you're right. I am not a quitter :)