I am back to where I am deciding that this is just not "real", that my anxiety, and toxic relationships are causing most of this, and the Lyme the rest of the bad feelings I have. I was a happy and healthy person once, and that person is still inside here, sort of locked up somehow. But I think I am the person keeping it locked up. I think I have just lost the "real" me. Somewhere back there, and this alter ego took over, and it's time for her to leave. Like the evil twin in the sitcoms.