I'm done apologizing

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by shari1677, Sep 14, 2009.

  1. shari1677

    shari1677 New Member

    I've decided that I'm done apologizing to people about not only my disease, but my lifestyle. I'm also done with trying to improve myself - what's really wrong with me anyway and who wrote the book that says you have to be someone other than yourself?

    I dont drink, smoke, do drugs or swear. I'm a great mom, within the limits of this disease, I am still able to work full-time and I have many friends.

    I know this may not have 100% to do with FM, but, I thought I would share it with all of you anyway. It is a very liberating way of living!!! :)
  2. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    Yay Shari!! I applaud you! Applaud! Applaud!

    No one should ever have to apologize for being ill or in pain. Ever.


  3. luv2float

    luv2float New Member

    My New Years resolution to myself was "I'm done defending and explaining myself"! My friends and family STILL don't get it!! I know they never will so I give up. Take me or leave me. It's helped me to just accept that things are just what they are.

    I'm happy to hear you still work...I sure can't and I really miss it.

    Good luck to you.
  4. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    I'm sick of people attacking me and trying to force me to prove I'm sick. Why should I have to prove to anyone other than the doctors, which I've already done, that I am physically ill and disabled? I can't stand anyone that puts me on the defensive like that.

    One of my cousins actually called it "that CFS lifestyle". It's not a lifestyle, it's a disease that was forced on me, not by my choice.

    The thing is, would they like their lives dissected and judged? My cousin doesn't work. She got married and squeaked out as many kids as she could just so she wouldn't have to work. She really doesn't do anything significant with her life. She's what I would call a "professional mother" and a "gold digger" since she married for money. Actually, you could call all of my cousins that. They don't work, they squeaked out alot of kids. That is their life.

    I might not have been able to have kids or a marriage from this disease, but I've actually done alot over the years. I've spent the last fifteen years doing internet entertainment. My website now has over seventy thousand members worldwide. And I might not get paid for that, but I've spent the last fifteen years making people happy all around the world every day with my files. I also spent over half my life doing all of my mother's secretarial work for her floral wholesaling business while she was alive. I didn't get paid in cash for that either. She bought all my groceries. But it was still work. And I got a creative writing degree while sick that I'm more proud of than my college degree because I got it while sick.

    So who's to judge? Whose life is "better" or more significant? I've always felt that I was doing exactly what God wants me to do. If God wanted me to be working, I'd be healthy and working, or healthy enough to be working. Obviously, not everyone is meant to do so and not everyone is meant to get married and squeak out lots of kids.

    I'm sick of the judgments from all the relatives. Believe me, if we dissected all of their lives piece by piece, they are the ones who would come up short.

    We shouldn't have to be placed in a position where we have to defend how we live, how or why we are sick or what treatments we have tried or are trying. It's our lives, let everyone stay out of it.
  5. FibroFay

    FibroFay New Member

    And we are who we are.

    Self acceptance is a wonderful thing. So freeing!

    And we don't owe ANYONE an explanation about anything. Maybe if we stop trying to explain ourselves, then people will accept us for who we are also. (Just a thought).

    Hugs, Fay
  6. loto

    loto Member

    I wish I would follow this, but I'm constantly telling my kids sorry, but I don't feel well.
    They don't seem to support me as much as they should, and I still don't know if it's because they don't want to accept that i'm not 100% healthy or not.
  7. jaynesez

    jaynesez New Member

    healthy attitude to have! If we all stop caring so much about the opinions of others (most who have no idea) we could lead a much happier life, even healthy people would! Just think what a nicer world it would be if ppl would stop competing with each other, and themselves, if they were happy with the 10 year old car that runs instead of a brand new, shiny one that runs too but with an outrageous monthly payment! Or if they would stop wanting a bigger house, nicer clothes, etc. etc. etc. We've all been raised to believe that if you are ill, or not filling every hour of every day doing "something" then you're lazy, and/or weak. How sad.. But anyways, I'm glad you're done saying sorry when you've done nothing wrong, and I'm glad you're done worrying over what others think. It's so liberating, isn't it? Good post, and good for you!!