I'm feeling a little insecure ...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by JannyW, Sep 5, 2002.

  1. JannyW

    JannyW New Member

    about having filed for Social Security, like maybe I COULD return to work. Some days I feel pretty good, like I can handle anything ... other days I feel pretty much like crap. Overall, I'm really nervous about finances, and I think this is one of the reasons I'm having these thoughts. The insurance company who handles my employer's STD has been dragging their feet, so I have no income at the moment (luckily my partner does, so we're not indigent yet!). And if I'm approved for SSDI I won't get a check until January.

    Just wondering if anyone else has gone thru this mindset ...

    Jan ^v^
  2. JannyW

    JannyW New Member

    about having filed for Social Security, like maybe I COULD return to work. Some days I feel pretty good, like I can handle anything ... other days I feel pretty much like crap. Overall, I'm really nervous about finances, and I think this is one of the reasons I'm having these thoughts. The insurance company who handles my employer's STD has been dragging their feet, so I have no income at the moment (luckily my partner does, so we're not indigent yet!). And if I'm approved for SSDI I won't get a check until January.

    Just wondering if anyone else has gone thru this mindset ...

    Jan ^v^
  3. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    I told several of my co-workers that I was seriously thinking about applying today! I was so fatigued and in so much pain and a foggy nurse isn't safe. BUT, then I took two Ultram after having stopped them a few months ago and I felt so much better! THEN, I went to the drugstore and to the grocery store and then cooked supper and cleaned out the fridge and I haven't even taken my uniform off yet. I KNOW I'll feel like crap in the morning 'cause this is too much for me. Why can't I learn to pace myself????? I think we're conditioned to work, work, work,,,society places so much emphasis on this...I KNOW my husband does and I feel like I have to be the best....I always pay for this obsession!
    I'll keep you in my thoughts!
    Kady
  4. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    If you are only having doubts on your good days, forget it. If you go back to work it means every day, good, bad, awful. I thought I was ready to go back to work part-time last spring. I was wrong. I was exhausted and even working only half the normal hours I could only go to work and come home and rest. I spent every weekend resting. I was tired all the time.

    Right now I'm in the middle of applying for SSDI. Just when I think I'm done they send me a few more papers to fill out. With one crisis after another at my house this summer It's taking me forever to get finished.

    This week my health insurance was cancelled when it was just supposed to be switched from the school system paying part to my paying it all. I have been working on getting a prescription refilled since Tuesday. Today I hand delivered a check to the HR office and was promised they would contact the insurance company TODAY so I could pick up my rx on the way home.

    Well, 45 minutes later it was still being rejected by my insurance and they refused to call the school system. Told the pharmacist to tell me to. Well, when I got home, I did and left a very irate message. I'm exhausted from trying to keep up with that and my son's recent hospitalization, and his father's shenanigans. I keep getting short changed in the sleep department.

    Sorry, I got bit off topic, but don't even think about returning to work unless you feel like it EVERY day!

    Barbara
  5. deecrossett

    deecrossett New Member

    Hi Janny, I approached this subject with my Husband, as he recommends the hiring and laying off the employees in his office. He said that his boss and him had discussed that one day, and they both agreed that I was not employable. In essence, I would either be calling in because I was too sick or in too much pain or I would have to leave early because of the same things. He agrees that I am too ill to work and all of my energies should be put toward managing these diseases. And he won't hear of it when I say that I should be working to help out with the bills. So, try not to feel this way, Janny. It will all work out for you. Just keep your spirits up and relax as much as you can. Giving your worries to God helps alot, too. God bless, Deena
  6. tired42long

    tired42long New Member

    Hi Jan,
    I am looking at the stack of paperwork also, wondering if I should REALLY file. I know I can't work, but it is a big step. I did contact Mr. Davis, the attorney that does so much work with this stuff. He told me to work as long as you can....of course to build up your wage history.But, I had to stop working immediatley after "it" hit.) I have felt a couple times like I could MAYBE go back for about 10 hours a week doing SOMETHING nonstressful or physical...that psuedo "good" period may last about a month or so, and then WHAM...sent back to doom. Of course any of us could TRY to go back to work...some wouldn't get past the shower and dressing in the morning to even go (that would be me)...some may make it to the parking lot and "crash"...others may be able to stick out a few hours. Some could put in a day and then go home to crash...and barely be able to sleep enough and wake up to do it all over again. I think it is easier for us to think we are capable when we are in a mini "remission". It is tougher to look at the whole picture. That is what kept me from filing....I just kept thinking it would go away and automatically get better by "resting and eating right" like the doc said---the "post virus" stuff would just vanish. Everyone is an individual with this. We are not on the same pain levels, fatigue levels, etc. Only WE can know what we can handle. It makes me so upset that some organization would think we would want to be so disabled and UNABLE to work AND even do the things we would love to do like hobbies, family stuff, and even keep house like we would like to.The one thing I found was that being on disability does not automatically mean forever. Or, that you have an either/or option. I heard if you you get on disability, and if you are able at some point,you can still try to work a little and bring in a certain amount of money even if you are on disability. I don't know if that varies by state. That part gave me hope that I could at least do something if I get feeling a little better. I also understand a vocational counselor can even help you find such work. I see people in wheelchairs, the deaf and blind, and some in pretty bad shape carving out livings as well as they can. I hope I can at least get back to that point someday. I want to work, but now cant. Don't feel bad about it or push yourself to do something you may not be able to do right now. Only YOU can know. (Got a little winded on my thoughts---sorry....it is a touchy subject for my right now, too. Eileen
  7. allie2

    allie2 New Member

    Hi! My name is Allison and I am 21 years old. For six years i have been poked and prodded by many doctors....and finally someone found a diagnosis...Fibromyalgia... I have been forced to lose many jobs due to illness. I have good days and then there are days where I can barely get out of bed. My boyfriend lost his job and I am having problems finding one that I can physically handle. I am also researching the options of social security and disability. You are not the only one. I have also been doing research on in home college education. If you need some support feel free to email me at lilshow4u@aol.com. maybe we have some important information to share. I have also been researching work from home careers. I know that sometimes it is hard for family and friends to comprehend exactly how we feel. Sometimes i get so frustrated.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/05/2002]
  8. JannyW

    JannyW New Member

    ... glad to know I'm not alone! I mentioned my post to my partner, who is on SSDI, and she said she STILL goes thru this -- and she's been on disability since 1994.

    I think the toughest part is not having any income. My insurance company is going thru my medical records for a possible pre-existing on depression, not fibro, because of the way my doctor worded her letter. I haven't had any income since July and the bills are stacking up. Sigh. And they wonder why I feel stressed!

    Jan ^v^