I'm usually able to rise above everything and have a sunny disposition and keep on keepin' on but I am so sick of this severe pain and neurolgia. I guess this mood got worse when I talked to my sister who has arthritis in her knees and hips which I do too. She's been going to PT and she gets to have an ultrasound and hop in the whirlpool. At the end of the conversation I thought I'd speak my mind and told her that I was jealous of her and that I wished that I could get that kind of treatment and that all I got last month in therapy was a supposed fibromyalgia program (which was just literally old outdated information that I would correct her on having to bite my tongue at times lest she think I was a know it all. I was put on a upper and lower weightlifting program when it specifically appeared the script was for something like ultrasound or heat treatments....something for my pain. I'm so sick of all my other health problems wastebasketed into the fibro. My severe pain never goes away. When people talk about breakthrough pain I don't know what the hell that is. I never get relief PERIOD. My life is wonderful if it were not for the pain. I don't have stress other than from the pain nor do I carry baggage from past issues. I guess I'm finally feeling the effects of having both my pain doctor and now the chiro give up on me in the same week. I should have known something was up with the pain doc because I supposedly won the 'on time' contest and had my copay brought back saying that I had overpaid and I know I did not. I walked out of the appointment and said "well at least I got my consulation prize." I was joking then but I'm not laughing now. My prize? A coffee cup with tea in it, a pill container and stress ball all with the pain practices name and phone number on it. She walked in and said "congratulation, (shook my hand) I've tried everything I have on you." She never said anything like I'm sorry I couldn't help you or anything. The chiro won't touch me because I told him to not touch my neck that even when I saw him in October he made me worse and that's when I started to get headaches and my head feels so heavy and I can't get it comfrortable. He cracked it the other day and today I couldn't even read a newspaper because I couldn't bend my neck without severe pain and stabbing into my back too to read a newspaper. The only semi relief I get is laying my head backwards in a chair. The chiro said to get another MRI and to have another doctor prescribe it so medicare would pay for it. I said I doubted that that would happen because everyone thinks this is all in my head. He let the nurse do this handheld vibrator thing on my back which feels fabulous and he left the room and he never returned. Supposedly he was on the phone when I asked her if I was supposed to come back. He didn't even touch my right arm which is why I went there in the first place cuz he helped it immensely in October when the arm was nearly lock in a bent position. Anyway, I'm sorry for complaining and I'll probably regret sending this but I just want to be heard cuz I'm fed up. Even my hands are a basket case, hardly able to pick up anything and I don't dare pick up anything in a store other than groceries or I will drop it. Holding a newspaper is torture. You guys all know this stuff too. I'm just worried that I won't even go from a cane or to a walker because I don't have the strength or the ability to hold anything in my hand or arms. Okay, I guess that enough of my pity party. And to think just a few months ago I had a neurologist as me "WHY, are you disabled?" Nobody's got a clue.