I'm Giving UP

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by sandy1, Apr 5, 2006.

  1. sandy1

    sandy1 New Member

    I don't want to fight this stuff anymore, you can't win.Twenty years,all those meds,all the doctors, I just want to curl up in a little ball and disappear! My husband,my kids have all helped,I feel like i'm ruining their lives and they don't have the damm DX!I can't lessen my stress, One duaghter is having a difficult pregnancy and a C section is her only option,My daughter-in-law has a brain tumor and will start treatment in june, my other daughter is planning her wedding for our backyard,my husband isn't happy with his boss and is thinking of changing companies.Since Katrinia, my doctors have either left or so over booked, you can't take time to talk.I just want to stop fighting!!
  2. ilovepink4

    ilovepink4 Member

    i understand and have felt the same....then it gets a little better then worse, then better, then worse....

    it sounds like you are depressed....do you take antidepressants? they can really help....

    you definately have a lot of crap on your plate right now...i don't have a magic advice other than to tell you that i feel bad that you feel bad....

    you have lots of things to look towards...a new baby, a wedding....scary stuff, too but try to focus on the good things...you have people that need you, too...your daughters, son, daughter in law...hubby, especially if he changes jobs....

    you have the right to be mad at this illness....just hang on because this feeling comes and goes...

    take care! pink
  3. erfula1

    erfula1 New Member

    (((((((((HUGS)))))))))) It will get better I promise. I know that it doesn't seem that way now. You need to take a step back and let it all out. Do you have a close friend to vent to? Use us as a sounding board. We are here for you.
  4. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    You sound overwhelmed right now. With all the stuff that is going on, the frustrations in your own life and with your family.

    It's okay to curl up into a ball and dissappear off the radar screen for awhile. If there's a way to get all the people and problems out of your personal space for a while, it might help.

    Tell them you need to be alone sometimes. Then set part of the day to stay by yourself and read, or do something else that you love to do, have some of that good cooking you are famous for. Write out how you are feeling. Watch dumb TV shows and old movies. Sort of a mini vacation while staying at home.

    It may sound like a dumb idea, but a little enforced peace and quiet may help to refresh you. Would counselling help to get the stresses out too?

    My love goes out to you and your family.
    ((holding your hand)) Shannon
  5. ABLUV

    ABLUV New Member

    Sometimes it's okay to just take a day off from the madness and don't do anything at all. Skip the meds for a day, but no more. Reschedule the doc appointment for another day. Let the dishes pile up, eat lunch meat or cereal for dinner....You are overwhelmed.

    I just helped my aunt plan a big 60th birthday party and the closer we got to the event the more overwhelmed i felt. I didn't want to talk to anyone, see anyone; I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep or read a good book without interruption. But of course, interruptions are a big part of life and I couldn't just make the world go away. While planning the party, i also assist my husband in starting a new church, and entertain guests from out of town. I couldn't get my usual chores done plus my body shuts down when it feels like it. Shut down means, I can't walk, sit up, or hold my head steady for several hours or several days. Then my Dad's kidney is shutting down and he won't take dialysis, so I rushed up to Illinois to see him the week before the party because that's the only time my husband could take off work to drive me to see Dad(a 15hr drive). I have to go two hrs away to see a doctor I can afford (the veterans hospital) and most of the time they just say there's nothing they can do for me (why do I bother?). My mom lives with me and my husband and she has chronic illnessess that i have to keep an eye on because if i don't she'll forget to take the stuff she's supposed to take. I think you get the picture...

    I identify with being overwhelmed, having so many balls in the air that you can't juggle them all. As our friends said in earlier posts, the bad feelings will pass (they always do for me). Life will slow down again for a little while (it did for me), and if it doesn't just take the day off anyway...

    Also, there is an inexpensive herbal tea called Oat Straw that helps to soothe my emotions. You can get it at a local Health food store or they can order it for you. Tastes a little funny but with a little sugar, you'll enjoy the results.

    Take care, be nice to yourself...
  6. taniazcatz

    taniazcatz New Member

    I can relate to wanting to give up. I'm currently having that same feeling myself. Wouldn't it be great if we could really say, " Thats it- Ive had it. Enough is enough, " and theh suddenly we were relieved of this dx?! I've had FMS and lupus for 6 years and every once in a while I get tired. I get tired of hurting, tired of having to take a ton of medicine, tired of feeling like I'm a huge burden on my family, I just get tired. And for a few days I quit. I stop fighting against this diseased body and for a few days I let the illness win. Then one day I feel better and continue on with the fight. I don't know if it helps knowing that you're not alone, there are those of us who understand the fight. We can be here for you and offer support when you need it. I sincerely hope that you feel better.
  7. tlayne

    tlayne Member

    I just quit my nursing job friday. I bawled all the way home. I felt so inadequate, uncapable, a failure, defective, and like I didn't have enough faith to even be healed. it was a really stormy day, and very dark for 2:00.Boy did that fit my mood. I just wanted to give up. as a big truck passed me I thought "why didn't I just swerve right in front of it, then it would all be over." Well I am a sky watcher (that word just doesn't look right, oh well),and right then I looked up and there was a clearing above the mountain top with the most amazing sun set! I said, "God I am so mad at you right now, and what do you do but give me a touch of your majesty." Ever since then he has held me in his arms and blessed me. I went to church Sunday for the first time in weeks. Believe me it was hard, I had to rest even while I was brushing my teeth. It was so worth it tho. The Holy Spirit ministered to my soul. Since then I have met the most wonderful & loving people thru this board. It seems like the storm always gets worse before the sun shines, so please just hang in there a little while longer. God bless you
  8. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    overwhelming feeling that takes us over. It will pass, even if all seems lost today.

    You do not have the power to change all these stressors that are happening right now, but you can change the way you react to them. Giving up CAN mean giving up trying to
    sumon the energy to be sympathetic to the extent you want to be and this is OK. I think we all can give oursleves permission to "give up" on being the super mom, the super friend, the super wife, etc and just accept that we are an ill person doing what we can to offer whatever support we can.

    I think if you can just tell yourself you are truly not capable of doing more than offering a few words of condolence or listening for ten minutes and not be bashing yourself over the head for that being the best you can do, then you will feel a little better.

    I think what makes us feel so overwhelmed is trying to be our old selves. We cannot be that. We can just do what we are able and be what we are able.

    Please stop being so very hard on YOU, you are expecting too much of yourself. Be kind to YOU, LOVE YOU, and maybe do stop fighting your need for rest, healing and calm. Sometimes acceptance and grace is the best we can manage. And that is fine.

    Much love and hugs, This too will pass,

    Anne C

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