I'm in trouble

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by joyfully, May 18, 2007.

  1. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    I'm sitting here sobbing. I see the gasterenterologist at 11 this morning. While I'm getting ready, the phone rings. It is about my thyroid biopsies. They are abnormal and the doctor wants to see me immediately. I can't go until this afternoon as I need to leave for my GI appointment that I've been waiting to get into for 3 weeks.

    Please pray for mme that it isn't cancer. I'm really scared. Joy
  2. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    Heavenly Father, please hold this good woman in your hand, comfort her, give her reasons to hope, give her solutions and help her as she needs hope and love right now.

    Joyfully I can feel your fear and wish and hope you have somebody to take you to these appointments and offer love and support.

    Let us know. hugs and prayers.
  3. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Joy, that the Lord will be with you and your doctors. YOu are such a wonderful lady, and have helped so many on the Depression board, including me.

    The Spirit of the Lord will be with you every step of the way today. Put your trust in Him along with us....................

    Shalom, Shirl
  4. caffey

    caffey New Member

    Please Father come and comfort your daughter right now she is so scared. Please fill her with Your peace and help her to accept what ever the news is. Please come and hold her tight. In Jesus Name thank you.Amen.
    Please keep us posted and let us know what we can do for you ok. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
  5. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Remember me? I don't know how to comfort you but I'm praying for you.
  6. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    I am not seeing this until 10 PM but I am praying for peace for whatever is to come for you. I will continue to pray for you. You have a lot going on all at once. Take care and let us know how we can help you.

  7. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    It is cancer. I'm just in a fog. Thank you for all your kind prayers and thoughtfulness through this.

    I didn't know that I could shed so many tears and not run out!

    I am still in shock over this. Life isn't always fair. Life isn't a dress rehersal. This is the real thing with all of the good times, and all of the bad times.

    A nice lady from church has volunteered to watch my son's little doggie when I'm in the hospital. My son is up in Dallas doing a summer internship at a law firm. I haven't told him.

    My hubby went with me to the endocrinologist's office today. I'm glad he was there because I was just in a fog.
    I heard words, but I wasn't comprehending.

    I think I'm in the "I can only take this in small baby steps" phase right now. So I'm not looking at the big picture. I'm focusing on Monday's doctor appointment to evaluate whether my heart doctor will give the green light so I can have the surgery to remove the remaining side of my thyroid.

    getridof, yes. I remember you. Hope you are doing well.

    Again, thank you everyone for the kind words and prayers. I really need a boost right now. Soft hugs. Joy

    Oh, I forgot to add something truly amazing in God's grace.
    The staff at the cardiologist's office had just finished telling me the first available opening for the chemical stress test was in 2 weeks. The cardiologist's nurse came out of the back and told the scheduling secretary that there was an opening this Monday at 8:30 AM. She had just gotten off of the phone with a man who needed to reschedule! Suddenly, God cleared the way and got me in on Monday!

    Then, my hubby and I drove to the surgeon's office because it was going to be over a week to be seen there when I called on the phone to get an appointment. Another cancellation happened while we were at the receptionist's window talking to the scheduling lady! BINGO! I'm getting to see the surgeon this coming Wednesday ---AND AT THE LOCATION JUST MILES FROM MY HOME!

    To think there are people who don't believe in God! I had 2 miracles within hours of each other. The other thing that is such a miracle is that the biopsy surgeon happened to take a biopsy on a certain area of the one growth. There were 9 growths. My endocrinologist hadn't even requested a biopsy from this particular spot on this little growth. THAT is the one that has the cancer! I was blessed with a very good surgeon who took the biopsies. My nurses told me he was "the best" of the 3 doctors doing out patient biopsies that day. God directed his hands to find the cancer.

    [This Message was Edited on 05/18/2007]
  8. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    I'm cutting and pasting from the message that I wrote on the arthritis board.

    Last night, I realized that I didn't have the instructions or the location for the early morning Monday cardiac chemical stress test. I spent alot of time searching the house, my car, my purse, pockets of dirty slacks in the hamper---for the instructions.

    Well, my hubby and I went to early church. I was still totally frazzled over the cardiac instructions for the test.

    I started crying in church. i went to the restroom and "got my act together". Anyway, I THOUGHT I had my act together. I reentered the church, sat down next to hubby, and started crying again. I told him we had to leave.

    So I buzz out to the car on my scooter. Normally, I'm driving my minivan by myself, so no one usually sits in the front passenger seat. Well, I look down into the map holder thingy on the door and what do I see but a piece of white paper folded twice. I opened it ---and you guessed it. THE INSTRUCTIONS FOR MY TEST! Here I had just come out of the restroom at the church asking God to please help me find the instructions. It wasn't 5 minutes later and I find them in the car that I had already searched 4 times last night.

    My hubby assumed I was crying over the cancer. I was crying because the surgical schedule would be bumped backwards AT LEAST 2 weeks if I couldn't have this test tomorrow.

    I can't even have my Ovaltine tonight! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I've written notes all over the kitchen to remind me not to put ovaltine in my milk at bedtime.

    I haven't decided what I'm packing in the brown bag lunch that I'm supposed to take along to the cariologist's office.

    I've really not been able to eat since the diagnosis. It is goofy but I keep thinking that what ever I eat is feeding that darn cancer.
    All I have eaten since getting the diagnosis is milk. Go figure!

    My brain is still trying to grasp all of this. I normally take vitamin E for about a week before getting surgery. I don't know if I should with this thyroid cancer. I see the surgeon on Wed. i'm going to try to get my Tuesday appointment back. Yeah, I'm not making too much sense, but I'm hangin' in there. Soft hugs. Joyfully
  9. Lms526

    Lms526 New Member

    I am so very sorry for what you are going through. I can't even begin to imagine. I honestly don't know what to say. But please know that I am praying for you. I don't know how, but I know somehow the Lord will get you through. ((((hugs)))) you have offered so much support and wisdom to the people on this board. I hope and pray that now the people here will show you the same love and support you have shown others.

  10. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    Well, I made it through the cardiac test. It wasn't as bad as I imagined. I thought they were going to give me a drug that sped up my heart. Instead , they gave me radioactive stuff ---followed by something that dialated my blood vessels. My heart didn't race. They told me that was a different chemical stress test than the one I was getting. I was so hungry when they told me I could finally eat something that I ate everything in my lunch bag except the smooshed banana!

    I managed to reschedule my surgeon's appt for tomorrow morning at 9:45. I will be going to his downtown office---TRAFFIC AND MAJOR PARKING SPACE ISSUES! I don't care. I just want to get on the surgical schedule ASAP! I want this critter out of me.

    I've decided that I will do mental imaging when I get the radioactive iodine sometime after the surgery. I'm going to think of the old computer game pacman. With the pacman running around and gobbling up the rest of the nasty cells.

    The nurse came out after my cardiac procedure today and said she is still stunned how fast I got in. She said that time slot couldn't have been available more than 5 minutes---and I happened to be there and get scheduled during that tiny window of opportunity!

    May God continue to open doors for me. I'm just doing tiny baby steps. I can't handle the big picture yet. I'm just focusing on one step at a time. Soft hugs. Joy
  11. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    I'm scheduled for surgery on the 31st. It is one of the few days that my hubby is in town (has a contract to fulfill with existing client). Isn't it amazing how God continues to send his blessings down upon me! I really do want my hubby there. He is my best friend. He never leaves my bed side when I'm in the hospital. If everything goes well, I get to come home the next day. My good friend lives just 4 doors down from me. Another good friend lives about 5 blocks from me. I am so comforted knowing that they are available.
  12. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Keep posting if you can. We're all praying for you.
  13. pepper

    pepper New Member

    I have been following your posts and want you to know that I am praying for you along with all your other friends here. I am so happy that God has bestowed these blessings on you as you are going through this terrible time.

    I wanted to mention that pac man game you are going to visualize. I have a friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Before her surgery she learned how to meditate and envisioned that exact thing, a little pac man eating her tumour.

    When the doctors removed the tumour, they were amazed at how much it had shrunk. It even had little "bite marks" taken out of it! They were so amazed that somehow it ended up on the front page of our newspaper. The doctors were quoted as saying that they had evidence of the power of the mind.

    Just wanted to encourage you to do that!

    Love, Pepper
  14. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    They are planning to follow-up with radioactive iodine. It must be one heck of a dose because they have already told me that I can't be by children, not to let my pet lick my skin, flush the toilet twice after each use, throw away toothbrushes as I use them, etc.

    I guess I'll get the full list when they do that part of the procedure. So I'll have "glow in the dark" pac man inside of me!
  15. kriket

    kriket New Member

    I will be praying for you. My goodness. Such a shock and so much to take in at one time. Wish I could do something to make you feel better. Baby steps are all we can take sometimes, sometimes that's whats best. Hang in there. You have a lot of friends here and a lot of prayers going up for you.

  16. kriket

    kriket New Member

    How are you today??? Been thinking about you!!!

    Hugs!!!! Kriket
  17. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    I got a phone call from my only child last night. He has worked soooooooo hard in law school. He expected an A in his Contracts law class and got a B! His grade is in the bottom third of the class for this particular course. he is stunned. Now, he is a nervous wreck that he will no longer be in the upper 25% of his class. Without this ranking, the likelihood of getting an offer plummets. I haven't told him about my cancer or the upcoming surgery.

    Please pray that he gets A's in his remaining classes. He has received two grades so far, one A and one B for this semesster.

    My hubby says I have to tell him. With my son living in a motel up in Dallas right now for this summer internship, I don't want him sitting in a room by himself worrying about me.

    Why do these things keep happening? I was planning to tell my son this weekend, but now he is already so upset over this grade.

    I'm still waiting to hear from the gynecologist's office whether I can get my HRT shot. I'm already 1 1/2 weeks overdue for the shot. I'm having one hot flash after another. (Just what I need with all the rest of this going on!)

    Calgon, take me away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    [This Message was Edited on 05/24/2007]
  18. kriket

    kriket New Member

    The right time will come when you should tell him. It sounds like he is under a lot of stress, but you are too. I will remember you guys in my prayers. I've been wondering about you.

  19. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    I have a friend who has an interesting acronym.....what you are on is a "Faith Walk".......faith stands for:
    So even when we don't know what the day will bring, we can trust Him and that all things work together for good, according to His purposes. I'm praying for you and your family.
  20. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    I have been praying for you but did not have time to post until now. I will be praying for your surgery. God is with you and He is allowing you to see that in very tangible ways.

    You will be a "glowing" example of God's love. LOL Take care and let us know how you are doing.