I'm not retired yet, but loved this

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by jaltair, Apr 17, 2007.

  1. jaltair

    jaltair New Member

    I Ramblings of a Retired Mind

    I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

    You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

    I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

    I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

    I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust."

    I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

    I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

    Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

    Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do... write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

    I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me; they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

    *Enjoy Your Days. &. Love Your Life" because *Life is a journey to be savored"
  2. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    I laughed out loud at the first two, and the kitty litter one!!

    Thanks, how about a bowl of chicken noodle soup!?
    I don't think i would get away with that.

    A poultry farm? That's a whole lot of chicken *hit!
    I did milk cows for awhile with my mom, that's a *hitty job too!
    There is something peaceful about animals tho.

    Great having a laugh with you.