I'm off to London today....Daughter update

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by hugs4evry1, Jul 4, 2008.

  1. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Which sounds wonderful but....hubby and I are going to visit our daughter who is now in a longer term psychiatric care hospital outside of London in Surrey.

    We've had a horrible 2 1/2 months since I tore my quadracept muscle leaving him to do everything around the house for me.

    Our daughter's now been hospitalized twice in June, her husband 'returned' her to us prior to this latest hospitalization.

    If you'd like, send a few prayers for our safe trip and a long stay for my daughter. She desperately needs this right now and she's in a wonderful environment that's healthy for her.

    Hugs all,

    [This Message was Edited on 07/09/2008]
  2. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    Of course I will pray for you and your family....you are such good parents to your daughter and she is needy right now. My mother-in-law says you always go to the one who needs you the most, and she is pretty wise. Anyway, I hope your daughter's treatments really help her and that you have a safe trip.

    God bless,
  3. Didoe

    Didoe New Member

    May G-d bless all of you with enough strength, courage and love to see you through now and years to come.
  4. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    For your prayers and thoughtful words...

    Seeing her at this hospital was an experience I'll never forget and a day to treasure.

    Somehow, I think we did everything right...the suitcase full of new clothing I brought was like watching a kid at Christmas. She was thrilled with everything and all of it fit her. (I'm guessing she's gained 100 pounds since being put on Seroquel and they've recently tripled the dosage)

    She showed us around the hospital and took us to all of her favorite places while introducing us to her friends.

    Her dermatitis condition on her hands and feet is beginning to heal since she went to a British dermatologist. So I spent probably 2 hours rubbing and massaging the creams into her feet. (I had forgotten about the hands though)

    She enjoyed the human touch again, we always spend time on pedicures when she's here, she can no longer reach her feet.

    We spent time with her and her friends in the garden, had lunch with her and even shopped in the gift shop.

    It wasn't until later that I realized that we did everything about her...we didn't try to pull her into our world, just stayed with her in her world and completely enjoyed the serenity they've created in this hospital.

    For those not reading the 'To Do List' thread, I honestly felt that her life was on the line. She had harmed herself in my house while talking to me about needing mustard and canned peaches and putting them on my shopping list.

    This was while I was injured from my torn quadracept muscle and couldn't walk without crutches.

    She was hospitalized again at Landstuhl and they released her much too early to her husband who managed to have her cutting again after he went back to work. He took the week off that she was released but had her at the golf course for 18 holes the day after her release. Not exactly what she needed.

    He 'returned' her to us saying he couldn't take it anymore after she harmed herself again.

    So I was very proud of her for requesting long term hospitalization and they found the perfect place for her.

    I'm still hoping she can stay for a few more weeks, she needs the peace this place brings her and the healthy classes they provide each day.

    If so, I'll probably go back and visit in a week.

    Hugs all,

  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    very encouraging news, Nancy. Glad to hear the good report.

    Does her therapist tell her the goal is progress, not perfection? (12 step slogan.)

    Best wishes for all of you.

  6. justlooking

    justlooking New Member

    My heart bleeds for you and your daughter. Dealing with any sort of Mental Health disease is exhausting to a family. The stress of it can rip a family apart, yet somehow despite the struggles you are going through, you seem to maintain a positive outlook and a promise and sincere dedication to get your daughter through anything.

    I realize that is our job as parents but the difference is the attitude with which you persevere with. You are quite a lady and mother!!!

    I have a teenage daughter who suffers from Major Depressive disorder. She was hospitalized once due to a suicide threat. It was the most stressful experience of my life. Luckily she was in school and living at home, which allowed us to watch over her, but I can only imagine how much more stress is added when your child grows up and moves out. Making sure they are being taken care of or taking care of themselves is harder to do.

    I will pray for all of you.

  7. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    My heartfelt prayers and best wishes to you and your husband for a safe trip and comfort during this stressful time and your dear daughter for improved health and well being.

    Love, Erika
  8. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    Nancy- I'm relieved to hear your trip went well and that Katy is getting the help she needs. I'll keep you all in my prayers......

  9. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    It sounds like she is in a good place, but this must be so hard on you and your husband.

    I just pray that she will find some help this time and that she may have enough time there to feel some peace and some rest.

    It's been a long road for all of you. Is her husband just giving up or was he just not able to deal with the issue right now? That's a bit worrisome to me right now.

    My best to all of you...hoping for a very good outcome this time.

  10. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    Sending out prayers your way for your daughter...happy to hear she has found this beautiful place to recuperate in..you are such good parents...may God continue to give you the strength to see this through, may your daughter have a complete recovery to health, peace and happiness.

    God Bless
  11. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Again for the wonderfully kind words of support and prayers.

    Sue, he just really 'returned' her to us and even told her it was for long term.

    In so many ways this is a good thing, all he had to do was love her, be kind and considerate and make sure she got her meds but hasn't done any of those things. He won't even 'be loving' to her because she's fat and I think that hurts her most of all.

    She is not spending her time missing him though, so that's a good thing. She's really concentrating on herself and her wellness.

    I'm a bit worried today, she was 'off' yesterday but she did recognize it and was going to speak to someone about it. She's on so many meds that even the doctors there are surprised that she can function at all.

    But she's there and they can look after her. Her feet and lower legs are very swollen so her latest increase in Lithium may be causing some problems. I'm just so glad they can treat her medically as well as the psychiatric symptoms while she's there.

    The dermatological condition on her feet was so bad she had cracks in her feet that were bleeding, even when she walked to the bathroom. That's why I spent so much time on massaging the creams into them. They had looked so bad it just broke my heart.

    But her husband complained in marriage councelling (which was a condition of the Landstuhl release) that she can't even walk a 12K hike with him....huh? He's never walked a hike in his life! He also complained that she's so fat she can't keep up with him when he walks....he's just the most inconsiderate man I've met in many years.

    JL, my daughter hid her illness so well when she was a teen and lived with us. It's amazing how well she was able to hide her pain.

    But you're right, it's so much harder when they reach legal adult status, but our love and support has remained constant and she knows she's free to be who she is with us and we'll love her unconditionally.

    And for those wondering, she has Borderline Personality Disorder which has made a turn for the worse and she's now Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar. She has no relief from symptoms and can cycle in hours, or minutes but never a day off. It's the most difficult form of the disease to treat.


  12. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member


    Just wanted to say hello and let you know that I hope things are getting a little better. My continued thoughts and prayers are with you all.

    Love, Erika
  13. sisland

    sisland New Member

    You and Daughter are in my prayers also!,,,,HUgs! Sis
  14. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    I've been quietly following your daughter's story. I really feel for both of you. It's so hard to have a sick kid! I know.

    I just wanted to mention that SSRIs can cause rapid cycling MD illness and/or mania. When you spoke about her being able to hide her illness when she was younger it made me think. I don't know if she's on any SSRIs -- probably not. Just had to mention.

    Here the info: http://www.neurotransmitter.net/admania.html

    You're a really good mom. Your poor wee girl has really been through a rough time. It can only get better now that she does not have to deal with a partner who was really not helpful.

    All the best to you both. Things will get better.

  15. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Rafiki, you bring up a very valid point...she is on Prozac too which I wanted her off of months ago. (She was actually lactating which is one of the side effects.)

    This child seems to get every bad symptom that medicines can bring. She's now being weaned off the Lithium which has caused her OCD symptoms to come back, caused very high blood pressure and we think the swollen feet and legs.

    Her OCD symptoms are not simply, "I must wash my hands" but more like I want to hurt myself...constantly.

    I think I'll mention the Prozac to the nurses this morning when I make my daily call to her. Since her husband is no help, she has no advocate to help her through this.

    On a side note, Ron Wood of the Rolling Stones has checked himself back into rehab and I'm wondering if he's back at the Priory. He was in this hospital the week before she got there and ran off with another 18 yr old patient.

    Since all of her friends seem to be leaving this week, we've been joking that Ron Wood might be checking back in so be on the look out at the smoking area!

    This is a very famous hospital in London....but our choices for an English speaking psychiatric hospital here in Germany are few.

    But it is a very good hospital and they've been taking very good care of her.

    I'm leaving again on Saturday for another visit, but this time by myself.

    Hugs all,

  16. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    Well, check out the link and the timeline and see if her symptoms changed, or worsened, on the Prozac.

    I've never had clinical depression but was nearly diagnosed bipolar when on SSRIs which I was taking for fatigue. It's a very slippery slope.

    I have a child with a mental illness -- anorexia nervosa -- it's so very hard not to be able to fix it.

    It seems that you, like us, have not lost your sense of humour. We (my kid and I) are often surprised at just what we can/must laugh at. Others would be shocked, I'm sure.

    Sorting out the med.s could give you a much clearer picture of what she must deal with. So glad she's being treated in such a good place!

    Remember all the people who have had these kinds of horrible painful breaks and come back better than ever - literally!

    Smile, breathe and go slowly,