I'M PSYCHIC!! -- I 'SEE' y'all LAUGHING at these JOKES

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Nov 6, 2007.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    A little late for Halloween, but...


    He keeps shaking a black 'crystal ball' and says, "Ask again later."

    Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"

    Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last week.

    His idea of an "out of body experience" involves whipped cream and women's clothing.

    His spoon bending requires two pliers.

    Sign in window: "As Seen on '60 Minutes."

    During card-reading, asks if you want to "hit" or "stand."

    Insists that your astrological sign is "The Armadillo."

    Psychics Magazine rates your 'advisor' just below fortune cookies, just above your mom.

    Repeatedly attempts to read your palm with his genitalia.

    Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.


    Biff went to a storefront psychic for some spiritual guidance as it seemed he'd a bit of bad luck lately.

    "There seems to be a horrible, dark cloud surrounding me," he told her.

    "I know," said the psychic, "and for $100, I can rid you of it."

    Biff thought the fee was high, but, eager to be cured, he handed over the money to the psychic. After pocketing the fee, the psychic then pulled out a book of matches and lit one.

    While the match caught fire and started to burn brightly, Biff asked, "What do you call this dark and horrible curse?"

    The psychic waved the match down behind Biff and said, "Mexican food...."


    Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. -- Steven Wright

    [This Message was Edited on 11/06/2007]
  2. victoria

    victoria New Member

    no replies...

    I guess I am a lousy psychic...

  3. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    I'm to busy groaning to reply!

    I figure if the psychic is any good, they'll call me!