I'm losing my mental acuity. I'm deeply upset over the loss of something that is very important to me - my intelligence. I have never been a terribly active person; I don't desire to climb Mt. Everest or run a marathon. I hated PE and ballet and all aerobics did was wear me out. In looking back I wonder if I have had this DD most of my life. So the inability to row from California to Hawaii doesn't upset me. But losing my brains do (does? see, I can't even remember grammar anymore). I stumble and stammer over words when I speak to my customers and I sound like an idiot. My spelling is declining and the only reason my handwriting isn't atrocious is because it has always been atrocious. I graduated in the top 10% of my HS class, went back to school when I was 30 and graduated Magna Cum Laude at 37. I worked on my masters, got divorced at 40, picked up a few computer tricks and 3 years later was a highly paid Technical Support Analyst. I was given kudos and compliments from co-workers, bosses, and customers. If I didn't know how to do something I asked for a book and an hour and I would figure it out. I'm not bragging, I'm crying, I'm devastated. I can't do this anymore. My attention span is worse than a gnat. I can't focus on the products I'm being paid to support. When I can halfway focus, I can't retain what I'm learning. I can't concentrate to study for my latest certification tests. I was all excited about going back for my masters and that is impossible right now. I used to LOVE what I did and I was good at it. I couldn't wait to get to work and dig into customer's problems. Now it is like there is something in the way while I try to think and it won't go away. And if that isn't bad enough, I was having a really good day today courtesy of some darvocet when around 4:00 the Mack truck ran over me and dragged me down the hall. I had to come home and on the way home I thought "all I want to do is crawl into bed. I don't care if they fire me, I don't care what anyone does, I just have to crawl into bed". I slept for 3 hours and now I feel "normal bad' not 'Mack truck bad' (does that make sense)? As wonderful as they have been at work, I'm not sure 3 hour naps throughout the day is going to fly. I work in a "live" business. Anyway, I'm sorry, I started rambling. I'm literally losing the mind God gave me and I hate it, I just hate it. I want it back.