I am having a bad day. I don't know what I can do and I hate the fact that I can't anticipate how I will feel tomorrow. Before all this crap started I worked 50 hours a week with no problem, was able to come home and clean, and take care of my husband. My work is my life. I have to maintain this job until my husband finishes school and finds a good job to take over the benefits. I feel like there is a lot of pressure on me. I love my job too but it is very hard to function. I just got back from 6 week medical leave due to surgery and looked great for a few days and am now falling down again. My boss is a good boss but he doesnt understand. I think everyone thought that my illness were all related to my ovaries which is why I had surgery and that when I came back, I would feel great and be able to work a ton again. Maybe I thought that too. I actually started to feel a little better by my last week off and had energy to be with my hubby at night but now that I am back to work and on a early morning routine, I am feeling bad again. I mentioned CFS to my boss and he said "Oh we all get fatigued in this business". sigh. I havent gotten my diagnosis yet but am very close. Maybe after I get the diagnosis I will have my doctor help me with some restrictions for work such as no overtime or reduced hours. But I am afraid of losing my job. I feel like such a failure and dissappointment to everyone. The really scary thing is that I have forgotten what it feels like to feel completely good.