I'm so sad....son just graduated from Kindergarten

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by kjade, Jun 3, 2008.

  1. kjade

    kjade New Member

    Today was my middle son's last day of school....it came too fast for me. I knew as I packed his book bag last night, that it would be the last time I would ever pack his bag for Kindergarten. I just didn't realize how hard it would be to empty that same book bag today.....rifling through his report card, and notes from the teacher, and all the beautiful artwork...... I don't know why, but a huge wave of sadness hit me at that moment.

    My son went into Kindergaren this year at a disadvatage, compared to most of the other kids. Because my husband & I work full-time, it was not possible for us to enroll him in Pre-school, like many of the other kids in the community. Nor could we afford it.

    Also, he is just like me....very shy, withdrawn...I was concerned about him going to school and how he would handle it all, knowing the way he is. He is also very stubborn, and only listens to what he wants to hear.

    At the pre-K screening last summer, the counselors told me he was way behind where he should be (which....whatever! Schools have changed so much since I was a kid - when I went to Kindergarten, we colored and ate snacks and took naps! Not anymore!) They are expected to know so much more now, which is not fair to a child who never had pre-school, which I blamed myself for.

    At the beginning of the year he was placed in a "special reading program" since he could not read and didn't know his letters by sight or how to write them. I knew at the time that was ridiculous because he is actually extremely intelligent. He can figure out any video game, any remote control....he has amazed us with his mechanical brain since he was a toddler. But he is so quiet....

    Throughout the year, he kept progressing, but still could not write as perfectly as "they" required him to. Anyway, it has been a long rough year.....this was the 1st year I had 2 kids in school, and I had a hard time keeping up with everything.

    I am so proud of my son....he EXCELLED when all was said and done. The teacher showed me these charts they use, and on just one of them, he had improved 350% from the beginning of the year. And....he is off to 1st grade next year! The only "satisfactory" grade he rec'd on his report card was for self-confidence. All other marks were Outstanding.

    This all still did not stop my heart from breaking and it did not stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks as I emptied that book bag for his last day as a Kindergartner. He will never be my baby again.....it is so hard to face that.

    Sorry to ramble....I just needed to get that out somehow. But I am still so sad.....
  2. bevy2most

    bevy2most New Member

    only too well, my eldest just graduated college, sigh, so proud. My middle one serves in the Army, and the baby, is graduating middle school tomorrow.

    It seems to have flown by so quickly.

    Be proud of your children, and hug them and kiss them as much as possible.

  3. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Those were the days. I remember them well. I even remember when the first of 5 children went off to kindergarten and what she wore. Things are so different as you said since we all went to k and especially me for one . It was like preschool now.

    Any child that doesn't go to preschool does start at a disadvantage as so many women now work and need daycare. More daycares are also like school and they learn stuff we learned much later in our school days. I know what you mean with my 6 year old grandson who just finished Kindergarten. He also has been battling cancer (leukemia).. My daughter found that out about 2 years ago when she separated from her x and left him and almost the same time found out about dear little Jake. He also lives with his older brother (middle son) who is has LD's. I imagine some of this was also copying and doing some of the same things he has seen done. He needed school badly. I guess he did OK in the end.

    He was also old for his age (almost 6 when he started) but hadn't been to much preschool for many reasons, one of them money,too like you. He learned alot in Kindergarten including the fact that he couldn't just leave school all by himself cause he felt like it. My daughter has alot of problems inc some of the children but she is doing her best. The oldest is with the dad who is lazy and the oldest just graduated HS, not even sure what he is going to do .

    Sorry to get of the track but your little one was ready and graduated from Kindergarten and that is so wonderful. That is a very good start for him and especially doing so well. You will always remember his irst and last day of K plus all the many other milestones to come.

    Congraduations to your son and yourself too Mom. You did good !! I still think of mine at that age with a slight tear in my eye. It is so heartwarming.


  4. lgp

    lgp Well-Known Member

    We've all been there--but that doesn't make it any easier or the tears flow less!! It seems that all the 'firsts' are also 'last times'for us as our 'babies' move on. But just think, 350% improvement, hes's exceded everything you could have wanted or expected from him!!!

    It is so hard to let go, especially when they are so little. I think I mentioned somewhere in a previous post when on the twin's first day of nursery school, I actually climbed up on the classroom window sill ( I had to pull my car up to the building and stand on my bumper to boost myself up) to peek in to see if they were okay. Somewhere in my demented head, I thought this was okay. I was tersely told by the teacher to just go home, thank God. But as mothers, we feel these things...

    I wanted to mention to you that I also think the whole nursery school hype is ridiculous. I also think the emphasis on academics in nursery/Pre-K is a little overkill as well. It is the perfect,opportune time for children to primarily work on their social skills--sharing, interaction, playing nicely, patience with others etc. They have the rest of their days for academic pressures, and believe me,by today's standards, those pressures are insanely intense--advanced classes, AP classes, and so on.

    Oh and BTW, he will ALWAYS be your baby--you just can't show it so much on the outside anymore, or he will want to kill you!! This is only the beginning of him making you proud of his accomplishments. Going through the bookbag can be tough as you look at all his little pieces of work. Make sure you save them, they will come to mean even more to you as the years pass.

    I remember a very wise, older woman first grade religious ed teacher emphasizing to us parents to take it easy, not sweat the small stuff, and remember that the children learned an abundance from their parents, not just school. She distributed a poem, Author Unknown, and I always saved it because it spoke volumes to me. I dug it out for you. Here goes:


    When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint another one.

    When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

    When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake just for me, and I knew that little things are special things.

    When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I believed there is a God I could always talk to.

    When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me good night, and I felt loved.

    When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, and it's all right to cry.

    When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

    When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked....and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.

    Your son will learn many things in school, but he will also learn from you and your family. Cheer him on for his academic accomplishments, try to suppress the tears--kids hate that--and remember many of his most valuable lessons will come from you. He wouldn't have been able to excel so quickly if he didn't have assurances and a solid foundation from you and hubby. Try not to be sad, revel in his accomplishments and be proud of yourself for a job well done!!


    [This Message was Edited on 06/03/2008]
  5. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    I agree totally about all this pre K hype and stuff . They are also making alot of money out of it with tapes to play to your baby before it is even born yet.

    Yes, in K we learned to play with each other, share, etc, etc. and not have to worry about learning to read YET. Everything - actually too much is excellerated on what they learned. They also know about sex in 3rd grade probably becuase of all the - - - - on TV etc. Don't get me started on tht business. Thatis why I hardly ever watch TV anymore. There are a few shows but not a whole lot. They even learn what they shouldn't be learning and little ones dressing like Hannah Montana or whoever is in this week.

    Oh well, no one has asked me anything so i am stuck with what is going on in the outside world . Oh dear !!

    Hugs to you and all,


    The little ones also are allowed to stay up till all hours in many households and see all this stuff. AAACK !!
  6. sisland

    sisland New Member

    You are such a Great MoM! Your Son is so lucky to have a Mom like you!,,,,,He will continue to excell every year and will Amaze you by the end!,,,,,My 2 oldest girls got held back in 2nd grade (For Maturity Reasons) was the excuse,,,,,,,,,

    Well they turned out to be 3.8-4.0 students because of it!,,,,,,,,,Hug him everyday and tell Him What a great job he's doing in every aspect of his life and he will excell more and More!,,,,,,,Hugs!!,,,,,Sis
  7. fibromickster

    fibromickster New Member

    I definetly remember those years and wish so much I could have them back. I now have my oldest graduating from High School and she will be leaving for college in the Fall. I will really need all you guys then.

    However, I do remember the Kindergarten. She didn't go to preschool either, however, excelled like you son did. At that age it just comes to them so so fast. I can't believe they put that much pressure on kids starting kindergarten nowadays. That is rediculous.

    Now my daugher is graduating Suma La Caude, one the highest in her class. She didn't need preschool after all. LOL

  8. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    I didn't mean to steal your thread. It doesn't take alot for me to get off the track. As you can also see I have other things on my mind.

    Hugs and blessings to you all (esp that BIG boy that just graduated )

  9. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    Kjade - so nice to see yu post again...

    yes, its hard to see your little boy grow up...but nice to think they are doing so while youre still around and taking those steps leading to independence ...like someone said he is still in the age when you can hug him tight and kiss him ...i know youre taking lots of photos and savouring the experience of mommahood

    God Bless
  10. kjade

    kjade New Member

    You are all so very kind to me! Thank you so much for your warm thoughts....no one ever told me this parenting stuff was going to be a walk in the park, that's for sure!

    Bevy: wow - it looks like you are in the same boat as me with all these big graduations! Congrats to you and your children...you must be very proud! I pray my kids go to college one day....I never got to finish. No one in my family ever has. Great job mom!

    Granni: Thanks so much for reminding me about what is important. I always love your stories, and I appreciate you sharing with me. I like your feisty attitude! I am glad others agree with me that the "system" is making things a little too hard for the little ones now. But I must add that my son (the K grad) does actually know much more than my older son who went to Catholic school for Kindergarten, and the older one went all day! The younger one only went 1/2 days because they actually charge tuition for full day public Kindergarten here, and we simply couldn't afford it. When my oldest went to 1st grade at public school, they told us he was waaaaayyyy behind where he should be for 1st grade! Well, he is doing fine and is off to 4th grade next year. Guess he wasn't so far behind after all....he is very smart, but has trouble with behavior....I am predicting right now that he will be the class clown in high school....he is a prankster. My those 2 are so different!!

    Laura: As always, such excellent words from you....I always feel like you are a big sister to me! Yes, it is hard to let go.....but from the time they are born, we were always excited for the next step...we couldn't wait for them to walk, and when they did we were sorry we were so excited for that! We couldn't wait until they were out of diapers or said their 1st words (until they would not shut up! lol!) And now as they are getting older, I long for my babies - my oldest son will no longer hold my hand (he is NINE you know....that just ain't COOL to him). Your poem that you shared was so beautiful....I was crying when I read that. Thank you so much for that. It really puts things in perspective.

    Sisland: Thank you so much....you have no idea how much what you wrote meant to me! You are a sweetie! And YOU should be so proud as well of your daughters! (but I know you already are!)

    Mickey: Aww...I can only imagine how hard it is to see your child graduate from high school! If I get this upset about Kindergarten, what will I do then!! I do constantly have to remind myself to put all of the daily pains of parenting aside and cherish every single moment....it does go by way too fast. I still remember when my oldest was born like it was yesterday. At least I get to go through all of this again with my daughter (she's only 2 now) - THAT will be very hard, unless we are blessed with any more children. Geez, I would have 10 babies if we could afford it. And you too must be so proud of your daughter! Suma La Caude! (to be honest I don't know what that is, but it sounds mighty important! Remember I didn't finish college! LOL!) And no pre-school, huh? See....it's really pointless after all. Why can't they just let kids be kids while they are little? And you know where to find us when you need that shoulder in the fall.

    Granni: I don't want to sound like a dope, but what does "et all" mean? I never understood that phrase, and see you have used it here. Just curious....thanks!

    springwater: Nice to hear from you too! How have you been? Well I hope? I have been so busy, and I don't like it....the days turn into months, and I don't have the time anymore to absorb anything much! Yes, I still enjoy the hugs, kisses, and I love you's I still get from my children. It seems that when they start losing their teeth is when they start to develop a mouth (at least that has been my experience thus far!) As I write, middle son has only lost 2 teeth, so he's still mine for awhile!! And you can bet the farm that there are enough pics and vids of these kids to fill a museum! You know my hobbies!!

    Thanks all----you brightened my day (as always!)
  11. momof471

    momof471 New Member

    My daughter had her Kindergarten graduation yesterday. All of the children looked so nice dressed in their Sunday best, for their big day!

    They looked so scared when they came in, but so proud when thay had said their poem about what they had learned this year.

    When my daughter began this year all she knew was how to write her name and how to recite the Alphabet. I was so nervous for her as she didn't have preschool either.

    Thankfully she had a fantastic teacher who loves her job and loves the children and this shows in how successful she was this year.

    A 3 is the higest mark and she received these in all areas. She can sit down and read certain books and it totally amazes me!

    She is the youngest of four girls and it is so hard to watch them grow up, she will always be my baby.

    I will miss all of the projects they do in Kindergarten and how she comes home every day and takes them one by one out of her backpack and proudly shows me the treasures she has made. Its is such a special time.

    I'm so happy for you that your son had such a great year! It is hard watching them grow up, but he will ALWAYS be your baby and will always need you!

    God BLess
  12. kjade

    kjade New Member

    Awwww - that was a lovely story about your daughter! Since she is the baby, are you really sad that you will never go through Kindergarten again?

    My son had a WONDERFUL teacher too....she really did a great job. She too was concerned about his shyness at the beginning of the year, but she noticed (as I did) how he slowly came out of his shell as the year went on. He is definitely changed for the better. I too am amazed with how much he has learned.

    We will probably need to come back in 12 years and cry over their HS graduation!
  13. 4everkid

    4everkid New Member

    Kjade, you sound like me. First day of school, last day of school...everything made me tear up. Band concerts, orchestra, choir, cheerleading...all tear inducing. Wait till they graduate from high school, and you know you have only a few months left to hang on to them. It's hard. You will bawl like a big baby! But if you did your job right, they never really leave, they just don't live in the same house.

    I would give anything to have my kids be kids for a day again, just for fun. But then, I would end up crying at the end of that day, just having to watch them grow up all over again.

    At the risk of sounding cliche, they really do grow up fast. It seems like childhood is fleeting when you are the Mom and it's your own kids. So soak up every second of it, and have a good cry with every milestone. It's pride driving the tears... that your little baby has accomplished something so amazing. There is always that underlying fear that they will grow up and no longer need you someday. But don't worry, they always will.

    Congrats to your son! It sounds like he learned a LOT in Kindergarten and is ready to take on the world! All the praise over this will help build his self-confidence. He will still be your baby though, even 20, 30, 40 years from now - he will just be in a bigger package.
  14. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Kjade - as I understand it, "et al" means and all or everyone. It sounds to me like it may be french but I am not sure. I hope that clears tht one up for you.

    I had never heard of it before I got onto these boards. There are a few that use it quiet a bit especially on the POrch.

    Hugs and blessings to you,


  15. momof471

    momof471 New Member

    it is hard to see her moving on, but in a way its good.

    When I first got sick she had just turned 2 and she had to grow up really fast.

    I feel like I can be a better mother when they are a little more self sufficient and the actual physical part of taking care of a little one doesn't exhaust me to the point I can't actually have the energy to bond and spend quality time with them.

    That being said, I will definately miss the younger years, they are so sweet and loving and absolutely precious...especially while sleeping, Ha Ha!!!

    So, many mixed emotions, but all of my girls will Always be my baby's, I dread the day when they leave the nest!

    God Bless