I'm so unhappy...vent

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by babyblues68, Jun 16, 2003.

  1. babyblues68

    babyblues68 New Member

    I don't know if any of you remember me, but I used to post here a few months ago. I've gotten to where I don't know where to turn. My doctor has freaked out on me. His staff acts like I'm a hyporcondriact(sp) and are very rude to me. I had a EMG done last month because my left arm kept going numb. They preformed this on both arms and neck. The arm with no complaint hurt like hell when they gave me the elec shock. The arm I complained about didn't feel a thing including my neck. When I went in I had NO neck pain. Now it's severe and I'm having constant migrains. I hopefully go for a MRI this week. The nurse keeps putting me off with my precert for the MRI. Ins says they haven't called them yet. I'm also having the same problem with my hip and leg now, but the doctor said he couldn't ask for a full MRI...they might not cover it...What the hell is that about...I have great insurance and I'm in pain.

    How do I get help? It seems every doctor I see now just brushes me under the rug. I have fibro stamped on my forhead and doctor's won't touch me. I'm also under so much stress at home that I can not avoid.

    I'm so sick of being in this damn body. I know I should be thankful for what I can do. I just feel I'm dying at 35 and my poor kids (4&5)are sick of me saying mommy can't do this because I'm sick.

    Thank you for listening....I'm just so down today

    [This Message was Edited on 06/16/2003]
  2. LeLeHpr

    LeLeHpr New Member

    Been there and done that with Doctors..How about writing a letter explaining the treatment you are receiving not only to your insurance provider but also the State explaining your doc is not properly treating your pain...That is grounds for a law suit.

    Best wishes,

  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    That if you can't get some relief for your pain, you are going to end up in the ER one of these nights. Talk with your doc and tell him that he is not addressing your pain and concerns and that you are legally entitled to relief for you pain. Good luck to you.

    Love, Mikie
  4. babyblues68

    babyblues68 New Member

    Proactive is what got me here. My doctor did not take to kindly to me wanting more involvement in my health issues. He was fine as long as I just took the pain meds and kept my mouth shut. Well the pain meds don't work on all of my pain. He had me on 15 different meds....I'm down to 5 now, because of my doings not his. But then he'll turn around and say something like...we'll you know these can be addictive. Well hell I'm in pain...and if he wants to complain about the meds I'm on don't give them to me. I've told him I AM OPEN TO ANYTHING any kind of treatment at this point I'm willing!!! I felt I was so toxic. Even my pharmacist made mention about all the meds I was given. I told my doctor I'm tired of just treating the symptoms of my problems. It seems like when I have other things wrong with me He's too quick to just say....well your fibro is acting up.

    I didn't think about letters. I'll get on that. Maybe someone will listen.

    Thanks again for listenig to me

  5. Stillkicking

    Stillkicking New Member

    Tammy, I don't know that this will help you, but maybe something I say will make sense. Your neck pain, numbness, migraine and other problems maybe related to the same cause. If you are going to get a MRI or cat scan get one of the cervical spine and also of your nose and sinuses. Migraine headaches can be caused by a nasal problem called deviated septum or nasal septal spur which is inside your nose and you can not see. If you have had a facial injury, even a minor one which you do not remember, you could have developed this problem.
    The septal deviation causes pain and because of the very sensitive area this pain is referred to other areas like the neck. This starts a chain reaction with nerves and muscles being involved all over the body. The numbness you feel is probably because the tightened muscles have caused a pinched nerve effect in the neck. Massage will help until you can find the cause.
  6. catgal

    catgal New Member

    Hi Tammy~~I had the same problems with doctors for decades. I'm 54 and have had FM/CFS since my teens. Even the rheumys that diagnosed me with FM/CFS through the years refused to help me. Other physicians looked at me like all I wanted was drugs, or they told me there was no such thing as fibromyaglia. I felt all the anger, frustration, and humiliation. And, consequently, I quit going to doctors & specialists and suffered needlessly all these many years.

    It wasn't until three years ago when I woke up one morning and couldn't get out of bed that things changed. My back had hurt for years, but I was so used to the aching & pain of the FM--I just thought that was what it was. But, it felt like someone had pounded my back with a sledgehammer over & over until I couldn't move.

    I was taken to the local hospital where they took x-rays and then ordered an MRI. The MRI showed I had advanced degenerative disc disease, 3 discs completely degenerated, a shattered vertebrae, rheumatoid arthritis, nerve damage, and multiple other back problems. And as miserable as I was--it was such a RELIEF to have "visible evidence" that something was wrong with me. And it's pathetic for the medical community to drive us to that type of thinking.

    However, for the first time--I got help. After trying traditional and alternative remedies with no success (except for acupuncture which worked a miracle), I was finally put on narcotic pain management which also helped the pain of the FM. But to this day when I fill in medical papers or the doctor asks for medical history, and I mention I have FM/CFS--they completely ignore it. It is never discussed or mentioned. Among all my "legitimate" ailments that can be validated by tests--my FM is like a bastard at a family reunion. My Orthopedist actually laughed right in my face when I told him I also had FM--and he told me that FM was a label that was put on neurotics--that there was no such thing as Fibromyalgia. I never went back to see him even though I am supposed to see him for my back problems. Although I hate what all these other illnesses have done to my body--I am at least receiving meds now that stop the FM pain too, and that is all I care about.

    I know the despondency you feel in not getting adequate medical help--the looks you get, the way you're treated, and the stress you get caused by the ignorance of the medical community. But, in this day and time there are doctors out there now who recognize FM, are knowledgeable about it, and can help you. You just have to be persistent and search for them. Do not allow yourself to suffer for years so needlessly as I had to. You are young with a great deal of life ahead of you, and you deserve proper care--not to mention that you have two children depending on you.

    Back in my early years, not much was known about FM--and it was even called by several different names. However, now there is tons of information on FM that you can take with you--including a patient's right to pain relief. Younger doctors may be more open to working with FM patients than older docs who are set in their ways and beliefs.

    You will have to become your own advocate, and if you are not getting the care you need from a physician--tell him this and that you are terminating his services in search of a physician who is willing to help you. If necessary, write your insurance company and tell him why it is essential you find a physician knowledgeable about FM. You pay alot of money for medical services to benefit you--not to be pushed around or ridiculed. Another thing, I work in a hospital, and I know many doctors do not like dealing with chronically ill patients because they want a "cure record". Many won't treat chronically ill patients with narcotic pain management due to the monitoring of narcotic scrips by the DEA. You might try a Pain Specialist as they don't seem to have those problems and are willing to refer you to additional specialists to help you.

    I hope you get to feeling better, and that tomorrow your spirits are lifted, and God gives you something to smile about. Best Wishes and Blessings to you. Carol....
  7. ChiaPet

    ChiaPet New Member

    I can understand your frusteration.Y'know what the first doctor I went to told me it was?"GROWING PAINS"(I was 17 at the time)And you wouldnt believe how much money it cost for him to tell me that.

    But DONT GIVE UP.You will find a doctor that will help you.There are some good ones out there.Keep trying.
  8. babyblues68

    babyblues68 New Member

    Stillkicking...I love your name. My MRI is for the cervical spine. Hopefully I will have it done soon. It should have been scheduled over 3 weeks ago. I even went in to the doctor because I could get him on the phone. He said he had no notes that I called to talk to him or for refills. His staff tend to play doctor. Hopefully I will find something from this..If I ever get in. I'll try to get in for a massage...maybe that will help until I get in.

    Carol Thank you for your warm response. Hopefully one day the whole medical community will aknowledge us.

  9. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    I always want to have various tests on my body
    at once and insurance won't cover it that way.
    You can ask your dr. to send you for two
    Mri's. It's a pain but your insurance should cover
    it if it is two different times and you say your insurance
    is good.

    Good Luck
  10. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    I found your post quite interesting.

    I have deviated nasal septum and also nasal
    spurs and a rare disorder called Sluder's Syndrome.
    All of this together results in temple headaches,
    nausea from pain, facial pain and tingling and

    My CT scan came back CLEAR!!! The ENT told
    me all of this by his eye. He told me that most
    likely I was born with the spurs or else from
    an early injury.

    I didn't know about the neck, stuff. Etc. I had
    a really bad time of it for a few months when
    I was first diagnosed but it seems to have
    lessened. I also used to get very dizzy when
    eating and my ENT said he wasn't surprised!

    Thanks for the info on this.

    [This Message was Edited on 06/16/2003]
  11. babyblues68

    babyblues68 New Member

    Thank you lady blu...your right I did make it out of bed today! It could be worse. I just get so down when I have to deal with the doctors. DAMN why do doctors have to be so insensetive. If I'm just in my little world with DH, I'm ok. He's VERY supportive. I'd called it quits if it wasn't for his understanding support.

    What state am I in....Well I've had about 4 hrs sleep in 2 1/2 days. I take soma for sleep. I've also taken phenagren with my migrain meds, which usually knock me out. I hate going thru this no sleep!!!! My meds had been working for sleep for quite a while. Now it's like I'm a zombie.

    Thank you all for being here. I know nobody in my daily life really know what I go thru, but you all do.


  12. Stillkicking

    Stillkicking New Member

    So many of those with FM/CFS have nasal/sinus problems, but doctors always try to make patients take allergy medication and ignore the structural abnormalities which cause such problems.

    There also are nasal changes which take place when people age. This may cause many of the problems of old age that are similar to FM, but seniors bodies make more of the natural pain relievers to compensate.

    If you have found the source of your problem is nasal/sinus, this doesn't mean you are going to get good treatment. It's been quiet a struggle to find a helpful, knowledgable ENT doctor. I went to four real dumbasses before I found a nice one. It's too bad that sick people have to struggle so much to help themselves.
  13. grannyofalot

    grannyofalot New Member

    Is this the same dr. that you were singing the praises of a month ago? I took your advice and have seen him twice. He seemed very understanding of my fibro, and even seemed to be sympathetic when I told him I cannot take the "pain" meds or muscle relaxants that some other fibro patients take. He did take me off the vioxx (for arthritis) and gave me lots of samples of Bextra and Mobic to try. He ran a "ton" of blood tests, and has found several other medical problems that no one else had found (or maybe they weren't around then). Anyway, he's sent me for a battery of cardiac tests and when he still wasn't happy with those, he sent me today to a cardiologist. I have a "low kidney function", whatever that means, and he is addressing that as well. In other words, he seems to be doing everything he can to get put this old Humpty Dumpty back together again.

    So far, the staff has been very sweet to me, but I am getting a little frustrated trying to get the results of some abdominal and kidney ultrasounds that I had taken last week. I will try again tomorrow to get them to call me... You'll be hearing from me if they get "cranky" with me. lol!

    I'll pray that things start looking up for you soon! It is very good that you have a supportive husband. You'd better hold on to that one. ;) If you need an listening ear, you know where to reach me. And, I still think we need a support group in the Memphis area.

    Soft fibro hugs to you, Sweetie!

  14. babyblues68

    babyblues68 New Member

    Yes this is the same one. I've been seeing him for a little over a year now and it's gotten worse. If you'd like to email me I'll explain to you further. From the post from dogdazed I don't feel comfortable to post here anymore.

    [This Message was Edited on 06/17/2003]
  15. babyblues68

    babyblues68 New Member

    For your information....I DON'T THINK DOCTORS ARE GODS!!!!!! I USED TO WORK WITH THEM IN THE ER. I know when I need to start thinking of moving on. I have moved from doctor to doctor so many times like a lot of people on this board. I just thought this board was for support and others here understand what I'm going thru. In my post I said VENT. If that's not welcome here then fine!

    Maybe you should realize we're all human beings and if you don't like others venting their feeling about what their going thru then YOU MOVE ON.

    I was so down yesterday and came here and it really made me feel better to come here for some support. Now I feel like I wasted my time for you to tell me pretty much suck it up and move on. Do I not have a right to have feelings about what I'm goin thru. Yes I agree I need to find a new doctor, but it's not like I posted this doctor has treated me like @*@& for a year. He just started this when I finally stood up and started asking more and more questions about my health and his treatment. I am now getting the run around with his staff.

    If this is how it's to be here...Hell I can get this from everyday life, because no one believes in my all in the head damn illness.

  16. thedeuce

    thedeuce New Member

    First, let me say that I am new here...VERY new. This post of yours bothers me...and below I'll explain why.

    Quick recap, my wife suffers from FMS, near as we can tell. Amazingly, she basically diagnosed herself since no doc she'd come into contact with seemed to actually want to test her for anything...just dole out the meds and 'pay your copay as you leave'. She found a doc who agreed with her assessment and he put her on a host of meds, hoping that some combination would ease her pain. Well, after many months of doping herself into a state of catatonia, she's begun wondering if her diagnosis is correct and the meds were ever truly what she needed to get by.

    Anyway, I'll get more into this later...I wanted to take the time to respond to this post first.

    - [pulling.... out.... soapbox...]

    Oh, goodie...another soapbox...like my wife doesn't get this pulled out on her enough in 'real' life...from people that actually know her.

    - ["you" used generically]

    Really? Looks like a direct slam of bb68's post to me.

    - This is not likely to be a popular post

    I hope it's not. Isee bb68 didn't care for it, and she was just looking for a shoulder to cry on, from my vantage point.

    - but if it helps even one person get a new perspective on their healthcare providers then it will be worth the risk of the incoming daggers that are sure to follow.

    Telling someone to 'quit yer bitchin' is hardly helpful.

    - Too much energy is wasted on anger towards doctors that could be used to just, well, move on.

    Anger? Maybe some. I hear frustration with a practice that doesn't seem to care very much for her problems...

    - So here's the world according to Dog:

    Oh, goodie...a little condescension, just what a person of 35 neds while suffering pain on a daily basis for no apparent reason.

    - I've read so many complaints about doctors and they are, as they apply to the individual doctor being discussed, legitimate. But for anyone to make sweeping generalizations about all doctors is simply ridiculous. Doctors are human, just like the rest of us.... Aren't there some people you couldn't stand to have as a friend or colleague because your personalities clash? Well, guess what... Same with doctors. So quit griping about it. He's good for some people, just not for you. Move on.

    Sounds like this doc was A) Not her first to attempt to deal with this problem, B) Had been dealing with her for a while and has changed his approach, C) She didn;t say 'all doctors'...she asked, "How do I get help? It seems every doctor I see now just brushes me under the rug. I have fibro stamped on my forhead and doctor's won't touch me."

    Clearly to me, she is questioning the docs she's seen, not all of them.

    - Doctors are human, just like the rest of us.... Aren't there certain subject matters that bore you silly or frustrate the he** out of you to the point where you would prefer to avoid them? Well, guess what... Same with doctors.
    Then, why did he agree to treat her if her condition 'bores' him? What the hell kind of doctor is bored in treating anyone? Sorry, doc, perhaps you chose the wrong profession. Did you miss too many questions on the 'brain surgeon' test and landed here?

    We all have jobs that, in some aspect or another, bore us. You're still expected to do your dead-level best...and in a doctor's case, being bored can allow someone to live a life of pain. Sorry, but that's a cop out.

    - And because most of them are in business for themselves, they get to decide what they want to learn about and

    How would you know this about bb68's doctor? He might be part of a huge practive for all you know.

    - So quit griping about it.

    She can gripe whenever she feels like it. That is a basic understanding in a discussion board, a soft shoulder to cry on when it looks like no one cares nor believes you in the 'real' world.

    - He's good for people with those ailments, not good for you if none of his interests include what ails you. Move on.

    If his interest is not in her health and focused on treating exciting diseases/conditions that interest him...he's got the wrong heart for the profession.

    - Doctors are human, just like the rest of us.... You wouldn't operate a commercial business as a non-profit, would
    you? Well, guess what... Same with doctors. They have to make business decisions to keep their practices profitable so they can stay in business. One of those decisions may have to be not to treat certain illnesses. So quit griping about it. He's not going to work for you either. Move... on....

    So, as a business decision...this doc has decided she isn't profitable? Agani, I see the wrong heart for the profession.

    - No doctor can be all things to all people, even within their specialization. Even the largest conglomerates don't provide every service in their field or make every product in their industry. You have to go to the company that offers what you are looking for. And it may take you a while to walk through the yellow pages to find them. Well guess what. Same with doctors.

    Nothing to add here...except, I expect a doctor to, at the very least, care. If this doc is nt planning on meeting her needs, he should tell her that instead of stringing her along.

    - If you don't like yours, quit griping. And move on.

    A rant, by defintion, IS a gripe...one seeking release from our inner being a perceived injustice, a shout at Heaven for something...ANYTHING...to go right for a change in a cruel world teaming with wrong, an expression of hurt (physical, mental, and spiritual), loss (of youth, health, and well-being) and misunderstanding (I know my wife's pain is real, I'm sure this poster's is, as well).

    If this ain't the place for a rant to be met with understanding and not criticism of FMS, I don't know where that place exists.

    - [getting off of soapbox]

    Good...we need less soapboxes questioning cries for help/support/believing and a lot more compassion, anyway.
  17. Dorothy45

    Dorothy45 New Member

    I knew from the very start, that you just needed to vent. You're only human. I don't mind, and you can vent to me and others as musch as you want. If I am not in the mood, I simply don't open a message that starts out with "VENT".
    Have a venting day!
  18. catgal

    catgal New Member

    Hi Tammy~~It seems like you and I have been in the same boat in many ways for a while, and I was just checking to see how you are doing.

    I missed work this morning (work 3 days a week--Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday) because when I woke up this morning the pain in my back was intense, FM/CFS flare going on, asthma was so bad I could barely breathe, and my hands were inflammed & swollen from the RA, and I could not bend them to grasp toothbrush or put on clothes. Called in sick this morning (again) and said I'd try and make it to work by noon. Gave myself several different kinds of treatments to try and get better. I've missed so much work this year and am so far behind in paperwork I fear losing my job. However, it's gotten to the point that even working three days a week is too much for this ailing body. I am 54 in a 154 year old body. But, I am my sole financial support, and I don't know how I would live, pay bills or medical expenses without working.

    I feel awful, but have no choice but to go on into work. Since I'm part-time, if I don't work--I don't get paid. And this coming paycheck will be short as is. Yet, at the same time....it is my work that keeps me connected to the outside world and having contact with others. I love my work--been in the profession 30 years, but fear my days are numbered unless I can find a contract job that allows me to work more flexible hours.

    I hope you are feeling better, and that things improve for you. It is hard when your spirits are down and feeling low. I send you a gentle hug and wishes for better times. Blessings to you, Carol....

  19. grannyofalot

    grannyofalot New Member

    I couldn't have said it better than you two. We all should be able to vent here without being judged by someone else.

    You know, Tammy and I both live on the "outskirts" of Memphis. We COULD meet at Beale Street and sing our own blues! Who knows, maybe someone would hear and we'd get a big recording contract and could use the royalties to further the research for these DD's! LOL!

    Tammy, I will continue to pray for you to find whatever treatment and dr. you need. If you need a shoulder, or to just talk, you can find me in the phone book. (Germantown)

    Please pray for me, too. I am missing my boys even more than usual for some reason. (All my daughters live here.) And, I'm going through alot of testing to rule out and figure out what all is going on.

    Soft hugs and shoulders to all of you!

  20. babyblues68

    babyblues68 New Member

    applyn59, ladyblu, dorothy45, catgal, layinglow, grannyofalot, Stillkicking, ChiaPet, mikie, lelehpr, starbright1m,

    Thank you for your kind words and understanding. It does help so much to talk to others that really do understand. To get things off your chest.

    To grannyofalot I love the blues street thing. I was laughing so hard picturing that one. You know Elvis and I were cousins, maybe I could pull some strings at Sun studios for us,LOL. I will be praying for you.

    Oh catgal I can feel your pain. I'm so sorry your not well today. I will pray for you. It must be so hard to be on your own financially and sick. You can call on me anytime to listen!

    Last but not least...CHIVALRY is not dead....thedeuce... how sweet for you to come to our defense. You sould like my husband....Oh wait a minite....YOU ARE!!!! Thanks honey nice suprise.

    I see more support that not here so hopefully I won't get kicked off for my last post to dogdazed on the other thread. I'm really not a hateful person and have never had words on a board before. She just got into my vent...really til I ran in to this person I was thinking why did I stop coming here.

    Thank You ALL,
    Tammy Camp