I'm sorry to hear of your loss morningsonshine

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Lms526, Mar 7, 2007.

  1. Lms526

    Lms526 New Member

    Hi Misty,
    I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. I know how hard a loss like that can be. I was very close my grandparents on my mother's side. My grandpa died of lung cancer (which had spread to his stomach and brain) and was also on morphine. He was given 2 months to live when he was diagnosed and that's almost to the day what he lived. It was the first time I'd ever had to deal with the death of a close relative. I was SO angry with God after that happened. I had a ton of people praying for my grandpa and felt like God let me down in my darkest hour. But now, I can see that God was very merciful. My grandpa was in terrible pain and could have lingered for months. It was an act of mercy that he died so quickly. The same thing basically happened with my grandpa. We all knew his death was coming. The worst part for me was knowing I was eventually going to get a call saying he'd died, but not knowing exactly when. There are still many times when I miss my grandparents. Especially at Christmas and on special occassions like weddings and birthdays and parties. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but the pain does lessen with time. But you have to be willing to let yourself greive the loss. There is no set timetable. Some people move through the grief process faster than others. Also, don't be surprised if people say things that unintentionally hurt you. They mean well....they just don't know what to say. I had a friend after my grandpa died tell me that Jesus still raises the dead today. That made me kind of angry, but I knew my friend had nothing but the best of intentions, so I didn't say anything.

    My grandma died very unexpectidly in March of 2004. In fact, the anniversary of her death was yesterday. I stayed busy pretty much all day yesterday, so I didn't really have much time to think about it. We aren't sure exactly how she died, but we are pretty sure it was a massive stroke. She'd already had a series of mini-strokes prior to that. On the day she died, she had just been to the doctor an hour before. The doctor told her she was doing better. An hour later, she was dead.

    When someone you love dies, even if it's expected, there is a hole that forms in your heart. The pain lessens with time, but that hole never really goes away. Just be gentle to yourself and don't put too much pressure on yourself to "get over it" quickly. Just allow yourself to grieve and talk when you need. I would also recommend sharing your pain, grief, anger or whatever with God. One thing that has really helped me is to journal. First, I write whatever is on my heart or mind. Then I simply be still and listen to what God has to say to me. I don't hear an audible voice. But I have come to know His still small voice very well. You always have to ask yourself if what you hear lines up with Scripture. Just pour your heart out to Him. He is big enough to handle any emotion you may have. I have also found that He can even handle things like anger and frustration.

    You will be in my prayers. Take care of yourself!



  2. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    Thank you so much for your special reply, i was gone yesterday, and very tired today.

    You are so right about God, He is big enough isn't He. I was mad at God when i first got sick, and didn't know what was wrong with me.

    My grandma had lung cancer also, but it was slower than Dr. expected. They gave her 3 months and she lived 18 months. In the end it spread to her lymph system, and that was when things got much worse. It was so hard in the last month to see her in so much pain, the morphine wasn't getting rid of it all.

    I'm glad she didn't linger on also, but that doesn't help the heart.

    I'm sorry you lost your grandparents, and your grandmother so unexpectantly.

    I can tell that your kind caring words come from experience.

    Thank you for your prayers, and thoughts,