I hate my job. I feel grateful that I have one and for the most part am able to do it... but I just hate it. I teach PreK-8 music in DC and it is soooo not worth it sometimes. I was prepared to work with underpriviledged, neglected children. I was prepared to face the inner city gangster behavior. I was not prepared for the disrespect and disruptions from a bunch of whiny coddled teenagers. Parents think "Oh certainly not MY child..." If they only knew. It's bogging me down. I've managed to keep my fibro pushed away (still always ready to jump in though) and the stress of this job is going to cause it to hit full force which is something I haven't felt in a good 8-9 months. I feel very blessed that it's hidden for that long. But today, I feel so depressed... like, put my head down and bawl for hours... my joints are stiff and sore, headaches are becoming more frequent again, my stomach is upset and I'm going through some severe separation anxiety (my husband is in an even worse teaching situation). I think the worst thing I feel right now is this heaviness in my chest. Like, it's hard to get a good breathe but also an emotional thing. I don't know. I'm afraid what I'll do when I get my 6th grade class. I've had them for a week and a half now and have managed to keep the attitude of "I don't really care... " Today feels so different. Just needed to get all that out. Hoped it would help. Doesn't really feel like it will.