I'm tired of crying...

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by ccyesi, Aug 6, 2009.

  1. ccyesi

    ccyesi New Member

    Sometimes I wish that I never had a dad. My father has been verbally abusive my entire life. I feel like a piece of trash when I try to talk to him. He doesn't listen. He only talks a bunch of non sense that isn't me. All I want to do right now in life is just go to school and that has faded away. I'm not social anymore. I use to run for the college cross-country and that has faded away as well. I'm not motivated, and I cant talk to anyone because I don't have friends that I feel comfortable talking to. My dad and his behavior has made my life a living hell. I'm only 19 and I sometimes feel like I should move out, but I can't. I have nothing. I just don't know what to do because I feel like nobody loves me or cares for me. My sister is always gone working and my mom doesn't understand anything. even though she knows how my dad is, she thinks he has reason for everything. I don't know where to go from here anymore. I feel not wanted by this corrupt family. I don’t know I was happy for a while and now I am back to the feeling sad.
  2. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    I think the key to everything is when you said "my sister is always gone working." Your sister has found a way to work out of this and a job keeps her out of the home and she'll be also working towards getting her own place. That's something you should be working towards too. You can go to college and work too and you would be surprised how much it would keep you out of the home.

    You could then study at the library or other places away from home. Or even study at home with your door closed. If your Dad comes to your room at home all the time, then study away from home, then definitely study at the library or other places. A job will give you time away from home and some extra money that you can start putting into a bank account as your move away from home money.

    Your Dad is an abusive windbag. But deep inside, I hope you know you are not trash or worthless just because some abusive windbag spouts that nonsense. It's tough to bear when it comes from a parent--I've been there, but keep telling yourself that you are a wonderful person and so worthy of good things in life. Good luck and hugs.

  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the board.

    It is a sad fact of life that many families are unhappy, and many parents
    are toxic. One of my drs told me years ago that, "You can't get
    shrimp scampi at McDonalds."

    And there are parents from whom you cannot get love, encouragement, and
    understanding.

    My parents fit into that category. My father was a drunk, and my
    mother was a compulsive cleaner, and they did not approve of any
    of their 4 children.

    It is not your fault. It is not you who is responsible. I encourage to
    sever all ties w/ these people as soon as it is possible. In the meantime,
    get your education and try to avoid them.

    You might want to look at a book by David Burns called "Feeling Good."

    Things are tough right now, but they will get better. Best of luck to you.

    Rock
  4. Guitargal

    Guitargal New Member

    School is so important. I almost gave it up to. I drank every night and dropped all my classes. Then I realized that giving up my future is not going to help me. Look at the bigger picture. Maybe life sucks now but if you just hold on and work hard you will be so proud of what you have accomplished and so will your family even if they dont show it. You deserve the best. Don't ever forget that you deserve the world no matter how others make you feel.
  5. weretired

    weretired New Member

    dON'T EVER BELIEVE HE THOUGHT THAT. pLEASE