I'm very concerned about my 1yr old Grandson ................

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by doxygirl, Jun 13, 2007.

  1. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    I would like to know what your honest opinion is about this.....
    I was holding my one year old Grandson today.....and he seemed frustrated about something when all of a sudden he slapped me in the mouth and he slapped me hard.....

    I was in shock and not expecting that from him...then he did it again and then AGAIN so he slapped me three times and each time he looked at me after and had a really upset look on his face.............

    My son who is my Grandsons Dad was sleeping when this happened so when he woke up I told him what happened....I was holding my Grandson when I was telling my son....and then I said to my Grandson "did you hit Grandma in the face" and the little man hit me AGAIN!

    My son saw it with his own two eyes this time and said "Mom...... don't let him do that tell him NO!

    I told my Grandson "NO don't hit Grandma.....Grandma doesn't do that to you, and then I took his hand and ran it gently over my face and said " nice be nice to Grandma"!

    Then he rubbed his hand over my face and said "nice" !

    Iam not going to say anymore at this point because I want to know if you all are thinking the same thing Iam......but I don't want to plant ideas in your heads.....I want you honest opinions!

    Thanks for your help
  2. justjanelle

    justjanelle New Member

    I hardly know what to say. I'm so sorry this happened to you -- it is definitely NOT normal 1 year old behavior. I'm afraid I'd want to start looking into where he might have learned this!

    Best wishes,
  3. blueski31717

    blueski31717 New Member

    I wouldn't jump to anything at this point. My grandson also did that once. I believe he saw it on tv and was just copying things he saw and wanted to know what reaction I would have.
    Like you I corrected it and never had a problem again.

    After my son and wife separated and divorced he picked my grandson up well his mom hit my son with a cell phone in the mouth.

    My grandson was so upset he was 1 and half he looked at me and with eyes brows furrowed he yelled jibberish and swung in air and said hit daddy hit daddy and put his hands on hips and stomped feet.

    I got the story from my son. I asked my grand if his mom hit daddy he again jibberish and said yesssssss. stomped feet and again jibberish then said hit daddy. I asked him if he was he mad at daddy he looked at me really funny and shook his head no.

    I asked him if he was mad at mommy boy he again went ballistic yelling yessssssssss. there was a difference in reactions from my grandson hitting me in the face

    I think like my grandson the first time he your grandson might have seen that on tv and was just wanting to know your reaction. does your grand go to day care. He might of seen another child do it to someone.

    just a thought.

    I hope things work out.

  4. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    I really don't want to go into this for fear of not getting unbiased opinions from others........BUT...the reason Iam so concerned is that my Grandson does not go to pre-school....

    My Grandsons Mom has her mother ( the other Grandmother) as his day care.....and this is the problem......she has in the past taken care of my grandsons cousin ( her other Grandson from her son and his wife )

    I have seen with my own two eyes on more than one occasion the other Grandson being abused both physically and emotionally..

    ...she used to pull his hair, shake him, yell at him when she would make him cry that "now she had to listen to that", she would tell him he was bad and that she could not go anywhere cause of him...etc,etc!

    My son even mentioned to me on one occasion when he picked up his son ( my Grandson ) that the Grandmother was so mean to the other Grandson, so he too observed her in action......

    Iam deeply concerned and worried that she may be hitting my Grandson and treating him badly......I do know that she has been babysitting a total of 3 kids temporarily so perhaps it is one of them hitting?

    I just don't want to close my eyes or brush anything under the carpet when it comes to my Grandson....the other Grandson is no longer in her care THANK GOODNESS.......

    I will keep everyone posted and keep in loving my Grandson.....he means the world to me...and he gets all love and no negativity at our home when he is here!

    Thank you for your support

    [This Message was Edited on 06/14/2007]
  5. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Kids see this on TV. They notice a lot more than we think they do. If he goes to daycare or is left at the nursery at a gym, he may have seen it there. Just don't reward him. Do just as you did and say, "NO." Showing him how to pat and show love is just the right thing to do.

    Toddlers will slap, bite, and kick and they need to be taught that this is not acceptable.

    Now, if a child continues to be violent and tries to hurt others, especially smaller children and animals, it cause for concern. One incident doesn't mean he has a violent nature.

    Love, Mikie
  6. bandmom90

    bandmom90 New Member

    The situation with the other grandmother concerns me.

    I work in a daycare and the kids that are very agressive 1.have older siblings,2. are not getting disciplined at home when they are acting out,3. do dont have any consistancy in their lives.

    I have not run into any that are being abused, but for a small child that is a sign that something is going on that is not right.

    At that age they do mimick and do not know how to handle the feelings of aggression they may have. You handled it very well by showing him how to be nice. Just keep reinforcing to him about being loving and gentle. Little ones understand more than we think.

    Don't let this go. Keep your eyes and ears open. If there is any way your son can get your grandson out of there I would do that. It doesn't sound like a healthy atmosphere.

    Take care and my prayer will be that your grandson is safe(and the other children also).
  7. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I didn't read your followup post. I would be very concerned and would certainly try to get the kids to get your grandson out of this atmosphere. Even if he is only exposed to abuse of another, he is being abused and that is likely where he is getting his aggression. Nothing is worth letting a child continue living under these conditions. Good luck.

    Love, Mikie
  8. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    but some days he is so tired he cannot get him all three days, my sons's job is at night until about 4 am, ( that is an entire can of worms in itself)

    But after my gut feelings and reading these posts.....Iam going to talk to my son and make it so that no matter what he picks his son up all THREE days .....

    He can drop off my Grandson here with me....and then sleep.....even if Iam having a really bad day, my other son who has aspergers is here to help with him ( and is excellent with my grandson, plus my grandson loves my autistic son )

    That is THREE days that my Grandson will be out of the care of the other Grandmother!

    My Grandsons mom has told me that I can come get him the other two days if I feel up to it..........so that would be all FIVE days out of the care of the other Grandmother......but my problem is...........

    Iam so weak and tired and in pain ......I honestly don't know if I can do FIVE days?!..but I will certainly try!

    Thanks to all of you who posted here to me.....for your honesty and support.....Iam in tears right now as I write .....my Grandson means everything ot me.......and is the sunshine in my life.....I will do whatever it takes to keep him safe from harm!

    Love, thanks and hugs,
  9. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    SOMETHING is going on. He is imitating this from something he is seeing or something he is experiencing.

    You are right to be concerned. Could a camera or other video equipment be dicsreetly put in place to film what is actually going on? Is the Grandma watching at her house or your son's home?
  10. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    I'm afraid that my son only gets visitation.....he and my Grandsons mom do not get along...it was unfortunately a three week relationship .....and the girl wanted baby so bad......my son got reeled in hook, line and sinker.....good news is that I have a beautiful Grandbaby boy that gives me a reason to live!;)

    Iam really worried about this.....and have to admit that this was a concern from the day I met and had interactions with the mom of my grandson and her mom!

    What makes things even worse...........my grnadsons mom is getting her degree in child care!

    She herself has done things that I find questionable like when my grandson was only a few months old.....and starting to hold his own bottle she told him "maybe if you'd hold it up you'd get something out of it" !

    She said it very condensending and it really bothered me.....I do not think the mom of my grandson is abusive physically but I do have to say that I fear her mom ( my grandsons day care provider ) IS!

    "Oh I just remembered something else that happened with the other grandmother......a few months ago when I went to pick up my grandson....hi eyes were all red, and he was doing that thing like when you cry really hard and then it is almost like having the hicups.....

    the other grandmother told me he was upset because she had to sit on him to get his diaper on him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    this is a baby we are talking about............my grandsons mom always plays a game with him when she is changing him....he turns over with his naked bottom and tries to get away and the mom says "I'm gonna get you" in a playful way.....

    my grandson does this with me too.....the other grandmother didn't find it funny.....so she got mad and sat on my grandson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AND THEN had the nerve to tell me she did so! which tells me she doesn't think she is doing anything wrong!

    She also once told me that she hit her son ( she has 7 kids )when he was little ( now 28 ) with a coat hanger because he needed more disipline that her other kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I think the best thing I can do at this point is try to make sure my son gets him all three days ( which are during the week when the mom works) if I take him the other two then the other grandmother will only have him a few hours a week ( in the am only ) instead of her usual 50 hrs plus!

    My grandson is starting to say his first words...so it won't be to long before he can verbally tell us what is going on!

    thank you all

    I will keep you updated


    [This Message was Edited on 06/14/2007]
  11. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    It's time to call in child services. You can kill a baby by sitting on him. Yikes! This woman has no business even being around children.

    Good luck.

    Love, Mikie
  12. bandmom90

    bandmom90 New Member

    I agree with Mikie. It's time to call child welfare IMMEDIATLEY!!
    Take care.
  13. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I have started to answer your post several times but deleted them. I am embarrassed because of what I have to say.

    My mother never worked outside the house. She stayed at home and took in ironing and babysitting. Back then, in MO, there weren't any regulations as to licensing and number of kids and such, or at least they weren't enforced. Sometimes she had as many as 20 kids in the house. With just her. And she was busy ironing.

    As I got older, I began to realize that my mother was abusing these kids. Kids went home more than once with bruises. I heard her make the remark once that she needs to stop smacking them in the face, one of the mother's got a bit upset about that. She had her favorites and if that child wasn't the favorite, that child could do nothing right.

    I am so upset right now, thinking about it and what those kids went through. Whenever I would say something, she smarted back to me and my sisters, "well you like what I buy with the money".

    I know you are not able to take care of your grandson 5 days a week, but if necessary, are you in a financial position to offer to pay for daycare somewhere else?

    Please get him out of that situation. It sounds like he has probably been on the recieving end of her anger, and definitely has seen it on other.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It's hard to believe anyone could do this to a child, but it does happen.

  14. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Hi Doxy,

    I tend to agree with the last couple of gals that posted, WAKE, etc. I have have 5 children and 8 grandchildren and did child daycare at home for 13 years. So I think I know a little about children.

    It isn't really normal for them to go around hitting like that at that young an age. However, they do tend to copy what they seen done, esp if it has been done repleatedly. I might have missed a couple of the posts in between. Yesterday I read some of the posts and today I read most
    of the others.

    If your grandson is doing this continueously it sounds like he is getting it from someplace. Yes, they do pick up stuff like that from TV and other places but if it looks like his other grandmother has been doing some abusing of the children (which it sounds like to me) that is probably a good place to start looking.

    I think he needs to go someplace else but also for the sake of the other children in her care , it needs to be looked into further. It is a terrible shame that she is his grandmother. DPS needs to get involved and your grandson needs to get out of her care RIGHT AWAY.

    Gods bless and hugs to all,


  15. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Doxy, I tend to agree with everyone else. If your grandson is smacking you in the face, I bet it is a learned behavior--someone is doing the same thing to him! That is why he is doing it to you.

    I would not want him in that environment at all!