IN responce to shocked at what my husband asked me

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Oct 1, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    MY husband did ask if I thought of gettting checked for sleep apena altough he did not word it that way.
    Your right in saying that one of his hunting buddies told him about this.His friend use's a c-pap to help him breathe at night and this is who he bunked with.

    I have wondered for a long time if I might have sleep apena but we have never even with insuracne to get tested and as my husband makes more than is allowed for charity care , I am up a creek with out a paddle.
    I agreed with him that I may benifit from it but that I still would have periods of being so tired as I have fibro, said yeh , right.

    I know that he does not belive that I have fibro at all that it is some thing that my pain doctor as told me that I have and that somehow he has brainwashed me into thinking that I have this unreal syndrome. And now he has got me addited to pain pills that I don't really need.

    I knew from that remark that he does not believe that my having fibromyaligia. He can understand the back problems , disc pain and knee pain. But the things he can't see he does not believe in . NO matter what doctor tells him that it is real.

    We do have the same GP who treats my hubby for diebeties and I had him tell Doug that I really do have fibromyaligia and the Doctor did that and still Doug does not believe in it.

    So say I do need a cpap I think I will feel more rested and feel somebetter but it is not going to take away my pain or the need of pain meds. AS it only helps with breathing it can't cure the discs that are bulging, or the Degeneritive disc diease that I have. Or the spinal stenois, arthritis , Oh and the CMP and fibro.

    I got the feeling hta tif I did need this help in breathing that I would not need to see my pain doctor and I would not need any of the morphine that I take. And I can be weaned off it and never use it again.

    While his thoughts of helping me are really nice.Even if I have sleep apena it can't fix me in all things .That is my biggset worry. I don't want to be on pain meds for ever but I know that the options I have are slim in fixing the pian i have.

    I can't take steriods so that lets out 90% of the options and treatments that I could have. And since I have DDD, Spianl stenosis, facet syndrome, need new knee's and my left wrist is hurting more from having it shattered just 2 years ago.

    The reason I bring up these pain issues is because they show up on a x-ray while the Fibro and CMP do not. My husband believes in the conditions that he can see but those who can't be seen are not real , I just have been brain washed in to thinking that I have these syndromes that are not real.

    Yes it is true that I may need this cpap but some one will have to explain that because I use it will not take away my need for pain meds. AS the reasons that I take them are not going to go away. And the Fibro and CMP are real and that they do make me tired as well and just becaue I get this machine to help me breathe it will not take away my need for the pain pills.

    It would be nice if it would cure me , but I know that it will not, it is my hope that he will understand some day that the syndromes that I have are real and I am not faking it to get attention. I have real reasons for the pain I have and for the pain meds that I take to ease this pain I live iwth 24/7.

    Thanks for your thoughts and suport. It means alot to me.
    Rosemarie
  2. Pennygirl2

    Pennygirl2 New Member

    Oh Rosemarie,
    I read your post and was just heartbroken to see how you are being treated. I know that it is important that your husband believe in you, but do NOT be convinced that this is not real. Look how many people are HERE.
    I know that feeling the way you do would increase the guilt common to the illness and comparing what you have accomplished in life to others.
    I have worked long and hard at this too and at this point my husband believe in it, but I had to come to grips that it is my identity and problem and I pretty much accept it now and don't worry about others opinions.
    I just finished a book you might like. it is about women's independence which I was quite lacking in this relationship, thus no confidence either. The Courage to Be Yourself: A Woman's Guide to growing Beyond Emotional Dependence. by Sue Patton Thoele. I hope you don't think me presumptious, it just seemed I related some of your possible feelings with some I have struggled with already.
    I wish you luck and I'm so sorry for your pain. Hugs, Penny
  3. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    That our loved ones try so hard to help us and do think about things when they are away from us.These DD's are hard for everyone . I think it was nice that his friend and him must have sharied about your struggles and they tryed to help.
  4. shar6710

    shar6710 New Member

    I'm sorry you are having such a dufficult time. I wish I could offer more advice but I will address why you should have a sleep study.

    No it will not take away your pain. But I think we should treat ALL our symptoms not just one. Laying in bed trying to sleep is very frustrating and adds to your total stress load. If you indeed have sleep apnea it can also lead to deconditioning, headaches, daytime sleepiness and can even negatively effect your heart over the long term.

    No it is not a cure but anything you can do to improve your quality of life is worth doing.

    Good Luck,
    Shar
  5. maedaze

    maedaze New Member

    Men without this condition just don't seem to get it. They know things are not right, but want to see evidence before it's really real. My husband tries to undertand but shill comes out with Oh in this article here it says if you take iron you would be back to normal!

    And obviously your husbands mate who uses this c-pap to help him sleep probably feels so much better, not soo fatigued and brain fogged any more.. and hubbys thinking aha that'll fix my wife. So in his way he is trying to be helpful. and at the end of the day "fix" the problem. I do wonder what world they live in sometimes and if they do really hear anything we say!!

    One day my husband found me on my hands and knees vacuming, - this was after asking I don't know how many times if he could do it. I thought he might take over from me as I was obviously having a hard time getting it done.........

    But he said to me 'becarefull honey, don't over do it, you know what happens then!!!! Then he left to go out!!!

    And when I am too sick to cook, he'll make me toasted sandwiches....... I can't eat bread!!
    They certainly are a breed on their own aren't they!!