Interesting twist to nonbeliever

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by monicaz49, Jul 13, 2008.

  1. monicaz49

    monicaz49 New Member

    So I think I posted on here or maybe another board a year or so ago about this topic. I was sick with CFS and at home when a cousin stopped by to pick up my aunt. My cousin asked how I was and when I said I was sick she replied. "You are just depressed. You should go read some books from the self-help section of the bookstore." I dont even think she meant to be rude. She just didnt care to even consider that I had anything but depression. Obviously I was angry. I just rolled my eyes at her and she left shortly after.

    Now...obviously I was angry at the remark but I was also irritated by whose mouth it was coming out of. This is a girl, my age mid thirties...who is a chain smoker, drinks alcohol regularly has done drugs off and on since her youth, gets little sleep and is the most energetic person I know! Its people like this that cant phathom the idea that people can actually be really sick.

    So anyways...a year later she comes over to pick up my aunt again. Before she leaves she asks how i am and I say, the same..still pretty sick. She says..."its depression!" I basically told her off..telling her she knows nothing about my symptoms, anything about CFS and has no idea and that it is rude of her to even judge like that.

    She basically apologized and started to talk about things SHE'S been experiencing! WEIRD sharp pains in her body, night sweats, numbness in parts of her body, muscle pains, some fatigue but not like the exhaustion i have, temperature sensitivity, clumsiness and swelling on her left leg etc etc. How ironic. She almost started crying cuz she thinks she may have MS or huntingtons since it runs in her family. I'm not saying she has cFS...but wouldnt it be ironic if such a disbeliever actually ended up getting it herself!

    She also has that type A personality, veryyyyyyyyyyy demanding job, smart, etc.

    (thx for listening to my long rant)
  2. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    That's a trip. She sounds like she's all wrapped up in herself. How very odd though. Maybe she wants you to have depression so you're one less family member with a disease she might also have herself. She sounds like she's got a lot of denial going on as well as issues. That really gives insight into the people who badger us with their idea that we're just depressed.

  3. monicaz49

    monicaz49 New Member

    thx for reading my rant and for your reply. :)
  4. Forebearance

    Forebearance Member

    Wow, how awful that your cousin judged you like that. And how ironic that she's not feeling so hot herself now.

    Gosh, those symptoms your cousin is having are just like the symptoms of neurotoxin poisoning. Some doctors think that neurotoxins play a big role in CFS.

    I hope you get well before she does. Then you can give her unsolicited advice. heh heh.

  5. marti_zavala

    marti_zavala Member

    Good for you for standing up for yourself.

    It would be ironic if she was also sick, but sad in the end.

  6. charming

    charming New Member

    Hey maybe the abuse she being doing to her body finally kicked in and now she worried that she might have what you have and thinks that her lifestyle will have to change. and I wish you didn't have any of this( CFS Monicaz) and I wish your cousin understand more of what your going through.
    [This Message was Edited on 07/14/2008]
  7. erica741

    erica741 New Member

    I'm sorry your cousin has been so rude and uncompassionate towards you and your illness.

    Tee, you had some great insights! Monica, I too am inclined to believe that your cousin's rude comments and lack of compassion have more to do with her personal issues and fears than your situation.

    How did you respond to your cousin after she told you about her medical issues?

    I hope you are feeling better about the situation today :)


    [This Message was Edited on 07/14/2008]
  8. monicaz49

    monicaz49 New Member

    You all are so kind for reading my rant, I really appreciate it.
    Forebearance, you are funny...if it turns out she has cfs im sure she will regret what she said to me and will have to go through what we all do.

    Marti, Thx for replying. Yes it will be so ironic. Not that I want her to get sick...but if I had to pick someone it would be a non-believer, like her.

    Charming....Yes, I wonder if her past is catching up with her...if maybe this has some genetic component to it and if any of my younger female cousins could develop this in the near future. :(

    teejkay...I think you are right when you said "She sounds like she's got a lot of denial going on as well as issues. That really gives insight into the people."
    She does have some issues and I can see how that could affect peoples opinions on CFS, for whatever reason.

    Erica, to answer your question...
    I always thought that over the years when people didn't care about my health and werent there for me or if they said rude things I would remember it...and some day when the tables turn I will treat them the same.
    HOWEVER, when she began telling me some of the things she's beginning to experience I immediately went into compassion mode, I listened to her the way I would have wanted someone to listen to me. I sympathized for her even though she is no where near the severity I am. I told her to keep me posted on what the doctors told her. I was concerned.
    I think i did well...
    I defended us CFS folk, educated her a bit and yet continued to listen and showed interest her health.

    I have to say, I would never wish CFS on anyone (ok maybe one or two people, just kiddin) but IF she did in fact develop CFS it would give me some validity.
    That a person who was so healthy and didn't believe I was sick suddenly got sick herself. It would count for something, I would think.

    [This Message was Edited on 07/15/2008]
    [This Message was Edited on 07/15/2008]
  9. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    Monica, a crown for you for being compassionate towards her. That was nice of you.