Intimacy issues.. is it just me??

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hanna4175, Jul 10, 2006.

  1. hanna4175

    hanna4175 New Member

    i dont know what is wrong with me.. but alot of the times when my hubby goes to touch me.. i snap on him!! most times i cannot stand it when he touches my breasts.. the sensitive parts of them.. i wish i had no feelings there at all..ive even thought about going to the doctor and having the feeling removed from there.. am i the only one who thinks like this?? our sex life has not been very good.. in fact.. most times sex is the last thing on my mind..i am on testosterone meds to help with this problem and it takes time to work..i feel soo bad sometimes because i dont want him to think i dont love him anymore because i do.. i just dont know how to explain to him my feelings.. i know all of this goes right back to my childhood and all the hell i went through..i just cannot forget all of those things.. i feel helpless!! sorry i just had to vent..thanks for listening.

    hanna
  2. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    I also love my dear husband.But can not stand being touched.We have been married 5 yrs now and for the past 3 1/2 have had no sex at all.

    He understands that it hurts me to be touched and knows that I still love him and that it has nothing to do with him its me and this DD.

    We hang in there together .For both of us its the second time around and no matter what we will remain together.We have talked about this many times .We have both said that we have found our true soul mates.And thats what we are soul mates and best friends.Love is much more than sex the both of us have decided that the sex part does not matter .Its all the love and caring about each other that counts.

    So its not just you its me also.

    For Every Day A New Dawn Will Come.>>>>Sue
  3. onlythestrong

    onlythestrong New Member

    I know just what your saying,I'm not sure if it's because of the DD or if it's because I'm going through my change.
    I did sit down with my husband and explain things to him and now he kind of lets me lead things.
    As for your childhood and the hell you went through,I was also abused (sexually)but I decided a long time ago that he destroyed my life once I won't let it happen again!
    I'm here if you need to vent anytime.
    Love,
    Mary
  4. hanna4175

    hanna4175 New Member

  5. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Hanna, it's not just you, dear. It is a common complaint of many fibro patients, due to our pain and fatigue.

    We have had many posts in the past about this that you may find interesting to read. Search on various subjects or key words such as sex, sexual relations, etc. in the title and content.

    You mentioned that "all of this goes right back to my childhood and all the hell I went through .. I just cannot forget all of those things ..."

    Since you mentioned that you cannot forget what happened to you in childhood, I think you might benefit from talking with a professional now ... someone like a psychologist. Maybe your primary doc could refer you to someone who has special training in that area. I think that would help you a lot. Check and make sure your insurance will cover your visits first. If you do not have insurance coverage, maybe your doc could help get you in to a free clinic.

    Unresolved childhood issues seem to come back and haunt us until we get them resolved in our minds. Please think about getting an appointment. I think that is the first step to helping your overall problems.

    During those visits, you could also bring up your problems brought about about the fibro -- if your doc is not familiar with it, tell him/her that it is a chronic muscle condition that also relates in chronic pain and debilitating fatigue.

    Good luck.

    I could talk more, but it is 2:25 am and I must get to bed now since it's almost time for my DH to be getting out of bed!!

    Love and Hugs,
    Janet
  6. catsup

    catsup New Member

    Hi Hanna, I'm new here to this site and I haven't read too far into the old posts. It's just amazing that I came across your post today because I am struggling so hard with sexual intimacy issues right now! I just don't really feel like having sex. I don't exactly enjoy it. Sometimes it can be great, but very rarely. I just don't think about it or crave it...most of the time it's an aversion and I avoid my boyfriend altogether. We are in counseling working on many facets of the relationship and I have just dared to go into the sex. I have been faking it for a long time. I haven't told him this yet and I may never, but I am talking about my lack of desire and how this affects him. I read the silly book about Venus and Mars in the bedroom and it is amazing concerning the man's point of view on sex. I try to understand, I do try...but it just makes me question: why are women and men together? At any rate, I am also new to the fibro and still in diagnoses mode. Feeling depressed concerning my body doesn't help with the sexual issues either. Point is, you are not alone, and neither am I! Thanks for sharing.