Iowamorningglory

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by larryh, Dec 6, 2006.

  1. larryh

    larryh New Member

    Laurie

    I am glad to see you back. I have been worried all the time you were MIA. That is one of the bad things about the board at times. People can just disappear and you never know why.

    If you have the official diagnoses apply for disability is not hard. Just call your SS office. I did and made an appointment. Took Sue Ann with me so I would have someone with a working memory. When you go to the office they will fill out the application for you and you just answer questions. You do need a list of doctors and employment and you will have to sign release forms so they can collect information. I had to be seen by two SS doctors. Stayed up all night the night before for both of them just to make sure they understood I was exhausted and in a fog. No reason to leave them in doubt. I was approved first time, but my age had something to do with that.

    Keep in touch,

    Larry
  2. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    I really did want to get on those couple days, but I think I really needed to regroup. I missed everyone...I enjoy talking with you and missed the comradery. I think this board provides balance to a lot of us. Ah! and the laughter I have missed. And of course I was lost without the stimulating intellectual banter!

    Thank you for the information on SSDI, honestly that had been my holdup...filling out the papers. If I can go and they fill them out that would be great!

    I do have one other thing to do, and you won't believe this..but! Officially according to Social Security I was deceased on July 31, 2006! Really! My Social Services worker contacted me about a month ago (it took them that long to realize I was dead) to let me know about this. I contacted Social Security and sure enough they say I am deceased. Although when I go to the Social Security website and pull up my last name for deceased I am not listed. I can go back clear to my husbands father but not me!

    Anyway, I have to prove to them first I am alive! Of course I always keep my birth certificate in a safe place, but used it for something (I can't remember what) a couple months ago. Of course now I can't find it, so requested a new one for $15.00 from county where I was born and am waiting for that. Plus I have to have several other proofs of ID.

    I laughed when they first told me, and the kids got quite a kick out of it. Now, I think it stinks I have to prove I am alive! Oh! well. People keep telling me to wait maybe I won't have to file any taxes. Not really an option since I want to get started on disability.

    Well I have rambled quite sufficiently for one night. Always remember like you have said, "Us geeks have to stick together." You know I think for the first time in my life, I enjoy being called a geek...kind of rewarding!:)

    Take care & Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,
    Laurie

  3. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    Hopefully you are doing okay! I saw your new profile picture. Is that a another picture of your granddaughter? She is so cute and I love the spaghetti face! Too funny. You and SueAnn must be so proud.

    By the way I wanted to tell you thank you for the advice about giving Larry (my husband) some time. I also went back and read some of the letters we have wrote to each other over the years. I feel so much better. I read some of the posts about how misunderstood some of the others with FM spouses are and I know I am lucky. He really has been by my side all the way, I just wasn't looking. You are lucky to have SueAnn she sounds wonderful. Larry and I will be married 10yrs in 2007. But we have know each other for 25yrs or more.

    Keep in touch and take care!
    Blessed Be & Kitten Hugs,
    Laurie :)

  4. larryh

    larryh New Member

    Laurie,

    Yes it is another picture of Ashley. I probably have more pictures of her than of all of the rest of the family together. Part of the reason is that we have digital cameras now which didn't exist when my kids were little. Of course her being around more than the other grand kids has a lot to do with it too.

    Sue Ann and I were married 10 years last October which is 10 years longer than anyone thought we would last. It is only about 4 months longer than we have known each other. We were a case of love at first sight even though we both claimed we were never getting married again.

    It really is harder on the spouses sometimes. She is the one who worries about money now as well as the one who makes the most. If it was up to me I would simply forget to worry, forget to pay bills, all that good stuff because I don't remember very well anymore. That leads to conflicts at times because I will spend money we don't have never thinking about bills needing to be paid. Somehow Sue Ann still puts up with and loves me.

    It sounds like you have gotten your joy back which is great. So much depends on how we choose to look at things. We can usually be happy no matter what is going on in our life. Loving spouses, grandkids and pets all help a lot. Learning how to like yourself again inspite of being sick and feeling like you are only a shadow of who you used to be. I struggled with that for several years. There was even a short time I thought I could leave my marriage and run away from the unhappiness. I had to learn I can't run away from me.

    Larry
  5. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    My husband, kids, and critters all help with the unconditional love..I do really know that...it is acceptance I think that is the hardest part on myself yet. Newly diagnosed, trying to work the last year not knowing what was wrong and only getting worse. Six years of education for naught right now, and my husband bringing home the bacon is hard. I was in the best paying job of my life! Now I sit at home and can't keep my eyes open most days to even do menial chores.

    Mostly acceptance is the biggest issue. I just haven't got there yet. I am sure it took you a few years, and with SueAnn by your side I am sure that helped you. My kids and Larry probably do better at understanding some days than I do. It isn't even guilt I don't think, mostly the "why me" syndrome yet. (Pardon the typing if it gets funny, cat helping...again!)I was striving for that "better life" for my kids and now we aren't even having christmas this year and I guess I am blaming myself. They understand, but I am sure it will look different christmas day unless something changes financially between now and then. Ah, time will tell.

    Hey thank you, really for listening. I really appreciate it, and I hope I don't bore you too bad. It is nice to have someone to chat with.

    Take care and Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,
    Laurie

    P.S. Did you catch the post earlier about SS telling me I am deceased?
    [This Message was Edited on 12/09/2006]
  6. larryh

    larryh New Member

    Laurie,

    OK. You seem to have disappeared again. Don't stay away from one of your sources of support during the holidays when you need all the support you can get.

    Yes I did see that SS thinks you are dead. Our government is so efficient. You don't even want to get me started there.

    I am not sure acceptance is ever complete and in my case the guilt hasn't gone completely away either. I was making about five times what Sue Ann does when I got sick. Not I have my disability check and occasionally I fix a computer and make a few dollars.

    Be thankful that you will all be together for Christmas. We have had Christmas at our house for years and years ( shows my age huh) and this year we had to say we can't do it anymore. Now it seems that the family can't even get together until New Years and then it will only be four of my six kids. That is another long story.

    Post something so we know you are still around.

    Larry
  7. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    Thank you again for noticing I have been gone. You are too kind.

    Christmas time is rough. It is hard not having Christmas this year I am sure. It doesn't help the guilt either, and that has to be rough. I feel guilty because I want to decorate for Christmas and just can't work up the energy. I do finally have a fiber optic tree up, which my foster son is totally in love with. I think Christmas for him seems to be the most exciting, and that helps me too. My kids seem to not be so excited about Christmas, and I am not sure that is a good thing. I know they are maturing, but it seems sort of sad to see the acceptance they have of our situation.

    I have been in a flare for a couple days. My phylosiphy is when I am feeling the worst, as long as I am already there, that is when I try to do my catch up cleaning. My theory is I already feel terrible (pain and can't keep my eyes open) so what harm can it do? If I do it when I do feel good then I go into a flare, so why not just get it over with and do it when I am in a flare!

    Probably sounds stupid, but it works for me.:) Yeah, Larry like you once in awhile I get to work on someones computer and that helps. I am also starting some selling on ebay, so maybe that will pass some time and make a few dollars extra. I love these computers. We actually have three in the house, all hooked to our internet. My kids are computer addicts too!

    Well, kind sir, I will check in later on. Gotta go get my Application for Vital Records paperwork notarized and mailed so I can get that copy of my Birth Certificate. So I can go to SS and prove I am alive!

    Take care and Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,
    Laurie (Fellow Geek) :)
  8. larryh

    larryh New Member

    Laurie,

    You are the only other person from Iowa that I know on the message boards. You are a fellow geek. And, you have husband with a wonderful name. I guess that is why I notice if you are around or not.

    Christmas is not going to be the same this year for us either. Not so much because of money, although that is a problem, but because we are not having a family Christmas this year. The kids all have their own families now and it is impossible to get everyone together this year. For as long as I can remember we have always had Christmas as a family.

    I had to tell the kids that I would not ask Sue Ann to fix dinner for everyone this year because it is enough for her to just take care of me. I am not confined to bed or anything, but I know life is a lot harder for her with me sick. I am going to miss having family together. It isn’t about presents because we have only bought for grandkids for years anyway.

    I wish we could all get our minds more on the real reason for Christmas. Shopping has gotten to be depressing at times. You can’t even find anything about Jesus or God in most of the stores. Christmas has become a holiday about greed instead of giving. ( I find myself feeling very sarcastic lately)

    When I am feeling my worst I don’t even get out of bed let alone do anything. It does do harm when you push too hard though. We end up spending even more time down because it is much harder to recover than it is to rest ahead of time.

    You said your husband took over the business he used to work for? What does he do.

    I hope you have proved you are alive by now.

    Larry

  9. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    Hey Larry,

    I noticed you haven't been on much either the last week or so. Only a post here and there, are you doing okay? You can't let the Christmas season get you down.

    It is nice that we are both from Iowa, I agree. I think the fellow geek thing is what hooked me. :) I also think it is because we both seem to have very caring spouses who take care of us and love us, even when we are at our worst.

    My husband is the unofficial assistant manager of the grocery store in town. Granted it is a small mom and pop grocery store. He also has ran the owner of the grocery stores Redemption Center for almost 3 years. Both are great jobs for him because he has Degenerative disc disease and has had two back surgeries, and wasn't sure there was ever going to be a job he could do. He loves the redemption center and had doubled the business profit in the 3 years he has been there. So, he got a revolving loan from the bank and took over the redemption center. So far so good.

    I will peek in later. My eyes seem to be doing the want to go closed thing again and I think I hate that the most with my FM!

    Take care and Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,
    Laurie
  10. larryh

    larryh New Member

    Laurie,

    There hasn’t been many posts from anyone this last week. There hasn’t been a lot to reply to and I am not always good at thinking up new topics on my own.

    AS far as I know only Carla and the two of us have admitted to being geeks. Surely there are more than that out there lurking. Yesterday I got to play geek last night using logmein to connect to a fellow chat member in the UK to fix their PC so they can log into chat. I really enjoy it when I can help a friend out. There are not that many things I can do to help anymore.

    I am having a day when I really want to do something, but my whole body feels like lead and aches. I think it is the damp weather.
    Larry
  11. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    Yup, definitely slower on the board, but I guess that seems okay to me. Some days I feel like being on and others I just can't stay awake long enough to type. I think I like it slower?

    Do you know anything about Alienware? My oldest son Damien is 16 and very mature for his age. He has been fascinated with Alienware for about 5 years now and is finally going to order one. He is a gamer and is tired of sharing with his brother and our foster son. He also works 6 nights a week and is a straight A-B student. So I really can't say much if he wants to get one, I personally think it will be good idea. Of course he wants it in "Lime Green", he shouldn't have any problems if he loses it trying to find it, I am thinking here in hicksville it should be pretty rare!

    You were talking about Vista on your laptop, what is Vista? I know it comes on Damien's computer, but I have no idea what it is. Just curious.

    So did you find something constructive to do for the day, or did the lead feeling win?

    I will talk with ya later,
    Take care and Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,
    Laurie
  12. larryh

    larryh New Member

    Laurie,

    Alienware is one of the top brands of gaming computers made. Of course they also have top prices, but are worth it if you have the money.

    I may have to take your geek license away. Vista is the new version of Microsoft Windows. Released to large business in December and to the public in January. If you buy a computer now it will probably have Windows XP on it with a free upgrade to Vista when it is released.

    You can download a trial copy of Vista that will run for 30 days before you have to activate it. If you don't it dies on the 31st day. I put it on my laptop because I have not been using it much.

    I enjoy playing with new software so I can't resist trying out new stuff when I can get it without spending any money. I also installed the latest version of Microsoft Office and Firefox version 3 which is still in beta.

    I bottled my apple cinnamon wine today and created labels for my wine bottles so I did accomplish a little.

    Larry
  13. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    Please...no...don't take my geek license! You know that FM thing, well now that my husband reminded me, I knew there was a new version of Windows coming out. Vista must be one of those memory lapse words that don't stick right now!

    I do remember now the name but Larry had to remind me.

    You know the worst part about Damien getting the Alienware? This may sound awful...but I want one! I want my own so I can play too. Although he may let me share! Hmmmm...maybe blackmail will work? Gotta think there has to be a lot of things I can blackmail my 16 year old with. Tee hee!

    Take care and Kitten hugs,
    Blessed Be,
    Laurie
  14. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    Hey Larry :), Hope you are doing okay. I know I have had to take a couple days off of online. Only short periods at a time can I seem to do.

    I am not sure about you, but I think with the storm that is moving into Iowa and the pressure change it is messing with my FM. Seems like especially my aches and pains...which is seeming to make me cranky. Are you guys supposed to get more rain than snow, or both? I know they are pretty much predicting rain for here now, too warm for snow.

    (Not good since the kids get out for xmas vacation this week!) Will you say a little prayer for me? Oh! not for the FM pain...but because I will be spending two weeks non stop with tooooo many teenage boys in the house)
    Help!!!!

    Hope this finds you and SueAnn well.
    Take care and Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,
    Laurie

  15. larryh

    larryh New Member

    Laurie,

    I have to admit the last few days have really been rough. I think it is a combination of the weather and the holidays. Part physical and part depression. I am having a hard time getting used to the fact that the kids all have so much happening in their life that we are not going to all be together for Christmas this year.

    This weather hasn’t helped either. I spent last night sleeping in the recliner. I wish the storm would just get over. I haven’t been cranky so much as totally out of it. Yesterday I slept until 2:30 PM and was still ready to go back to bed in a couple of hours. Aches and pains all over just like you and taking pain meds doesn’t seem to do much. I wasn’t even interested in checking messages yesterday.

    Good luck over the holiday vacation. I am not sure I would survive it. I might have to crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head..

    We are supposed to have rain with a bit of ice over night, but we can still hope for snow.

    Larry