Irony and a story to share

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Stormy214, Nov 24, 2002.

  1. Stormy214

    Stormy214 New Member

    This is just an anecdote for those of you who have helped, and for anyone new to the board that might be wondering if it is worth your time and energy coming here. My husband (and grown children) and I have been coping with FMS for the past 2 years, and for the most part, I can't complain about how loving and supportive they have been. However, as is human nature, I have had to deal with the "this just isn't like you" and "if you'd only do this..." (mostly from my husband)which, as you all know, does nothing to decrease the stress under which we are already laboring. For the past week he's been away from home (Deer season in the U.P. is a national holiday), and while he was gone, I suffered probably one of the worst flares I have ever had. He came home for a day, knowing I was bad off from his phone calls, but unprepared for what he'd actually find when he got here. Thanks to the lovely people on this site, I had been advised to print off materials to enlighten my family and leave them lying around the house. I've also learned that thers suffer the same things I do (and some suffer worse), so I had stories to tell him; better yet, I had a PLAN: His response was that we "have to find a cure for this." My response was: "we need to learn to live with this until there is one." And that was a message he finally understood. We can run from doctor to doctor to doctor, and we can hope and pray for a cure, but until then...we simply need to deal! I would not have found the words to make him understand that if not for the interactions I've ha with you all, and I just wanted you to know--you have made a difference in my life, and for the first time in two years, I feel like I have a shot at having a good one. It may not be the one I (we) had before, but we can still have a good life. Thank you one and all for that, you have my eternal gratitude, my love and soft hugs....I only hope that someday I can repay the favor by passing along that wisdom to someone who direly needs it.
    Stormy
  2. Stormy214

    Stormy214 New Member

    This is just an anecdote for those of you who have helped, and for anyone new to the board that might be wondering if it is worth your time and energy coming here. My husband (and grown children) and I have been coping with FMS for the past 2 years, and for the most part, I can't complain about how loving and supportive they have been. However, as is human nature, I have had to deal with the "this just isn't like you" and "if you'd only do this..." (mostly from my husband)which, as you all know, does nothing to decrease the stress under which we are already laboring. For the past week he's been away from home (Deer season in the U.P. is a national holiday), and while he was gone, I suffered probably one of the worst flares I have ever had. He came home for a day, knowing I was bad off from his phone calls, but unprepared for what he'd actually find when he got here. Thanks to the lovely people on this site, I had been advised to print off materials to enlighten my family and leave them lying around the house. I've also learned that thers suffer the same things I do (and some suffer worse), so I had stories to tell him; better yet, I had a PLAN: His response was that we "have to find a cure for this." My response was: "we need to learn to live with this until there is one." And that was a message he finally understood. We can run from doctor to doctor to doctor, and we can hope and pray for a cure, but until then...we simply need to deal! I would not have found the words to make him understand that if not for the interactions I've ha with you all, and I just wanted you to know--you have made a difference in my life, and for the first time in two years, I feel like I have a shot at having a good one. It may not be the one I (we) had before, but we can still have a good life. Thank you one and all for that, you have my eternal gratitude, my love and soft hugs....I only hope that someday I can repay the favor by passing along that wisdom to someone who direly needs it.
    Stormy
  3. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    and I really appreciate your words, as I feel the same way about this board. I have received much support and I have gained much knowledge since I first joined. I have felt warmth and empathy at a time when the supply of each was running short in my life.
    I love you all and I appreciate each and every one of you!
    Love,
    Kady
  4. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    That's is great! Sometimes spouses never really get it. I'm so glad you've been able to get through to him. That will make your battle so much easier.

    Barbara
  5. fibolady

    fibolady New Member

    i liked the reply of "we better start dealing with it"my huband sounded just like yours (deer season included!) my marriage is over, family torn apart, just because they wouldn't deal with the fact that i wasn't cured! one day i hope to be, but what a disappointment in their reactions to my condition.

    what can i say, i know it is depressing. i sure am glad you found this board in time and had a stragety that seemed to help. i believe we too could have had a good life, guess i will have to find that with someone that understands and is more compassionate. we all don't stay "fit and well" forever is my only way i can get through this time now. (referring to the ex!@)

    and to think he complained about me coming to this board.

    warm regards, fibolady
  6. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    Thanks so much for sharing it with us! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things continue to get easier at home, both for you & your family---we have a tough road to travel, but so do they, and it's so much easier for everyone when there's some basic knowledge & understanding.

    Thanks for posting, it made my day!

    Hugs,
    Pam