is illness all in the mind? HELP!

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Adl123, May 26, 2004.

  1. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    I have a dear friend whom I love aqnd respect greatly. She believes that illness is in the mind, and that if one perceives it properly, one can see its unreality. I think this is the Buddhist view.

    Now, I have diabetes, CFIDS/Fibro, and a chronic bone marrow infection, plus some other things. A lot of the things that are wrong with me show up in medical tests and/or Xrays. I just don't get how this is all a matter of perception.

    Are there any peole versed in the Buddhist concept that can explain it to me? I have tried reading, but reading is physicallyt very hard, and I can't remember what I read. I really want to get over the hurt that I feel because this person just doesn't get it. Or am I the one who just doesn't get it?
    I really need some help with this. I don't want to have to cut off another friendship, but dealing with this attitude is just too painful. It would be better if I understood her.

    Thanks,
    Terry
    [This Message was Edited on 05/26/2004]
  2. Montysmum

    Montysmum New Member

    I too wish it was all in my mind, sometimes I think maybe it is, then when the pain worsens I know it is definately real.
    I don't know anything about the buddist religion, but I am sure that is not true, you too know it's not true. Anyone who can sat that all your pain & illness is mind over matter obviously haven't had any major illnesses.
    Tell your friend you would gladly give her your illnesses for it to be simply imagined, if she had to experience your pain etc she would no longer think like that.
    Don't get yourself more stressed following this line of thought, the pain is very real, & any thinking otherwise is wrong.
    I will pray God will relieve your pain, & give you some peace of mind.
    Linda.
  3. warriorinlace

    warriorinlace New Member

    Hi Terry

    I had a friend tell me just the other day that the depression I suffer from is a matter of choice. That initaly was quite hurtful and I wanted to defend my position, lets face it, it's taken 20 years to come to the place of accepting this in myself. I came to the place of letting her have her opinion and knowing full well that what I suffer from is a real illness just as if I suffered from any other more recognised illness.

    I pray that our Lord will touch your wounded heart with his gentleness and love to bring healing to the emotional pain you are facing at this time and provide any understanding that you need for where your friend is coming from.

    take care
    Lace
  4. 30feeling80

    30feeling80 New Member

    Uh, no. However, I DO believe that pent up emotions and unresolved resentments can CONTRIBUTE to poor health. We need a balance of mental, physical, and spiritual health to truly be HEALTHY.

    But, no. Illness is not all in your head. Chemical imbalances (often genetic) can and does cause depression, just as an example. Some imbalances can be managed but never cured. And finding a balance of mind/body/spirit is important.

    One thing that can contribute to illness is thinking that somehow we inflicted this upon ourselves.

    I don't know about Buddhists or any part of their religion. However, I can see how you would feel bitter toward this 'friend'. This person is creating a toxic relationship with you by blaming you for illness beyond your control. Ask her/him that if they broke a bone, would this concept still apply. I doubt they would be willing to blame it on their imagination.

    Good luck. (Don't beat yourself up over this one)
    Darlene
  5. NewEnglander

    NewEnglander New Member

    I believe that stress can make us very sick or sicker.

    but I have to say, I can be the best mood and everything can go my way, but the pain is still there.

    please do not think that being ill is in your mind, enough people will do that for you.

    hope I helped
    Love Lisa

  6. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Thank you all for your positive comments and encouragement.

    I have since spoken to a Buddhist and they believe that things are "in the mind" in the sense that our perceptions come through the mind. It does not mean that things are not real. They believe that what we are able to change, we do, (Like by taking meds, etc....) and what we can't change, we accept, and try to accept it with patience and not with anger, so we can be at peace.

    This seems pretty basic to me, I guess my friend was coming from some other place. Oh, well . . . .

    Once again, thank you. I really appreciate you.
    Terry
  7. rockyjs

    rockyjs Member

    Perhaps your friend is Church of Christ, Scientist?

    This is a brief explantion of their doctrine about illness from Beliefnet:

    Though appearing real, suffering (and illness) is a false belief or error of mortal thought. Suffering is overcome by asserting the truth of one's being as an idea of God. Often, a trained Christian Science practitioner is called to support the patient's thought through prayerfully "knowing the truth."

    Reliance on conventional medicine, though discouraged, is left up to the individual. Physicians are not viewed antagonistically; but their methods are seen as ineffective because they treat disease as originating in the body rather than mind.
  8. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    Hi Terry,
    I wish I knew more about the Buddhist religion. Reading is also hard for me right now so I'll have to wait until I get better from this illness before I can learn more.

    I'm sorry that your friend said this to you. I've had Christians also say ignorant things to me. I think that many times people mean well b/c they probably do want you to get well and they might feel frustrated & want to FIX you or me.

    There are also many Christians, who believe in mind-over-matter or metaphysical-type beliefs, similar to Buddhists. These Christians believe that if they confess what the bible says over and over and do not doubt in their minds that they will be healed. I believe that a person can be healed this way but that NO HUMAN controls God and it's not just a matter of "mind-over-matter".

    I don't know everything there is to know about God but I don't think any religion does. Sometimes thinking positively does affect our physical realities but I highly doubt that any person has this kind of power to be able to change ALL physical realities ALL THE TIME by just thinking differently.

    I do agree with Buddhist's that we need to work on acceptance and patience so we can be at peace. I have found that Jesus' teachings in the bible help me to come to a place of surrender and peace. We should always come to a place of compassion, kindness, gentleness, joy, love, peace, patience, long-suffering, etc. when we are filled with God's spirit.

    Have a great day! Wish your friend love and peace. Do not hold onto your anger at her. Someday maybe she'll realize how mean or uncompassionate what she said to you is.

    Love, Monkeykat
  9. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    That Buddhists believe that we make our own realities through our thoughts. This does not mean that actual physical illnesses do not exist.

    I do believe in the mind/body/spirit connection and if one is sick in any one of these areas, one cannot heal. That is why I think it important for us to pay attention to our mental health and spirituality in addition to seeking medical help for our bodies.

    Deepok Chopra was very good at integrating these things in order to help people heal. It is amazing sometimes how much better one feels after prayer and meditation or how one can see things differently after utilizing therapy.

    The one thing which should never be done is to make people feel as though they are responsible for their own illnesses because they have not had proper thoughts or have done something to bring this upon themselves through their wrong doings. What we are responsible for is our own healing to the best of our abilities. I think the Serenity Prayer pretty much says it all. When we finally do get the wisdom to know the difference, all we can do is place those things we have to accept in God's hands.

    Love, Mikie
  10. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    to you all for your responses. They helped me ground mself in what I already believe. I guess I let myself be throwh by not understanding an old teacher and tending to think that she had greater spiritual understanding than she has.


    God bless ou all.
    Terry