Is intercourse painful??

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by vannafeelbettr, Sep 5, 2008.

  1. vannafeelbettr

    vannafeelbettr New Member

    A question my rheumotologist asked. I said I have no more feelings in the 'good nerve' part, but yes, intercourse itself hurts. Is this an issue for others??
  2. denpen72

    denpen72 New Member

    ...intercourse causes me pain in my stomach upon penetration like a sharp cramp. I remember going to the health clinic in college for this and nobdy could ever figure out what was wrong. I ended up having a laparascopy a few years ago for suspected endometriosis (which I didn't end up having). All gyno's have been stumped by my "odd" problem. No pain in the vaginal area, just my stomach.
  3. celeste1226

    celeste1226 New Member

    I dont get pain from having intercourse I get pain in my hips and legs afterwards.. LOL... Thats even if I get in the mood. My poor hubby. Good thing he works alot.
  4. hensue

    hensue New Member

    I am so thankful you brought that up! The whole idea makes me cringe knowing it is so painful to begin with. KNowing i a not going to get pleasure anymore. Knowing the next day i am so sore i can barely walk, I was very dry so i used cream ky you name it nothing helps it kills me. Then afterward if feels someone has put a hot poker up me. I am 54 i have been this way since about 10 years or more. tried progesterone cream i cant use it. Makes swell and hurt just the cream. Then again i could never take birth control pills. Come to think of it you know why made my legs ache. Horribly which they do now. I am sure i am probably defecient in hormones whats a girl to do.
    when you cant take any. I really believe a lot of this crap has to do with hormones. Should i go to an endocronologist for this? If I told my primary and he would refer me. Have many been and does it help?
    We love to get some feedback my husband thinks he just doesnt satisfy me. We hello i have tried to tell him it is not you. It is me. That just doesnt work in the male physce.
    everybody out there give pointers i have use vaseline, astroglide, ky his ky yours both, progesterine cream. this one thing i cannot get handle on. Had a hyster. when i was 41 just had fibro about 2 years. Help bladder spasms tremendously. then i had the inner endometriosis. Where uterus just gets thicker and thicker. Felt like a new person after that. It was extremely painful before then i still bleed just a small bit. I think it is from being dry heck if i know. All i know is it hurts
  5. sunflowerxo

    sunflowerxo New Member

    I was thinking of posting this questions myself. I have always feel like my groin has been ripped apart during and afterwards with hip, pelvic and thigh pain. Will this ever go away???
  6. kitteejo

    kitteejo Member

    I have found the solution for the dryness and it is WONDERFUL!!! My husband and I feel like we are in our twenty's again. I swear to God. Sex can be fun again!

    K-Y burns my insides and nothing else has worked for me. But Pre-Seed feels wonderful.

    The product was made for patients trying to get pregnant but can also be used as as an lubricant.

    You can buy it on line if you can't find it in the store, I haven't found it in a store.

    It is called "Pre-Seed", Intimate Moisturizer. I stated out with the prefilled applicators but sometimes the plastic applicator can poke you if hubby is not careful so I switch to the 3.5oz bottle.

    This has been a heaven sent for our sex life. It's not very expensive and all natural stuff.

    Here's the Web Site:

    As for the sore joints and stomach, sex is exercise and exercise hurts us no matter what we're doing. Right? It can be worth the pain, at least for me. My relationship with my hubby is very important to me.

    Have fun!!!


  7. ellikers

    ellikers New Member

    Oh wonderful people do I have some helpful info for you!!!

    Pelvic pain and bladder irritation (ESP after and during sex) was my last "issue" of my illness to get taken care of.

    I was brushed off for 2 years when I wast telling medical people this. They kept telling me I was too young to have such problems (I was in my early 20's) and no one took the concerns seriously.

    This is what I was dealing with:
    - sharp pain with sex
    - burning and dull pain after sex (often felt like my bladder was on fire, urge to pee, etc
    - sharp pain radiating down my legs

    Well .... years later guess what I found out (after being very stubborn and requesting to have this problem attended to)?? I went to a urologist and she said I had really bad pelvic floor tension.

    Pelvic floor muscles are the muscles from your front pubic bone to your very low back, that create the hammock between your legs where your uterus, bladder, etc are. Inflamed muscles in that area cause a lot of the things that you are all describing- the muscles can get that way from an injury, from stress or having other muscular issues (mine might have been caused by an accident that rotate my sacrum and lower vertebrae and then made worse when I developed CFIDS).

    I was treated with physical therapy (had pretty major trigger points around my hips and *inside*) and after a couple sessions I was pretty much completely better! I was pleasantly shocked.

    Now I don't have bladder pain (unless I get dehydrated) and I don't have pain with sex ... oh and I don't have pain that shoots down my leg either (nerves were being impinged upon with my messed up muscles). And if I would have a problem in the future, I know the things to do at home to treat it. Pretty cool huh?

    I STRONGLY suggest seeing a urologist, gynecologist or PT (specifically ask if they work with women with "pelvic floor tension" or "pelvic floor dysfunction" as this is NOT commonly recognized or treated, but it should be).

    For more info I recommend checking out these resources:

    <a href=""> Pelvic Floor dysfunction and Interstitial Cystitis </a>

    <a href=""> Treatments Options for Pelvic Pain </a>

    <a href=""> Pelvic Pain Help: A Headache in the Pelvic </a>

    <a href=""> Pelvic Floor Paradox </a>

    <a href=""> Really good interview with an informative person about pelvic pain and sex </a>

    P.S. I also wrote about this a lot in my thread "what worked and is working for ellikers" ... search for posts starting in January of 2007 when I got diagnosed with this.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/06/2008]
  8. ellikers

    ellikers New Member

    Other info I found on the web about sex + chronic illnesses (including IC, which means interstitial cystitis which has a lot in common with pelvic floor tension):

    Dislaimer: These are informative and professional articles talking about sexuality, so they do TALK about sex, but it's not in a degrading way, but if sex talk makes you squeamish, probably don't want to read them. I'm providing this because I think it's important information for anyone who is having problems with sex because of pain, illness and/or disability.

    <a href=""> technical, informative but academic article on Chronic Illnesses and Sexual Functioning </a>

    <a href=""> more readable guide to sex and pelvic pain problems </a>

    <a href=""> tips for less painful sex (meant for women with IC, but I think it's VERY helpful for other pelvic situations) </a>

    The reason a lot of these resources reference interstitial cystitis is because that was what I mainly found online when researching this last year when I was having problems. I didn't find a lot about pelvic floor tension/dysfunction AND trying to have pain free sex.

    Hope folks find this helpful! I wish someone had told me about all this stuff when I *first* started having symptoms and problems.
  9. vannafeelbettr

    vannafeelbettr New Member

    Thank you sooooo much for your info!!! I was in a car accident when all this weird stuff happened.... so maybe it is do to a weird pelvic position for me as well. I'll mention it to my gyno next visit.

    Thanks again!!!
  10. hensue

    hensue New Member

    You have so much info and need so much. I thought i might end up with my husband divorcing me. So maybe there is help yet.
    I am definitely going to order the preseed. Then go to my gyn.
    It hurts after ward. I know this sound terrible like my but is
    going to fall off. It hurts so bad. So maybe i need physical therapy in that dept. Is there where i need to go gyno she will probably say it is part of the fibro.
    I am going to give it a try sex is very important in a marriage. We have been married 34 years, but he is still frisky.
  11. ellikers

    ellikers New Member

    Vanna and Hensue: I'm glad you all are able to use this info! You are not alone and these are serious issues that need to be taken as such.

    This was the biggest reason for my partner and I breaking up about a year and a half ago, and I'd really hope that no one else would have to go through that.

    I really want to urge anyone who is having relationship problems because of chronic pain/sex issues to PLEASE find a medical person to check you out. And again, if one person doesn't seem supportive, try to find someone who has any experience with pelvic floor tension/dysfunction to help you out- it's misunderstood and under-recognized my medical professionals. Insist that something is wrong- describe your symptoms in detail (even the parts you may find gross) and described how you USED to feel (I had to argue that this was NOT the way I used to be and then I was taken seriously).

    After paps I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable ... burning and pain for over an hour afterwards ... but I had to describe that in detail, that it wasn't just "uncomfortable" but REALLY painful. Then I was referred to urologist ... then the PT.

    Hope more folks read this!! Keep us posted.
  12. JaneSmith

    JaneSmith New Member

    Now let's discuss the Mammogram. Talk about pain down there and then up there. First we are jabbed and then we are squezzed.
  13. Didoe

    Didoe New Member

    Just want to add a resounding YES that intercourse has been excruciating, but only since my last baby in '82. I remarried in 2000 and while he was a gentleman prior to marriage, he became a lunatic after marriage. If it didnt make me scream from pain, it wasnt good enough for him.

    I'm divorced (surprise there) and could care less if I ever looked at enough set of b*lls.

    Here's my question, might be too personal, if so...sorry.
    For those with pain on intercourse, do you ever masturbate? and if so, does that also cause similar pain?

    Because of all my meds, I'm not exactly looking for sex, but once in a while (usually while I'm sleeping ?!?) there urge is so strong I feel like I could climax from just thinking about an orgasm. Anyway, masturbation does not have the same painful effect for me.

    et tu?
  14. dragon06

    dragon06 New Member

    But I have quite a few problems in that area that are not related to Fibro. One that might be related is Intersitial Cystitis.

    Anyways dryness can be caused by the medications we take. I have just started an Estrogen cream for this. Also the no more feeling in the good parts anymore can be caused by our medications as well, I know mine is.

    All my other problems that make intercourse painful are not FM related so I won't get into them here. But before I had these problems I always still had some FM pain after.

    But my point of this post is to not just chalk up the pain to FM related. I thought mine was for a long time and then I finally went to a Urogynocologist and found out I actually had FOUR problems that were causing this and that most of them were treatable. So please get yourself checked out by a GYN or a UroGYN to see if you may have some other issues that can be corrected so that you can maybe have less painful sex. I know a few of my problems that were diagnosed I had never heard of before.
  15. luvdogs

    luvdogs New Member

    I have had painful intercourse for years, and I don't know what causes it, except that I happen to have interstitial cystitis. The pain I have is vaginal, and quite severe. I might be in the mood directly before, but the pain makes things quite difficult. And no, it doesn't/ didn't happen with masturbation. Although that no longer happens either.

    But now things have gotten really bad, in that I have lost completely lost the ability to orgasm. It may be my thyroid problems, or doc said it may be the drug propanolol, which I still have to take due to tachycardia. And at first I still had the desire but no orgasm, and now I've lost all desire. Rather strange for me, because I always had a healthy libido.

    All the suggestions are good, and maybe when my thyroid hormones (I now no longer have a thyroid!) return to normal, and perhaps when I no longer have to take propanalol (Inderal), things will return to quasi normal. Anyone else have trouble with this drug?
  16. vannafeelbettr

    vannafeelbettr New Member

    I think an orgasm (and having them often) is a natural, important part of your body sending out much needed good endorphins. Perhaps it's those enorphins we are lacking in our system that makes our mind/body so damn miserable. it's a no wonder more women than men get the pain/depression based diseases. It takes me FOREVER to achieve an orgasm (only through masterbation) and if I do, it's barely anything like it used to be BEFORE I had FM (including without being on meds). Maybe I should try harder. LOL!!!!
  17. ellikers

    ellikers New Member

    I think (if I can remember correctly) that most of my pain was due to penetration (any form) but not just stimulation of the area.

    Orgasms weren't my problem (although they could trigger a bit more muscle tension and therefore some pain in the area, nowhere as bad as from hetero-intercourse) but the actually moving of my bladder and pressure and irritation of the pelvic floor muscles was my problem.

    That's why I think women with pain in this area should get their pelvic floor muscles checked out VERY closely by people who know what to look for.
  18. luvdogs

    luvdogs New Member

    from having been very healthy in that department, and easily orgasmic, to now, nothing, zero, zilch.

    I still have hopes for my future.
  19. ellikers

    ellikers New Member

    I just don't want anyone to give up!!

    I "gave up" that part of myself because I started to believe what med people kept telling me (nothing was wrong, I was too young to be having such problems, etc) and I stopped trying to have people listen. I just thought, well I guess my other health is more important and I'm just not that sexual.

    Then had a painful break-up to make me realize, why had I given up? There WAS something wrong and I wanted it to be fixed for ME! Thus started my short healing journey to deal with pelvic floor issues.

    I don't want anyone else to give up in this way or feel like any part of their health and well-being is "all in their head" or that things are "just the way they are" ... this is why I posted this personal info on here. To give hope and answers to other women who were in a similar place as me.

    Pelvic floor muscles can impact your ability to pass poo as well ... it's not just about sex. I was told I needed the muscles taken care of or I would probably have serious consequences.
  20. jaba520

    jaba520 New Member

    Thanks for putting it that is exercise and whatever exercise we do is going to hurt.....I woke up in a horrible flair yesterday and for the life of me couldnt figure out what had happened. I literally laid on the couch all day saturday and watched a HOUSE marathon on tv. Then remembered I had sex with my hubby, it was great for both of us when I told why I thought I was hurting he kinda giggled. Well I did too, now I know just not to do that certain position and maybe it wont be painful later next time. Before this sex has never hurt during or after so I was in shock yesterday. But feeling better today.


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