Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ckk, Oct 12, 2005.

  1. ckk

    ckk New Member

    i tried to look for the post and again, it was gone. i just want a simple question asked and maybe a suggestion that is all. and let me start by saying, this is not a "monitor" thing. the reason i say this is because I am the one that took my post off not them. they are very gracious people who take their own time to do jobs that are sometimes probably stressful and for that i applaud them. on that note. i think that if people ever notice a post that nobody has anwered no matter what it is, no matter whether you know the anwer or not, someone should at least respond to it. just so that person doesn't get their feelings hurt. that is ALL i am saying. i used to respond to a lot of posts and jump right in on a lot of things here and feel very welcome. after that though, i don't. i used to want to make people laugh and try to help, now i feel unwanted. so, i just look for fibro info and that's it. and i gotta tell you it's a yucky feeling. so, it's just a suggestion from somebody like me but i just don't want people to feel hurt. that's all. have a great day everyone.
  2. lauralea443

    lauralea443 New Member

    I know what you mean. Ive had that happen before and I don't think anyone is doing it intentionaly, but it does happen.

    I think it hurt because usually when we post we are in a place were we need support and when no one replies we feel rejected by our own people.

    We get enough rejection on a daily basics as is, that said I think sometimes a post just gets overlooked. I would suggest to anyone if they don't get a reply, dont take it to badly, just bump it and usually sooner or later someone will reply.

  3. rileyearl

    rileyearl New Member

    I hope you saw my reply to your post about having hurt feelings and leaving. I don't know why some posts go unanswered and others that are similar draw tons of posts. It is just the timing or the weather where people are writing from that day or maybe someone just used all her last energy to write to someone else in crisis.

    It happens to all of us. I try to not take it personally. It's good to save your big guns for the stuff where you really need to get up on your back legs and roar. (Like when someone eats the last cookie, or your doctor won't give you strong drugs, or your son learns how to write his name in spray paint on the neighbor's carpet.)

    I'm still sorry your feelings are hurt and wish I'd seen your post the first time to reply.


  4. KelB

    KelB New Member

    Hi there ckk. So sorry that you feel this way. I'm sure that Laura's right - nobody does this intentionally. The board moves so fast. Quite often I only have the energy to look at the first page, and sometimes there can be two pages or more of new posts per day. I miss a lot.

    Do please bump any posts that you feel haven't been seen by enough people.

    Also, making the title specific really helps. Something like "Need Help...", "Need Support..." or "Please Advise..." and then an idea of what your post is about.

    I almost skipped over this post of yours as "Is there any way?" didn't really tell me what the post would be about. I only came in to read it because I thought it might be a question about using the board that I'd find useful.

    Please don't feel ignored or undervalued. If you make it clear that you need some sort of reply in your title and keep bumping it to the top of the list, then someone will surely get back to you.

  5. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    and I'm sorry you are feeling that way! I, too, try to write a note or at least bump something that has zero replies. I'm not perfect, but I do try.

    I really hope you will begin to "jump bak in" when you feel more comfortable with it again. I guess that's why I hadn't seen you post much, lately.


    You have a great day, also. What's the weather like where you live?
  6. blondie45

    blondie45 New Member

    Yes this has happened to me. I then either just bump my post a few times or just enter it over again, as I know that a lot of us either have to work or are not feeling well enough to be on the computer that much. Please do not take it personally at all.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/12/2005]
  7. ckk

    ckk New Member

    thank you guys for replying. i appreciate it. i have done what you said before, and i don't want to bump 'cause i kinda feel like if nobody responded the first time then they don't want to. anyway, you guys made me feel better and i appreciate it. i have been feeling VERY sad lately there's a lot going on right now and it just stunk that i came here and that happened but then you guys made me happy, thank you. i will try to get involved. someone asked me how the weather was? OH MY STARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! could it rain anymore? that is making my body hurt everywhere. it's horrible. how is it where you guys are? i am in the poconos.take care guys and thanks again.
  8. Mareeok

    Mareeok New Member

    and I'm so sorry you were feeling unwanted. I'm glad the responses helped. I have a hard time keeping up with all the posts and feel bad about that. This is such an understanding site.

  9. elsa

    elsa New Member

    You know, Doxygirl posted a beautiful letter to you specifically yesterday and I followed her post with more of the same.

    It was bumped at least once for you, perhaps twice and yet you never responded. That post is still out there.

    I'm not out to hurt you. I am showing you how posts can get lost in a fast moving board.

    You can choose to participate and share what you know with others or not. Totally your decision, but you cannot cry foul and say we don't care when specific efforts have been made to reach out to you and you don't respond.

    This board moves with super speed. We all have these illnesses to deal with. We try our best to get through and provide support where we can. Noone understands us better then our own.

  10. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    Sometimes the board moves very fast and I'm not feeling well enough to respond to a lot of posts. When I can I do try to respond to ones that have none or very few replies. I think we all know what it feels like to have our posts ignored and we try our best.

    I hope you will try to understand this and not take anything personally. You are a valued member of this board.

  11. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    I asked about the weather! I wanted to know, and I also know when it is gray and rainy, I feel more depressed. I have clinical depression which is very resistant to treatment, so in the winter I really have to watch it.

    Does that happen to you? Sunny days are much better, and right now it is trying to be sunny, but it's just not quite making it. It is cold and damp.

    Surely glad you posted this so we could respond. Never feel like you're left out or unimportant! Each one is very important.

  12. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    The same happened to me a month or so ago and I was upset and let everyone know. Its a horrible feeling, I try to post to people who havent had a reply even if I dont know the answer. But I missed yours.

    I know too that no-one means to hurt but it does.

    love Rosie

  13. LollieBoo

    LollieBoo New Member

    I'm so glad to hear that you feel better about things here and I am so looking forward to seeing your posts again- "jumping in" or on a thread of your own. You have always been there for as many people as you can (including me!), and I am a fan of your perspective!

    I too, have had 0 replies to posts (except for my own bumps!), and I find that often, it may be either people look at the title, and figure that they don't know what to reply already, or after reading a post, go "????" and move on.

    My response is this: If you are feeling well enough in a day to be browsing the 2nd and 3rd pages, or further, and notice a 0 in the reply column of ANY query, whether you can offer any input or not, open it, reply with a repeat of what you hear their question to be, or simply type "bump" in the title, and "bump" in the message and post your reply. Just typing anything in there will get that thread back to the first page, which will be helpful to the poster. I know many already know this and many make it a habit to do it, but there are those out ther who don't know it yet... now they do!

    This is a very supportive board- I know that anyone who has ever gone away feeling unsupported was not the victim of a snub, rather a victim of circumstance. Slow-moving FM/CFS sufferers on a quick-moving board!!

    Have a great day!
  14. ckk

    ckk New Member

    i read more of your posts and i wanted to thank the rest of you guys who came on afterwards that i didn't see beforehand. i didn't however cry faul about you guys not caring, like i said, i was very sad, i asked for help a few times and i used to be on the boards all the time but after that i didn't go on much anymore. so, no i did not see doxys post, because i was not on this site. for the most part you guys are always there any time i have a question or a problem and it is soooooo great that i don't have to into well...see with fibro that means.....and you get the point. it's so great that everyone here knows all that already! it was this one time, i am in a real bad place right now and i asked a few times, it's no big deal it's done and over with and let's face it, you guys rule. you are very caring and considerate and i know that it was selfish of me to assume people should jump to my problem. but thank you for coming to me now and making me feel the way you did, i really appreciate it. you didnt have to do that.
    as for well, my life it just really is not good right now that's all. but you guys made me feel better, i gotta tell ya! thank you soooooooo much for putting a smile on my face and making me happy. i will talk with you guys soon.
    have a great nite.

    LEFTYGG Member

    im guilty of not posting much but now im going to looik for posts with 0 and respond something cause i know im sensitive when no one answeres thx gail

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