Is there ANYONE in So. Cal. who can help me (CFS)???? Please????

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by CinCA, Mar 6, 2006.

  1. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    Please, does ANYONE live in the NW L.A. or Ventura Co./Santa Barbara Co. areas who knows of any resources to help me????

    I am so sorry to be posting this on this board, but I literally have NOWHERE to turn and know absolutely NO ONE to help me (and I put it in caps, because it really is true). As you probably know, we moved about a month ago, very much against my will, for a new job for hubby. In this short span, he's done one weeklong business trip, leaves tonight for another, and then we had the utter shock of his boss's wife dying of head injuries in a freak accident (fall off a golf cart).

    I have no friends at all here, except a very rough acquaintance (i.e. she says "hi" and says 5 words to me), a mom whose daughter is friends with mine at the new preschool. Haven't seen any evidence of neighbors other than cars in and out, nothing.

    I am in a very bad, and progressively worsening, CFS flare from all the stress of the move and working almost round-the-clock to get our prev. home ready to put on the market. My daughter is also really starting to have trouble with all of this, and hubby is in rare form just yelling at me and being absolutely awful from the work stress. Doesn't help kiddo (4 y.o. daughter) pushes, tests, and tests (she is high-functioning/borderline autistic), and hubby feeds into it so it just makes it all worse.

    I also have a cold...sore throat, achiness, even more fatigue. My mom comes tomorrow, but honestly she is even more needy than helpful, and she knows nothing of my CFS. She can't handle it...I can't tell her or she will get so upset, start to freak, etc.

    I am unraveling, more physically than mentally. I am so tired, and my life will not stop. My kid won't stop screaming for this or that (she is doing so now, but I can't deal anymore). She is in school 5 days a week, but the 15-mi. drive is really getting to me, and try as I can, I can't get her there on time 'cause she acts out so badly in the mornings (hubby leaves at 6 am). Things are unraveling.

    Is there anyone who lives even remotely close who could be my friend and/or give me some sort of advice on how to handle this? Okay, kiddo is freaking out AGAIN...I have to go...but please, I so need some help as I am getting worse and worse.

    Also, in all seriousness, does anyone know of a good family law attorney? Our marriage has not been good for a very long time and is at its breaking point. I have nowhere to go and absolutely no way whatsoever to care for myself or my daughter. But things are beyond intolerable and are actually quite emotionally abusive at this point.

    Thank you so much!
    [This Message was Edited on 03/06/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 03/06/2006]
  2. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i am sorry i can not reccomend a good family law attorney but start with legal aid..maybe they will have a lawyer referral number for you have psychologist or docotr down there maybe they can reccomend an attorney or a mediator number...i have a question do you get ssi for your daughter at all? none of my business, bt i was wondering if you will have any income when you decided to leave this man of yours....

    if you need a job, you know what is good also is just working for a temp agency...cause it gets hectic going through divorce...

    i know ou have been thinking about this for quite some time...
    but jsut start calling your legal aid office...and ou coud ask your neighbors...don't tell them you are thinking about filing...just say you have a friend or sister somthing...but not you so they don't go blabbing toyour husband anything...

    well hang in there ok..

  3. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    I don't even know my neighbors. Not one. I don't really see anyone at this new place, where we've been a month now. So I have no leads at all in this new area, which is Ventura Co.

    No, I don't get SSI for my daughter. We didn't even get Regional Center or any state, etc. help 'cause she wasn't impaired enough. It's good she was so "mild", trust me, but it was frustrating 'cause we really did need help with her. But that was awhile ago, and fortunately, she is doing very well. That's one reason I so hesitate to rock the boat, because she gets so upset when we fight and I know it would really devastate her if we split up. It's a touchy situation.

    As for work, I have a good resume from before I got pregnant, but that whole industry (IT consulting) has really shifted, and it is not compatible with mommy-hood in the least. If my health was stable, I am a smart person with a good work ethic and know I could do okay, but my health and mental clarity vary so wildly now. I can't even get my daughter to school on time, at 9 am, so I don't know how I could handle a day at work right now.

    My doctor's also implored me that I have GOT to cut my stress. Yeah, moving was just what he meant! But part of me feels I shouldn't be making any major decisions right now. The other part is so sick of this horrible treatment and feels there is no other option, as I know hubby won't change...this is just how he is. I don't know if it would be better if I stayed and just did my own thing or left. Not an easy choice.

    I would like to at least talk to someone just to get a better idea of where I stand legally and what choices I do have. So maybe I will try to find a local legal aid program'll have to be when my mom is gone, because she can't hear...she would freak, as I said. We get along well as long as I don't have problems. It's how it always has been.

    Thanks so much for replying...I so appreciate it! You've given me some good ideas.

    Take care,
  4. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    it's me again..i just feel for you so much.if yo ulived up here in marin county i would tell you where to go for a good attorney...

    when i mean good, i mean you don't want one that is going to be an don't want this dragged out...the longer it is dragged out the longer the emotional pain...and then the money...i had used an attorney through a non-profit organaization...infact i have an appt on 3/28 to modify the child support.......

    bt the laws are pretty cut and clear here...but just google divorce attorney in your area...see what comes up...

    well i really should get off this computer..carpal tunnel and te tennis elbow stuff..

  5. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    Yes, I need to get to bed myself, but I so appreciate your helpful posts. I'll do some more research later...again, not sure if I can get to it while my mom is here.

    Thanks so very much!
  6. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Best way to find an atty when you can't get a personal recommendation is to call a bar association. There are several: The state bar assoc.; county bar assoc., etc. They will usually give you the three names at the top of their rotating list. You want someone who specalizes in family law.
  7. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    Read your profile, and I feel so badly for you. I hope you find the help you need yourself.

    Thank you for the suggestion. I am assuming I can Google it, etc. or look in the phone book, as I know pretty much zero about this area (Ventura Co.) we are now living in? Or should I consult with someone where we used to be, and where our house is?

    I am considering returning to our home, which still is on the market and has not had any offers (I am joint on everything, including title, etc.). Hubby has told me in the past it doesn't matter...he'll make me buy out his portion of the equity, which I can't, so we'd have to sell the home anyways. I don't know if that is true. All I know is I would at least be closer to my doctor, who I may have to see more often, the way this flare is getting worse and worse. I really do need to consult with someone to find out what my rights are, because if I do take any steps, I have to be very careful and well prepared as it will get quite ugly, for sure.

    Thanks much for the feedback!
  8. yesnettv

    yesnettv New Member

    In that area for friends and for a family law attorney.
    I will be back after 6pm PST and let's figure out how we can chat somewhere, ok?!

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