Is there help/support for SPOUSES???

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Starcat, Nov 16, 2005.

  1. Starcat

    Starcat New Member

    Those of us having to face a life of fm/cfs are able to find and receive alot of support and understanding. But what about our spouses? Where can they turn or who can they talk to??

    Living with someone that has this DD is living with someone that has a real disability. It affects all aspects of our lives and those around us.

    Does anyone have suggestions on where a person would go to find professional help in this area?

    We've been to marriage and family counselors but it's like putting a bandaide on a cut.

    We really could use any help/advice anyone has to offer.

    thanks in advance,
  2. Bailey-smom

    Bailey-smom New Member

    I have discussed this with my dr and maybe it is because we are from such a small community where we know everyone but he has said that he would like to talk to Troy.

    He knows how it is not to understand what is going on with a persons wife and he said he would discuss FM with him and answer his questions - address his concerns - and walk him through the process. I have, of coarse, given him permission to discuss me & my medical stuff as well.

    I thought this may be good because my hubby really likes my dr and knows that he will answer his questions and be honest with him. He knows he can call him day or night - at the hospital, at home or on his cell.

    I know not everyone has this option but it is available for some.

    Hope this helps in some way.

  3. pirtpain

    pirtpain New Member

    I am going to ask my hubby. I agree that they definitely need some type of stress relief and a place to discuss or vent if they need to. Good idea...I'll check with him. Let
    me know if anyone comes up with anything. Thanks!

  4. kimj1215

    kimj1215 New Member

    to think of your husband. I am the wife of a CFS/FM sufferer. He is a young man by my standards and I had a very hard time dealing with what this DD did to him at first. From time to time, you will see messages here on the boards from other spouses, but you are right, we don't spend a lot of time posting, I mostly read to see what is and isn't working for the members here.

    The best thing I have done to help deal with my husband's condition is to become educated about the disease. I bought Dr. Tietelbaums book, Fatigued to Fantistic, and devoured it cover to cover.

    When I knew everything there was to know about the disease (or thought I did), I turned to books about dealing with spouses with chronic illness. The best one I found was written by the husband of a CFS/FM sufferer. It is called Beyond Chaos: One Man's Journey Alongside his Chronically Ill Wife. It's a true eye opener for a non sufferer. It talks about the stages you must go through to become truly compasionate. I loved it and re-read it often.

    Wishing you all the best,

  5. Starcat

    Starcat New Member

    Pirt...I would be interested to hear what your husband thinks about it all too.

    Kim...Thank you for posting. So nice to hear from the other side. I noticed there used to be a caregiver support board here, but seems to be one of the few that got deleted? I was just talking to my girlfriend this morning too, and she mentioned the exact same book you did (Beyond Chaos) Sounds like one that could really be helpful. Thanks :)

    I did find some info in the library here. But there doesn't seem to be too much. Also the National Organization for Empowering Caregivers (NOFEC) and National Families Caregiver Association (NFCA) seems like they might be helpful websites too.

    Just not much out there for caregivers of FM/CFS tho.

    [This Message was Edited on 11/17/2005]