Is This Crazy?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by AchyAchyBod, Mar 10, 2003.

  1. AchyAchyBod

    AchyAchyBod New Member

    Hello,

    I would like to ask your opinion of something. I suffer from fibro and osteoarthritis and a few other things and have to work to support myself (two jobs). Lately, my health seems to be worse than before. The pain is non-stop, the fatigue is worse, been running low-grade fevers and the usual general malaise.

    Like I said, I have to work to support myself. I am in the process of looking for a full-time job that pays more than the one of the part-time jobs so I won't have to work so much. The problem is, I wonder how long I can keep this up? Doubt creeps into my mind every time I have an interview. Each time I wonder how long I can work before my body crashes (and it usually does). My mind doesn't function sometimes, the fog is bad, my short-term memory comes and goes and the depression can be really overwhelming. But, I want to work and realize my dreams and goals.

    Am I deluding myself about continuing to work? Is this a form of denial? Am I wrecking my body? What would you do? I'm looking forward to getting your sage advice. Many heads are better than one (in my case anyway). :eek:)

    Thanks in advance,

    Achy
  2. jeanderek

    jeanderek New Member

    Right before I found out that I had fibro I was working two jobs, One was at a local hospital in the parking garage the other was a CNA. The hospital job wasn't so bad because I was able to sit and work. The CNA job was all together different though. I sometimes had to work 24 hours straight because I would be staying with patients who were in the hospital that sometimes had no family or the family was so into thier own lives didnt want to deal with thier sick mother or father (sad i know). When I wasn't at the hospital with a patient i was working in the garage. Sometimes I would take care of paitents in thier home which was even worse because then I had to do cooking, cleaning, laundry and giving baths. Well finally I had to quit the CNA job it was just all to much. I was able to keep working at the garage for a little while longer but the fumes of the exhaust from the cars became more than I could deal with. Every day i would leave with a miagraine headache and the sitting in one spot for 8 hours wasnt fun either. So I decided it was time to leave. At that time I finally found out that I had fibro, and the mri that I had done showed that I also had Degenerative disk diesase also have RA and gout. So I decided to file for my disability benefits and been waiting every since. I would say file but the only thing is your still working and they will never approve you if you gainful employment. Even if you was able to get it then it would only be a fraction of what your making now probably so I don't know what an easy answer would be. I just know that if i would have kept up what I was doing to myself I would have drove myself into an early grave. Its a hard decision I hope that you find a way, Best wishes.

    Hugs,
    Jeanna
  3. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    Yes, I think I am probably in denial sometimes and still work full-time. I guess a part of me really hates to give in to this fibro. I, too, have problems with the fibro-fog. Like today. I had a really bad night last night with lots of pain. Fortunately not every night is like this and my pain and sleep meds help. But I guess only you can decide when and if you can no longer work. If you have been reading the other posts here, you have probably learned that getting disability benefits is not always easy. I assume you are the sole supporter. I am fortunate that I have a husband who works, but I am not sure how we can manage on one income.

    My husband and I are attending a fibromyalgia conference in Cincinnati on March 22. We hope to get information on fibromyalgia (although I've done lots of reading), but mainly we are going to listen to the two attorneys who specialize in disability and get all the info we can. I plan to share any info I learn there on this message board.

    Ellen
  4. schnoodle

    schnoodle New Member

    The one thing I would do over again, if I could, is listen to my body. I was working, commuting, taking care of family, doing it all. If you don't listen to your body and continue to do more eventually you will get to a point where you can do nothing - then you are forced to not work at all - like me. Listen to your body. Instead of doing more, see if you can do less. I understand the money pressures. I lost my job over this and thought we would lose everything, as my paycheck was the primary one. But things have been working out, barely, by cutting back (extremely) and lots of prayer. Your body is worth it. You are worth it.
  5. JP

    JP New Member

    I can't say what might be good for you. I can share my experience however. I abruptly left my career 15 months ago when I had an organization chance. We were closing one department and I would have been going into another management position (new position). During the discussion, I asked my manager if there were any packages left. Yep, took the package and ran. It was a fight or flight reaction. About 3 months later, I began investigating my health and discovered why I ran. I do hope to work again, in the worst way. I love work and I have great earning potiential. Right now, I could not see myself in a traditional work environment. I volunteer a few hours now and then and I help friends, for example, I wrote a promotion proposal for someone yesterday. Every time I extend myself with work, it takes about two days to recover to my baseline pain condition.

    Crazy stuff...I hope that you are able to create what you want.

    Take care,
    Jan
  6. nitalynn

    nitalynn New Member

    I wonder sometimes if I am kidding myself or making things worse in the long run. I think I'll stick with it for the present but there are things I am working on such as educating myself about the disiability process. I am trying to work things out so I can plan the next time I leave. (Have tried once andit did not work both for financial and personal reasons.) I should be on better financial standing in about 5 years if I can last that long. I'm taking care of myself the best I can in the meanwhile.
  7. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I was in denial for years and just kept on working til one day, I just couldn't do it any longer. It is much harder to come back up when one does this.

    I haven't worked in more than two years. I may be able to return at least part time later this summer, but I'm not sure.

    I believe if you can find a way to simplify your life now so that you can take some of the financial stress off yourself, it will benefit you in the long run. This isn't an easy choice, but it may be necessary. If I cannot return to work this summer, I will be selling my condo and moving into a mobile home to cut my costs. I love my condo, but one thing I've learned for sure is that we have to deal with the reality that we may not be able to continue to live at the same level as before we got sick.

    Good luck to you. BTW, if you can also find some treatment which will help you with your symptoms, it may make the difference for you.

    Love, Mikie
  8. AchyAchyBod

    AchyAchyBod New Member

    Thank you all for your input, it is greatly appreciated! I will think long and hard about the working situation. I love working and not having to depend on someone or an organization. Many times I've wished that there was someone to depend on so I wouldn't have to work so much. But being a single person that means no work, no place to live, or food, or car, or anything! I'd really be up the creek!

    Thanks again!

    Achy

    PS-If this sounds goofy and fragmented, it's the fog.
  9. Sheshi16

    Sheshi16 New Member

    Hey!! Join the ranks of the insane!!!! Overworking is probably a huge contributing factor to our demise!
    I also have no choice....single mom, three kids, full itme job, school , second job on the weekends.....I also have narcolepsy.

    I pray alot. I think if I ever (and I emphasize ever) get child support and I have 6 months under my belt I will go out and apply for disability. I don't get any help with my kids other than their pre-school so i'm not sure what i would do. Welfare is out of the question...believe me, I tried to get some kind of assistance and was denied everything. You have to make less than $800. a month to qualify....my rent is 875.00!!!!!

    I guess you just do what you have to just to get through the day. I've learned to live with constant pain....even with meds. It really sucks.


    Hang in there:):):)
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
    shelli
  10. AchyAchyBod

    AchyAchyBod New Member

    Hi Shelli,

    My heart goes out to you in your predicament. I hope things will soon improve with the child support issue and/or getting some kind of assistance. I am in awe of you!

    Thank you for responding to my post. Hang in there Sweetie!

    Achy

    PS-Can something be done about the narcolepsy?[This Message was Edited on 03/13/2003]