Is this just me? I hate to be alone at night terrifies me

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Sep 23, 2008.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Help I am nervous tonight my dear husband had gone deer /elk hunting till sunday. I dispise being alone at night. I never really liked to be alone in the first place but since my pain levels have gotten worse being all alone , by my self, no one else in the house. But I dont' want to go and stay with my Mom either.

    What makes me feel like this. I just answered a post about xanax as I have had panic attacks in the past and they terrify me. In the past I would have gone out driving till all hours of the night but now I am on strong pain meds, soma, and xanax. So driving is not an option any more.
    Hubby left this am and here it is 3:24 am and I can't relax and go to sleep dispite taking all of my meds. I am so scared that some thing could , possiably may happen that I can't sleep. I stress over my mother's health what if she gets worse tonight or in during the time he is gone, what if she has to go to the ER, I can't cope with it.

    Yet I can't stop from worring about things I can't control, my daughter and her dip head of a husband have just moved into a new apartment and all the dip does is yell at my daughter and the babies. 3 yrs and 21 months.
    I know that I can't do any thing to change him , I can't drive there and help her move in and put things away as the car I drive has bad CV joints so I really should not be driving the 80 miles to her house.

    I have been going over the serenity prayer as it helped me many times, as my dear MIL would tell me to just read it and belive in it and you will be fine. I wish she was still with us. See I am doing it now, I am sitting here in tears in a panic and can't do any thing to stop feeling like this.

    Why me , what makes me feel this way.
    I don't know what to do, my support system has gotten old {there was a time not so long ago when I felt this way I could call my Mom and just talk it through and I could handle it but now MOm is 81 and not in good health.}

    I don't mean to ramble on and on about this I am just so stressed out . I am sorry about how long this is. I am going to try and take a hot bath and relax and try to sleep.
    Thanks for being here.
  2. PatDLT

    PatDLT New Member

    I too can't sleep for various reasons. I find my self cleaning the kitchen or watching TV or e-mail on the website. It can be at 1 to 3 in the morning. I was having anxiety attacks, but they were also from depression. If I got off my anti-depression meds, I was a basket case. Crying for everything, worrying and panicing. From this I found out I have to take them for life or I would go back to being a basket case.

    I know what it is to worry about an ailing mother. When my father died, she lived 100 miles away, so I decided to move her in with us so I could take care of her. It worked out well until she broke here hip. I was still working so she had to stay with my sister.

    Caldonia is right, read or watch a funny movie, it does help to take your mind off even if it is for a short while.

    Hang in there.


    [This Message was Edited on 09/24/2008]
  3. vannafeelbettr

    vannafeelbettr New Member

    The way I look at it, if anyone broke in my house, they could over-power me with no problem. I'd be too damn weak to defend myself at all. And the brain fog takes away your ability to have mental sharpness as well; which could mean i could accidently burn down the house because I forgot I put hot water on for tea. I need someone else to be here for their brains and muscle, even if it meant to kill a spider.

    Otherwise, I am fortunate as very little scares me and it takes a lot to stress me out when I am tired and just want to sleep.

    Good Luck!!!
  4. Empower

    Empower New Member

    I am the same way, but even when my husband is here!

    How about trying to turn the tv on (low volume) so that you or maybe the radio

    So you kind of try to concentrate on what they are saying, but you can't really hear them, so your mind is working on something other than worry

    I did this for many years and it helped

    Lately, I will say, "let go, let God" over and over as kind of a relaxation

    Also I started Que sera sera, (whatever will be, will be)

  5. asmom15

    asmom15 New Member

    Hi I experience the same things. I hate being alone anytime of the day now but most of all at night. I feel for you, I am afraid of all the feeling going thru me too. I suffer with anxiety and have tried many different drugs. But I can not tolerate any. I am hyper sensitive to drugs, but one thing that does help me is a low dose of xanax. It calms me down and helps me to fall asleep. I take it only at night. its a .05. Hope this helps. Also I don't know if you have any dogs, but I have 2 and they help me alot. Take my mind of things, and sleep with me at night. Take care!
  6. baanders

    baanders New Member

    Look at the good things on the worship board.

    My source is Jesus Christ. Offer up this anxiety as a sacrifice to the one who died for you. Anxiety and fms should propel you to run to Jesus (or whomever you worship). We don't have the answers. Suffering is a mystery, but it is always allowed for the greater good. For example, if you are a Christian, you have read that the fall of Adam and Eve led to free will (the greater good came out of sin). Don't try to figure things out. Cast your cares on Him. I pray throughout the day.

    This illness drove me to the Catholic church. If I can't go, I watch EWTN (Catholic Network). I find that saying the Rosary helps. I am not trying to force any religion on you.

    I am not promoting any faith. I think that my other friends who believe in God are wonderful...loving him with their whole hearts, no matter the denomination or religion.

    Say it slowly with me, memorize it:

    Hail Mary full of Grace, the Lord is with thee.
    Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
    Holy Mary, Mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death, Amen.

    I have become a devout Catholic. If you can make it to church, the Episcopal church will accept you immediately. If you are too sick, go a few times and you can ask the pastor to visit you. You will find that worshiping and becoming one with the Father and our Lady (if you are Catholic) will take away the anxiety.

    Saying this Rosary bypasses the intellect and anxiety parts of your brain.

    No pain, no gain
    No cross, no crown,
    No guts, no glory

    Meds I take for anxiety: Seroquel 50 mg bedtime is great, Chloral Hydrate liquid for emergencies, Clonidine, Clonazepam, phenergan, compazine.

    A good devotional book helps, too.
    A great catholic website:
    TV is great.

    [This Message was Edited on 09/24/2008]
  7. kat0465

    kat0465 New Member

    HI rosemarie,
    yes i have the same fear as you do, i think in my case it's because i feel so unwell, i am afraid im gonna get really sick while im alone & and there will be noone to help me.both of my children still live at home and i depend on them way too much, they are young adults and my daughter will almost never leave me alone at night cause she knows how i feel. so in the process i am disrupting her life, thats the part i hate the most about this dd!! it just tears every part of our lives apart, including children & spouses,imn my case i take Xanax for Panic & anxiety attacks, and it does help with the being alone thing, i dont think if i had any help med wise i could handle much of what this disease gives me as far as emotional.the Pain and suffering is enough to drive you insane! so dont feel alone, cause i think a lot of us are feeling the same too!! when it gets bad, i try & refocus my thoughts, or even just getting on this message board helps me a lot. {{Hugs}} hope your feeling better soon, your in good Company :)
  8. SerenityPheonix

    SerenityPheonix New Member

    I have panic/anxiety disorder as well as fibromyalgia. The fibro causes discomfort that inhibits sleep and just being awake all night most of the time causes me to hear or think things that are probably not there or happening. I do take Buspar for the anxiety...its non addicting like many of the others are, thats why i like it. It does do quite a bit for overall anxiety control.

    We also have the chat rooms here. They are open 24 hours a day. I tend to spend my nights in the chat where at least I have others to talk too and it seems to help pass the time as well as keeping my mind otherwise occupied. There are many chat rooms, but the ones that seem to stay busy most are depression and fibromyalgia. You should come in and check it out sometime when you are up.

    I hope things get better for you soon.
  9. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Still nervous about being alone. last night was better but that was due to having my daughter and grandbabies here.But the Dip of a SIL wants to come home and not hunt with the big boys. It upsets me that he can kill my daughters feelings for him, upset her , scare her and make his kids stressed. But the only person in his life that really means any thing is HIM. Sorry for the yelling.

    My daughter and I talked for a couple of hours in the late night.She knows that there is some thing wrong with her marriage Ok{ her hubby}. But right now she is between a rock and a hard spot.

    So she is at Mom's now sleeping as she has to get up early
    to drive for over 2 hrs to pick him up so that she can drive another hour or so to be home by noon.

    To every one that has posted I thank you for what you have told me. Yes I am christan , I am LDS. I do put my faith in Jesus for all things as there is just too much pain in my life for me to deal with.
    Every one here is such a treasure to me, I love your posts , responce's to mine. Thank you so much for all the support you give to me always.
    But I still can't sleep too stessed to sleep. I need to get some sleep as I have to take Mom to church in the morning at 11am. And it is just getting less time for me to sleep.

    Well off to bed and try to sleep I just took my xanax hope it will help.
    Lots of HUGS to all

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